About 2 weeks ago, my husband revealed to me that he liked to dress up as a girl, and when he didn't do it he would become extremely depressed. I've always known that my husband has had femine features, occassionally would dress up for fun to be silly, and was drawn more towards women than men but this is why I fell in love with him. My father was very strict and disrespectful towards my mother when I was growing up so when I was looking for a partner I wanted someone who was sensitive and non-threatening; on a side note my father is much better today and has worked on skills to be a better partner to my mother and a better father to his children.

Back to the subject here though, I never knew that my husband needed to go to this extent to be happy. The way that he put it is that he likes to be half women and half a man. He's attracted to women though and is no way attracted to men. But then there are sometimes where he's expressed where he wished he could just be a woman but he will not do this because he wants me more. This tears me apart though because I feel that I am holding him back from being truly happy. He disagrees with this because he would be a miserable woman without me and it wouldn't be worth it. I've tried to let him express himself by allowing him to go to friend's houses where he can dress up and be himself but I still have a lot of adjusting to do. He now shaves his legs and paints his toe nails. It's been easier though to think that the shaving of his legs though is for swimming to boost his speed in the water, which it does, but that's truly not the reason why he does it.

He has also recently gone to the dollar store to get make-up and leaves it out in the open. I just feel very overwhelmed. Did I marry a man or a woman? My husband and I have been married for 2 years but have been together for 10 years. I almost feel as if he's stealing my role as a woman as dumb as that sounds. Also, I'm attracted to men, not women. I have this odd feeling that this change now makes me bisexual and I'm not. I'm also confused on how this plays into public life and how we will raise our future children. I just really feel my world has been turned upside down. I have meditation to help clear my mind to keep me calm but I don't have any solutions besides just simply changing my thinking habits. But I simply feel that this changes the person I am. I don't want to leave my husband but if this would go towards him needing to dress as a woman all the time to be happy, I don't know if I could hadle that. help.

On the subject title, it's supposed to say at the end "Really need Support from other Wives". It cut out for some reason.

Hi Ahsley,

1st of all thank you for being supportive enough to find this site and post your thoughts. Many wives and Significant others would not take the time or effort. Being a transgendered woman myself, My significant other and I are going throught many of the same discussions. Your message is a reminder to us girls about the emotions, feelings and concerns going on inside of our partners heart and that us special girls need to keep in mind our partners well being. Wishing you peace in whatever you do.

Hugs,

Michelle

That's one thing me and my husband have been doing, lots of talking. We were actually up until 5am last night. We are still working on the boundaries thing but as of right now it works out for me if I don't see it. I don't always mind if he talks about it but there will be times where I get a little overwhelmed with the subject and need him to stop talking about it, which he does respect. I am clearing out an area for him to put his stuff (make-up and nail polish) just so it's not laying around because I'm not quite ready to see all of it. It's hard for me to separte the two identities and what we need is just a healthy balance. I don't like to think of my husband as two different people, and I would rather have him be his alternate self with friends. But I have to go to a b-day party so I will chat will you all later.

Ashley,

You need to let your husband know how you feel - and your fears for the future.

Like any other relationship, both people have to be honest about their feelings with each oither. His "requirements" may change (either way) over time and you will need to address them as/if they change.

You also need to ask yourself - Do I love this person? ... and go from there

Hugs!

Doanna

I agree with the others that it shows what kind of person you truly are by coming here for support.  All I can say is you had the answer in the first paragraph, you love him because of who he is. The same things that make him act towards you the way that he does, are the things that make him NEED to be who he is on the inside.  It's all part of the same picture. It's what makes him the person you love.  I know it's a lot to absorb, I wish you two all the best and hope you find the answers you need.  Maybe a therapist that handles Gender dysphoria could help you sort it out sweetie. Hugs, Briana Lynn

Ashley,

Perhaps you could get your husband to join this site as well. That way, the both of you could get information (and support) regarding the situation the two of you find yourselves in.

I would suggest that each of you have a separate membership and do not share passwords. That way, each of you will be free to independently explore areas on this site that provide the most benefit for you.

In time, the two of you may gain a better understanding of each others needs.

hi!  I just wanted to drop a line and say I am a staight spouse of a person who now defines as a transwoman who just came out a few months ago after us being together for 15+ years.   I am having similar confusing thoughts and trying to negotiation this path as well.  I have no magic words of wisdom.. I wanted to say hi and that you are not alone!

My husband told me about he feel,s when he dresses in womens clothing.That was 11yr,s ago befor we were  married part of me wanted to run and parted of me wanted to stay .Well i stayed and i love him even after 11yrs we still talk about it and how he and i feel . Same times i have alot of questions i want to ask but i don,t know how to .I think we need to meet more people  who are in the same situtation  thank you for reading