Hi girls.my head is swimming at the moment. I've been receiving counselling for depression for a few weeks now and today she she asked me if I had any idea what the underlining cause might be,same as she does every week. The difference is this week I took a deep breath and told her everything. How I'm just so desperate to be female. How my mind is full of these thoughts 24/7. How I'd been cross dressing since the age of 5.How I'm so worried for my wife and kids. I even said sorry for dumping all this on her. I'm 40 years old and she is the first to find out about the real me.Have I done the right thing?I suppose time will tell.I'd welcome any of your thoughts. Take care. Love Lillith

Lillith Cross,

I believe you did the right thing. It’s clear from what you have stated that you have been suppressing your feelings for a long while. Your mental health is very important and depression can affect you life in every way. Sometimes just by talking with someone you can trust can help enormously. Rather than doubt yourself, give yourself credit for discussing an issue you may have been suppressing for so long. You should be proud of yourself.

Good Job and keep you head up!

Dr. Bob

You have definitely done the right thing Lillith. A problem shared is a problem halved.

Hugs, Katie x

I think you've definitely done the right thing by telling your counsellor of your desire to be female. Bottling something up for so many years can't be good for you.

You certainly did the right thing hon......takin that 1st step is the hardest part.



Lol xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Anna-Marie

If you were seeking counseling about your depression, discussing the actual source of your depression was entirely appropriate. Please keep us apprised with what develops, sharing to a sympathetic ear is very helpful. Best of luck to you.

Hiya Lilith.

Firstly, a great weight of your mind, coming to terms, having someone to open up to.

Now I suggest you take time out, to have a think, With the help of your psychiatrist, try and understand, reach some sort of understanding why you have these feelings, The reasons are many and varied, not always related to a gender disorder problem The wish to live ones life in adopting a new gender. Some cross dress, leading stressful male lives, competing, they then periodically adopt a gender reversal, dissasotiating themselves from everyday life, getting some respite, Of late its become common for big tough soldiers with battle stress disorder symptoms to cross dress temporarily adopting a new gender an extreme form of escapism to bury the horrors they have witnessed, Some people just find it a natural way to relax, they feel comfortable inside just having periods of expressing their feminine side.

Now not having been married myself, but know a few that have been in your situation, problems are going to arise. Mainly from ignorance, no I don’t mean that in a derogatory sense. But the lack of understanding on what causes these situations and Gender Identity disorders in general. Unless people are confronted with the so called problem or involved with a person like yourself, they have never had to know or understand anything about it.

So not suprising one of the main misconceptions is that X dressing makes one gay, like man in frock equals gay. Women marry men, with the perception they are the almighty and protectors, etc, etc.. So coming out to ones wife has to be done with great care and done in such a way that they know all the facts. and share knowledge as to what your needs are. I have known a couple basically sat home in a frock waiting for the wife to come home and hit them with it. Like the wife is not going to feel betrayed, have her faith and world destroyed by someone she loved and trusted. I have also know a couple of women that personally found it attractive to deliberately set out to ensnare a transvestite, its what turned them on, unfortuanately both the husbands eventually turned out to want to go all the way, then one did’nt did’nt proceed, had secret trysts with men, he resented his wife for trapping him with kids etc, and she lived on eggshells not trusting him. The other progressed to full transition she felt betrayed, a TV she could handle and was what she wanted, the full kit she did’nt want,

BUT there are some wonderful examples on this site of people who have been open at the start of a relationship, developed an understanding and living happily, there are also some very lovely people who have discovered their GID later in their married life, even with children, who have transitioned after explaining in deapth, gently and with forthought, reaching an understanding and being accepted for who they truly are and also still in loving and happy relationships, It might seem selfish to an outsider, but whats the point of two people living in misery each being denied what they want, need.
Some work at it and readjust their relationship, its takes great courage on the wifes part, and a lot of people tend to forget that, because to your general public who don’t understand the complications of this problem, refer to the wife as her with the tranny husband, and disrespect her as well.

But I sincerely wish you well.

Thanks to all for the messages. My head is still spinning. I hardly slept at all last night. They say life begins at 40 I think in my case one way or another that could be true. It's great to be able to post on here and have replies from people who know what I'm going through. Thanks again for all the good luck wishes and sound advice. Those that sent me a pm I will get back to you in the next day or so. Take care love Lillth

Lillith,

YES!!!! *hugs*

I always get tears when I hear about someone finally taking that 5000 pound weight off your back. Light is always better than darkness. Truth is always better than a lie.

It's a first step, hon, and make no mistake, it is a HUGE step. Many congratulations. Keep probing for info about yourself. We are all very proud of you!!

Zoey

Thanks Zoe. It really does feel like a great weight has been lifted from me. And all these messages of support means so much to me. I just wish I had told somone how I feel years ago. I feel like I may just have a future worth looking forward too. Take care. Love Lillith x

It took me almost twenty years to be able to come out. You are doing just fine.

Z

Good luck Lillith

Telling someone is always hard but it is the right thing to do in a counselling relationship, you can only go forward from here

Tara

Hiya Lillith,
Weldone on taking that big step, hugs x. To answer if you did the right thing, I would first need to know if you feel better for it?

I believe many of us can relate to what you are going through. For me, it was the sheer hell of worrying about ridicule and persecution from everyone who knows me. In my experince that was a fear that I created myself and I hope you will learn similar experiences. Other things I have learnt is that it is ok to be just who I am and if anyone has a problem with who I am, its not me who has the problem! I quite like who I am

All the best for the future.
Love
Penny
x

Thanks Tara and Penny.i'm definately feeling better about myself. I'm even looking forward to my next session. Iam having the same fears as you had Penny but I'm trying not to dwell on those at the moment. Just trying to take things one step at a time. Take care love Lillith