I get stared at fairly often, I like to think it's due to my strking beauty and exquisite taste in fashion. <Joni rolls on floor laughing until she wets herself>.

Hugs...Joni Mari

I must say that was one terrific article, thanks Rae. I know in my early years of going out I must have popped an eye or two. I'm not sure I ever looked at anyone long enough to know if they even noticed me, not to say I wasn't scared to death of being read. I learned early on that if you just go about your business nobody tends to notice unless you are dressed for an evening out at the club but instead at 10 a.m. on Monday morning. I now pop eyes when I'm the one telling them I'm a transsexual, kind of a reverse situation when you blow their tranny stereotype out of the water.
Hugs,
Marsha

Some do,some don't. Can't say I notice it any more. However,I recently saw "Taking Woodstock" which,as some of you may be aware, has a T-girl in the story. As I left the cinema- ok, the ladies room actually, I did have the impression that some women were looking rather more closely at me than they probably would have done otherwise. They were all probably stunned by my amazing dress sense.............or was it that I'm a tad under 6'?

Lynn

A wonderfully crafted and insightful article. A joy to read. Thank you Rae.

Yes, people look at me in the street, but in the beginning I was lucky enough to have a "Post-op" friend that introduced me to the TG community before I had ventured out (in the "light of day", as it were) on my own.
Having the confidence I had gained from attending parties and events etc. in the TG/TV/TS community (coupled with some very good assistance at "presentation" etc), I was able brave the "Land of the Ovarians" without too much trouble.
When a woman gives me the stare - I just give it back to her.
When a man gives me the stare - I just apply what I have learned about "presentation" a little heavier... and his stare changes :
Doanna

An excellent article Rae.

Yes I do get looked at when out in the street. At first I was worried about what would happen but now I'm not bothered.

Perhaps the most interesting was when I was accosted by a pamphleteer. He was trying to bring people to his God an stopped me to try and get me to take a pamphlet. He soon realised that I was not what I seemed and asked why I was dressed to deceive. Did I not think it sinful? I asked him why he had a beard and why he had a rock band name on his t-shirt. This led to a long discussion after which I belive he realised I was only expressing myself as I thought appropriate. We parted on the best of terms.

Takes all sorts.

Tina your conversation with that guy reminds me of how my wife always deals with those that bring up this is sinful. My wife simply says "And what is your sin?" I've said that to one of my customers and when he had me back to do the renewal of his service he said to me how that statement really caught him by surprise and caused him to really think about my situation. I have been fortunate that very few people have rejected me. Should I be confronted again with the "sinful behavior" statement, I will respond with "And what is your sin? I know mine is not deception."
Hugs,
Marsha

I think in the early days of venturing out it's inevitable, unless you are blessed genetically, to get the odd look or two, but so what. The more you get out there and become yourself, the less it happens until it stops all together. At that point, the only looks you get are because you look good! It takes time, and is a process that is learnt, not switched on overnight. Patience, observation and experimentation will help you to avoid being read.

If you do it right, then like Marsha said, the surprise will come when they do realise you are actually transsexual.

Nikki

LOL, stop telling the girls stories Nikki. I live in Georgia where just like driver's licenses, you get everything out of bubble gum machines.
Hugs,
Marsha

Damn! So that's where I've been going wrong!

Nikki

What I notice happens now and again is what I call the double take game.

When a fella notices me the first time the body language is "thats a bit of alright."
the double take facial expression is a picture of horror and it makes me chuckle everytime! lol

I can remember an evening, maybe 5:30pm, walk to the local Safeway grocery store to pick up a couple of bottles of white wine and some cheese. It was around 1992-93.

In those days I still had most of my own hair, blondish brown, shoulder length and a little wavy and I had no facial hair. I was dressed very andro as is my normal way. I was still pretty slender and was dressed in tight jeans, a white t-shirt over an unpadded leisure bra, my black leather "Highway Patrol" jacket and motorcycle/engineer boots. I was carrying a couple of canvas environmental "not plastic or paper" bags. This was in San Francisco's Sunset District.

I walked out of my duplex and headed for the store which was two blocks east and one very steep (it was San Francisco) block south to the store. I passed a couple of hispanic guys and I could hear them laughing and making comments about me as I walked away from them. No big deal, I was used to it, actually rare in most of a liberal city like SF.

I came to 19th Ave. (a major street that leads to the Golden Gate Bridge) and waited for the light to change. A bunch of fratboy types pulled up to the curb by me and one of them opened the window of their Porsche and asked "Are you a whore?" I assured them I wasn't and as they roared away, I wondered if they though I was male or female.

I crossed the street with the light and walked the next block and started down the hill. When I got to Safeway, I picked out my purchases and went to the checkout lane. The Chinese checker was openly rude and disinterested in checking me out. As I left she gave me a totally sarcastic, "Have a good night, ...SIR....." Did she think I was a lesbian? Was she making fun of a not so masculine guy? Was she just a bitch? I don't know...

As I walked back up the hill, loaded down with my wine bottles and cheese, to my home I walked past a beautiful young girl with long black hair. She gave me a big smile and said, "Steep, isn't it?" I smiled and agreed, too tongue-tied to say anything more. As I closed my door at home I wondered what had actually happened during my short journey.

The moral of the story, there are all kinds of people out there, you just have to accept who you are and deal with it...

Best,
Melody

odd i was def clocked in fenny stratford...and i didnt care,,,,but tina had to get me down the stairs at philbeach 5 yrs ago....i was dead scared then!

As a matter of fact they do most guys look @ me like they want to do me lol.

Thanks Rae for an encouraging article. I tried once many years ago to go out in public in Vermont. I had not dressed in very flattering female clothing. I wore a long dress and modest heels, but I wore a Nike jacket , and in retrospect I did not have enough courage to dress in completely normal female attire. I am just under 6 ft, but have a slim well shaped body, and I should have worn clothing to tastefully exhibit my female side including a modest but shorter skirt to show off my legs. I had walked around downtown Montpelier for about 45 minutes, and then a drunken guy said "Hi Mister". Fortunately, my car was just there and I jumped in and drove off.

Perhaps I will now try again, and if someone recognizes me, maybe I will get some enjoyment irrespective of whether it is an accepting smile or some sign of rejection.

With my best thoughts and hugs.

Jacqueline

Being read in Public. For many transitioning a nightmare.Probably at the core of most pretransitioners fears.

As I am a gregarious type of woman my Job since I transitioned couldnt be more public. I currently work at London Victoria Underground Station on the gatelines and platforms (making announcements so voice comes into play here too). Interacting directly with over 200 plus individuals daily and being seen by several thousand day to day. As i am a very confident person much more so since I transitioned I never really had any nereves about doing this job (combined with 20 years of going out in public all hours prior to transitioning in femme mode) It held no fears for me personally. Being myself was easier interacting with the Public than if I had done this trying to be a guy.

Yes i had several occasions where in public rather loudly various morons would shout out things such as look theres a guy dressed as a woman. I kind of expected such but got far less per 1000 people than I imagined I would. Also when I transitioned i at the time was wearing a wig and had to use far more make up than I would have desired too as I had not started any IPL/ Laser treatment. but 6 months later with some IPL/ Lser less make up things improved dramatically as well as changing my voice. 2 1/2 years Later no one notices me now.

I accepted the inevitiability of being read whilst transitioning what counts is as one gets closer to the last stages of the physical transformation that you are able to blend into the surroundings and no one notices that you are anything but a woman. It must be horrendous if after years of effort expense and changes that you still get read. For me thats not the case these days I travel daily on Public transport trains and tube and no one looks twice. If I do get looked at i assume its more likely that they either fancy me or that if its a woman she like some item of clothing I am wearing or how my hair is etc.

The key is not to expect to either pass or to be not read when out and about then for all the time that you are not it is a bonus.
There is a whole other posting about what to do and not to do especially as an early transitioner to pass and be accepted as a woman. But on the whole my experiences has been wholly positive and the percentile of being read to not being read outweighs those occasions when it did happen.

I cannont specifically say what factors now means I no longer get read. Probably lots of subtle changes mones have done to my face, my more relaxed demenour,My voice, etc all add up to woman not man not guy just another woman out there in the world.

I never let it eat at me or hurt me when in my early days I did get read as I knew I was doing what was right for me plus for every negative remark or public pointing and shouting about me when I was at work was outweighed by the huge amount of support many members of the public gave me daily. Sadly the down side of passing is i dont get such support because I am just another woman at work LOL.

I don't think people look at me in the street, not to my detriment anyway as far as I'm aware.
Bu I spent a good part of my teenage years a very hardcore punk where the whole idea WAS to get stared at in the street.
So I used to stride about in my leather mini, or a black bin liner, ripped fishnets, Doc Martins, spiked hair, and completely ridiculous makeup. I used to get loads of comments, some of which were genuine hatred. I even got attacked a couple of times, not for being a CDr but for being a punk.
Ah the good old days.

I've been read before. Sometimes it's scary. Sometimes, it's funny.

Scary: Getting read outside a gay bar on a dark night.

Funny: Getting read by a lesbian inside a gay bar.

Better yet: Getting hit on in gay bar, because I'm TS and good looking. (Yeah, yeah...I remember my first beer, too.)

Scary: Getting read in a place far from home--and safety.

Funny: Getting read in a gas station. And not caring, because it's 115 degrees outside.

Better yet: Getting read by a genetic woman in a mall. (She looked at me, smiled, winked--and moved on.)

Does it happen? Oh, yes. It happens.

Does my life as Mina move on? To quote a phrase, "You betcha."

Do people look at me? Sure they do. (Otherwise, they run into me.) Do I look at them, and sometimes wonder? Sure. Who doesn't?

Luv 'n hugs,

Mina

I've never tried to go out and try to pass as a woman, except for walks at 2am, when in this city there is still a few people out and about

I have gone out wearing womens clothes in stealth. Last winter I'd go out with a skirt or a short dark dress with a pair of leggings (partially for the weather, and partially to blend my lower half so it wasn't obvious on a first glance that I was wearing womens clothing.

I've gotten several looks though. Two times coming home carrying some groceries, though it was on separate trips. One was a guy that was giving me double, triple and quadruple looks. I just pretended I wasn't noticing and kept up the pace. The other was a woman I passed by very close to home. I had managed a glance back, and I could tell she had been looking back, and had a smile on her face. This second time was "obvious" that something was a bit different about me, as I wasn't wearing the leggings, and it was 8am on a cool November morning, carrying a couple bags of groceries

One other time was last winter when I went skating on the canal. While putting my skates on, I noticed on man staring at me with neither a look of approval or disapproval, just a very extended period before the typical Eureka moment when the light finally clicks on that something appears to be different

The easiest way to draw looks is to wear something or appear to be out of place. I started to relax as I was out an about in stealth because as long as I didn't try to be noticed, I knew most people wouldn't register that there was anything unusual.

If you are trying to pass as a woman and get read, most of the looks of approval from the male demographic you might get are from gay men, TS's or very open minded guys, as most straight guys would be likely horrified that the chick he thought he saw, was infact a 'dude in drag'

I still have not gone out dressed up but i believe that the best thing would be to just do your work and dont look towards the people.Suppose if someone tease you harass badly Keep a pointed pen and thrash the person with it.Keeping a knife is an offense in india but not a pointed pen.

Following what Cristine said a few posts earlier, a good way to get read is going out in groups with other TGs. I know there are support groups that recommend for your safety that you always go out in a group or at least with someone else, but talk about putting a target on your head, especially if your head or someone else's in the group is way up high. Once one of you is made, every last one of you is going to get scrutinized from top to bottom and read or assumed that you are TG like the others. Now most of the time it would unlikely be a problem, just keep in mind your surroundings and avoid strolling past Joe Bob's Real Man's Bar, lol.
Happy strolling,
Marsha

Hi Marsha,

The trick is to have your Tranny Night Out at the same venue as the Tall Women's Support Group uses...

Best,
Melody

Very true, going out in big groups is a sure way to draw attention. Now not that I am against attention, lord knows how I like attention. But two girls out is just a passing glance. Usually I enjoy watching reactions.
Now, get a group together, leaving a club at closing time with a number of girls drunk, in a straight environment, double trouble.
I have been there, this one T girl that I will not go out with any more, when she is drunk ( which is often ), no sense, she'll make issue with Billy Bob, she did this on the streets of Ann Arbor, Mi. Or a guy standing in a dark door way with a hoody on, yes you read right, I could not believe it, being the senior member I told everyone to keep moving, and fast. Good god, did I give her a piece of my mind, only to have her friend minimize the situation, luckily there was no problem. I could go on about groups, but you get the point, like some others have stated here.
I think passing some of these stories along will help others not make this mistake, going to a gay bar, no problem with groups. Straight clubs, two is perfect, three is iffy, at least for myself, or two girls with a few male friends, no problem.
Huggs...Tammy

I must say that i hate teasers.No one has the right to harass anyone.Many people here have got nothing to do apart from gazing at you ,teasing and pass lewd comments.Our police is perhaps the worst police department in the world.I am not hurting anyone by being what i am..These people have no right to tease me.I will never change my ways for these criminals.I have decided to keep something like a sharp pointed object for my defense and will definitely use it if required.

Oh jeeze Crissie, thanks for that. But think back some 6 or 7 years, our ladette period, walking down Oxford street deliberately drawing attention to ourtselves, hooking the back of each others skirts up with brollys, lol. The incident in the Black Cap, both Coming out the loos with the backs of our skirts tucked up in our knickers, just to draw attention to ourselves, not to mention the episode of using the gents toilets. Or were you too drunk to remember lol. It is not just me, lol. But love you so much, you never complain about my arms when I am giving you a cuddle.

Love Cass.