Is it just me?

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  • Deep down i know i am transgender have known this for a long time.I am now 45 years old and one thing I have just realised.I have had six relationships with women i have never been one for one night stands these have been long meaningful.

    I could never work out why when they ended i was so devastated it took me such a long time to move on.I got so close to them(did i want to be them?)I dont think i treated them badly if anything i had something to hide i did try hard to be a man.The relationship part of things has been so hard trying again for it all to work out the same.

    Its just the way i am i so need a woman in my life I love all that is female.I have realised i cant take that from another woman i am so sorry to them for trying but i did give a lot back.

    Time for me to stand up and be myself.

    This sounds so selfish but I have so much love to give her,I care so much about her.

    She has been neglected for so many years i need to make it up to her.

    I love you Sam xxxxxxxx

      September 9, 2012 5:07 PM BST
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  • Hi Sam. I've had a few long term relationships with women fall apart in my past (before I started to embrace Jessica) I really tried to be that "man" too. Each had different reasons as to why they ended but I do believe my unresolved inner gender issues were a factor. It really permiates into so much from emotional to sexual relations with your partner. There also was a factor of "idolizing" them for me. For example,I used to love doing their nails for them and helping them get ready. Telling them or choosing which outfits I liked more ect ect. Bear in mind at this stage in my life I was not deeply exploring my transgender self nor my bisexual tendencies. I did admit to my last two girlfriends I liked to cd. At first there was some support but when the nitty gritty aspects over it came into light neither could handle it. It is a lot for an average woman(person) to accept I suppose though I still felt hurt and let down by them at the end. I was and still am such a "Love Will Conquer All" believer. Anyways, after the failings of years of energy and emotional attachments , disappointment finally took hold of me and reevaluating my life became a real necessity. I may not have a lot in my life like I used to but what I do have is mine and to be able to focus on Jessica is now priority number one. I'm so glad you are now focusing inward on her/Sam. If you feel her being neglected definitely explore her and get in touch!! Here is to new beginnings for you !! And no it isn't just you!! ^_^ Hugs... Jessica

    Jessica Nova
    This post was edited by Jessica Nova at September 12, 2012 7:49 AM BST
      September 12, 2012 7:43 AM BST
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  • Thank you Jessica lots of change ahead of me its good to know i don't face it totally alone. All i have to do is ask and advice is never far away.xxx
      September 12, 2012 8:50 AM BST
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  • Isn't GS great in that regards?! So many amazing lovely people here who won't judge and do their best to help and listen. It sure has helped me. I'm always here to talk with too if you ever need an ear. xxx
    Jessica Nova
      September 13, 2012 5:24 AM BST
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  • two quotes come to mind. 1) "The vagabond who's rapping at your door, Is standing in the clothes that you once wore." Bob Dylan (It's all over now Baby Blue) and, 2) "To thine own self be true" William Shakespere (Hamlet act 1 scene 3)...LOL

    <p>Doanna Highland</p>
    This post was edited by Doanna Highland at September 13, 2012 12:03 PM BST
      September 13, 2012 12:01 PM BST
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  • Gs is so great so many lovely people.
    I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability. Mr wild
      September 13, 2012 6:37 PM BST
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