Well, I've just sent my parents an email about me and Em and what's happening with Em's transition. It's so scary I can hardly breathe. Quite high levels of anxiety right now!
So far, the reactions have been good. I am hoping my positive message will have the desired effect with my folks too...

Going to hide behind the sofa now.... Wish me luck ladies!

Elle xx

Don't go and hide Elle, be proud of your support for Em. 

Your parents might be hurt or angered, but at the end of the day it doesn't really affect them.  Far better for them to be slightly off for a week or so rather than Em to have to suffer severe depression for the rest of her life (or worse) trying to deal with the internal conflict which would have raged inside her forever if she hadn't decided to do something about it.

I do hope that they are understanding though - surely they must be to have brought up such a wonderful woman as yourself.

Carol xx

Thanks Carol. It wasnt real hiding, it was more a sort of 'brace' position... !
But we have worked hard to maintain a very positive stance on things since we got back from Sparkle. Then, people just react in the same way. I wish I'd seen the benefit of positive thinking years ago! My usual pessimism is getting a run for its money!!

Really looking forward to meeting you in Torquay!!

Xxx

Congrats Elle, that had to be very hard.  I hope it all goes well. That is the one step that we fear the most, and honestly, the reason we waited so long with Austin.  We were afraid he would tell them for us : (  You were very brave.  Let us know how things progress.

Well Briana, I've only sent them an email so far.. Haven't spoken to them and that'll be tough. We thought it'd be best to mail them first, give them time to read and digest... Then go and visit.. I deliberately used positive and happy references as much as I could. I hope it works... Glad things worked out with Austin. He sounds like a good kid! Xx

Wow, Briana, Carol, everyone...
I cannot believe how brilliant my folks are. Been stressing about actually talking to them following my email.. But I was determined to just be matter of fact, business as usual and they are fine. Of course, they asked questions and were shocked but I guess because I was ok, they are ok. They are even going to meet Em tomorrow. Mum says, as long as she gets a hug as usual, they may as well meet Em sooner rather than later.
How fab are my folks!!!
And how much nervous energy have I expended over the weekend?.
I guess the key lesson is... Keep it positive, make it natural and normal (hate that term but I hope you all understand what I mean) ... Then it is ok for everyone else.
Xxxxxx
Xxxxxxx

I have to add something here, and I hope it will be a help for others. Firstly, like so many of us, we Elle and I have extended countless amounts of emotional energy in trying to second-guess outcomes. So often, the reality is better than the perception- as it was so wonderfully with Elle's parents, with whom I have always enjoyed a great relationship. I am so relieved and happy for Elle, as the most important people in her life are still supporting her, and extending that wonderful generosity to me too!

Thank you Carol and Bri for your messages. Now, I am going to bed thinking " what is an appropriate outfit to meet my in- laws for the "first" time"? ". Xx

When I came out to my family at 30 years old, NOBODY was surprised that I was transgendered, they were only surprised at how GOOD I looked doing it.  My sister said "I always thought of you as the big sister I never had, now I realize I had".  My mom said "Thank God, at least you are buying your OWN CLOTHES now!" (She knew I was taking hers, and even tried to covertly know which ones I could have).  My brother said "Well, I never really thought of you as a brother, but it's easy to see you as a sister".  My dad was the only one who struggled.  His reaction was "I just would hate to see you get hurt".  He was also a bit transgendered.  According to a personality test he took in college, he was 75% female (can you guess why he might have told me about this - numerous times between age 8 and age 25?), and he really didn't want it "in his face".  I think it was hardest for him because he may have wished, secretly, that he could have done something similar at one time.

 

When my dad was about to die, we knew he only had about a week to live, I came out to visit him.  His first words to me were "I don't know how much longer I will be able to talk to you, but if I only ever gave you one thing, it's the ability to be yourself".  I had packed some shorts, girls shoes, and some spandex tops, as well as some other things, and I had grown out my hair.  So I changed clothes and let Debbie out a little bit.  My father really liked me and wanted to get to know me better.  A few days later, he said "I'm so glad I got a chance to meet the REAL YOU!".  He didn't really come back much after that, and a few days later he passed in his sleep.  

 

After he died, I started to transition.  I had started to transition before, when I was 34, but my ex-wife was about to have the court revoke my visitation rights permanently, so I had to stop.  It nearly killed me 3 times (2 heart attacks and a stroke, more than doubling my weight...).

 

Now, both of my kids love Debbie, and look forward to seeing her.  Who in your life doesn't get the chance to see the REAL YOU!

 

If you could be authentic and have a loving, caring, intimate relationship with people, like you've never had before, would it be worth it?

Thanks for sharing your story Debbie. I'm glad things have worked out for you.
Of course, we are still in very early days but so far my parents how blown me away with their positive attitude and will to try and understand.
Of course, the volumes of nervous energy I used in the days leading up to telling them has left me feeling a little tired. Ha ha!
We are now on holiday and we are having a lovely time. Woe betide anyone who stares at Em! (As the bloke realised yesterday when he realised i was watching him as he rudely turned back to look again.)
So, off to see the sand sculptures today!!!!!!
Hurrah!!!!!!!
Xxxxx

I am so glad that things have worked out you you both Elle and Em.  As you said Emma, sometimes we build these perceived obstacles in out road to becoming who we are into Everest sized mountain ranges in our minds, but when we have moved past them and look back, they turned out to be just mole hills, but that never detracts from the fear we face when facing them in the in the first instance.

Yes, actually meeting them for the first time you will be a nervous wreck Emma, I know I was when I first presented to my own mother as me - but I am sure that they will both be wonderful.

But, nevertheless, congratulations to both of you - onwards and upwards to the next mountain range xxx