As I see my life unfolding before me I ask myself a question which I often contemplate over.

I have a male friend who is a heterosexual male and I realise, although he is very tolerant, open minded and accepting, at some point I need to move on from being a transsexual if we are to enjoy a successful relationship together as a heterosexual couple.

I've had lots of lifes difficulties in coping with who I am as I am sure many transsexuals can relate to.

I'll never deny how I've grown up as it makes me who I am.

The point I am making, surely at some point, my life will not be "as a transsexual" but as an ordinary woman and being a transsexual wont even play a part. I wonder if in future I will be able to reflect back on all of this as just a chapter in my life and it is what it is and not give it a second thought.

Does that make sense? What are your thoughts on this.

Love Penny x

 Penny, I spent years trying to educate people on us . Meanwhile , others as well as we , ourselves try and put our perceived selves into "Neat little boxes . I also refer to them as Closets ! look, if you love someone , be with them and give it you're all ! Forget former Genitalia . The brain still makes us function as live beings , not what you use for bedroom fun or going to the restroom . Now get out there , be who you have so longed to be !!!!!!!!!! ellen

Hi Ellen, Reading your answer maybe I didnt explain myself sufficiently. What I meant was that as I seem to have found someone who accepts me for me maybe I need to start enjoying my life as an ordinary woman instead of dwelling on the fact that I am a transsexual. Who knows what the future holds but I can see a posibility that if I dont move on from being a transsexual and instead be the woman I am it could get a little tiring for my partner. If you see what I mean?

Im sure I will talk about being trans as much as I need to but there is life beyond that, to which I am looking forward to.

I realise that being "Transsexual" is just another label I have seemed to got hung up on. I am just Penny, the person I am and always will be, regardless of how I or others attempt to label me.

xxx

Hi Penny,

Great to hear you've found a guy who'se for you. I don't think you could ever forget being transexuall after becoming a real woman, It's bound to have been such a big part of your life.

Hiya Janis,

This guy is making me very happy. However, it has occurred to me how our relationship might develop and how that might be affected if im stuck dwelling over the fact i have a transgendered past, for want of a better expression.

I guess, to put these concerns of mine to bed is to answer them with, he will either accept me for who I am and all the difficulties of life, baggage, I have or he wont. And so far he has listened to me rattle on with the difficulties of being transgendered and he hasnt run off yet lol.

hugs

Penny

x

at some stage of living a completely female life the idea that you are transsexual will seem strange and annoying and you will realise you are just an ordinary woman with a past best forgotten...and TS chatrooms will lose their appeal except just to keep a check on a few friends

Penny Wenny said:

I realise that being "Transsexual" is just another label I have seemed to got hung up on. I am just Penny, the person I am and always will be, regardless of how I or others attempt to label me.

xxx

Which is how I see it. Be happy being 'Penny the person' because that's who you are. Whilst being transgendered [I really don't like the term 'transexual'] I don't feel I have any baggage whatsoever. My past doesn't bother me and I can look back and see the clues that have led me to where I currently am and where I am going. It might have helped that my body started changing of it's own accord long before pharmaceutical assistance. All I can say is that everyone who knows me has been completely understanding and supportive. The greatest of those are natal women. I'm sure you must have a couple of good girlfriends, if not you need to acquire them! I don't know why, but being widely accepted as a woman by women is more important than what a man thinks. I suspect it boosts your confidence greatly. And it's surprising what you learn ...

Best wishes hunni.

Rae

As far as heterosexual males are concerned, there is a big, obvious difference between a pre-op transsexual and a woman. Even after SRS there will be plenty of guys who know about your past who just would not "go there", probably for fear of what their mates would say. If you can find a bloke who sees you totally as a woman before the op, he would have to be VERY understanding if you wanted to take things further with him.

I know you haven't mentioned sex, and this is probably not what you are getting at, Penny, but SRS has helped me to move on generally, and allowed me to live as a woman. It puts you on an equal footing with natal females, and so stops you from feeling that you are TS. There will always be those who still see you as somewhere in between the sexes, but that there is their issue, not yours.

Like you, I don't deny my past, but yes, given time, you will stop harping on about transgender issues. The only time I mention the subject is when I am here, which is often, but I quite like it here! Transgenderism is never discussed in my "real life".

xx

This is probably my last post for a while because I am soon leaving my daughters to return to the bat cave. Thanks for all your comments and support on this! I really appreciate it.

Finding someone special in my life was totally unexpected and completely unchartered teritory for me. I suppose, as Lucy described, if I was post-op I would of assumed my female role in the relationship with ease. However, no one is more aware that I am not post-op than me and thats probably why Im so concerned at the moment. The guy seems really understanding, accepting and hasnt made any sexual advance what so ever which is so nice and I guess why I find him so refreshing.

Rae, I have plenty of natal female friends and you are so right that they are very supporting and I have learnt so much from them. Im quite comfortable with myself but I am kinda perplexed why some guy would be interested in me. I suppose I have told him all about my transgenderism in an attempt to put him off maybe as Im still in a bit of shock lol. I supose the whole nature of this thread is for me to resolve my concerns about being fair and not going on too much about being transgendered if that makes sense.But Im sure, as I have begun to learn, he is the type of chap to allow me to go on about my issues as much as I need to which I think is excellent, but still, I am also aware that it could get tiresome.

What I have learnt from these new experiences is that being transgendered and at what ever stage I am at isnt the important bit. I have learnt that what is important is that it is more important to have someone who cares for me and who will support me through whatever I will face in life to which I am also able to offer back that same level of support.

Its totally boosted my confidence and hapiness. About time I had something nice happen.

I will continue to do the best I can and see how things develop.

Much love to everyone.

Penny xxx

not sure when I will pop on again xxx.

Penny, your post is absolutely spot on. Sounds like you have a great guy, just take it one day at a time. I suspect your also beginning to see the guy from the girls perspective which is a very different one. Good luck and hugs to you hunni, hope you're back online soon! xx

penny, you hit the nail etc when you realised that the inner you is always going to be there. The most important thing i think is to embrace the past as that cant change.

I personally tried to destroy every part of my bloke life and get really angry whebn friends that have known me all my life still called me mate or jules, and that can start to tear you up did me.

At the end of the day the past is done live for the future but rember your roots i guess, the letter i wrote my mum on tell em day omg lol had a bit that said i was alays her baby body and soul, and i think that made her realise she wasnt losing the son balone she wasnt losing anything.

As with us we get to live our lives the way its meant to be, to keep your past a secret or ''lets not go there again'' is a mistake we are who we are and when it comes to sharing you life with someone all youy can ask for is understanding then things can go on...

hope you get the understanding you deserve hun love and hugs sabini xx

Penny,

The way to the future is through both the past ..and the present. A flower can not continue to grow if you cut out the bottom part of the plant.

I do not consider myself as transgendered anymore - like I did before. I found that labelling myself as transgendered was a way of dealing with my fear of the future...sort of like being in a swimming pool and staying close to the edge ...for fear of drowning. Once you accept your present life, you will begin to grow in that life.

Sabini, I am sure that all of us have good memories from when we were in the wilderness. Great things happened to us while during the "Guy Phase" of our lives and we should never "throw the baby out with the bathwater".

 I suffered a very serious "post-partum" after SRS (plus I nearly died from complications) and counselling helped me realize that all of our experiences in life are precious.

Doanna

"The vagabond who's rapping at your door
Is standing in the clothes that you once wore."

I have been out with lots of guy who never knew, they didn't ask, I didn't tell and after I went down on them they didn't care.

My relationship with my SO is more of a lipstick lesbian relationship, and she seems to be satisified. 

So at the end of the day be who who you want to be and the rest will take care of its self. Enjoy!

Jen