Ralationships.

Tags : None
  • This may sound a strange question but in my case there is no answer or seems not to be. Being transexual I am not personally attracted to any gender , is this the same with you or has it been? I have male friends and female friends and very few trans friends and I like being with men or women but only as friends . I do get offers but I always decline them and they are from men (who should have gone to specsavers) or live at the local blind mission hostelSmile.

     

    I am never really lonely , and in a way I do like living alone because I can only argue with myself and I always win , I would prefer that than get in some screwed up relationship with a man who is more interested with what is between my legs than being with me as a person.

    I have tried to figure out who I would like to be with but there is no answer , I am attracted to personality in people more than anything else .

    After more than 8 years alone now I am used to it anyway and being a few weeks away from my 56th birthday it is not on my bucket list.

     

    Has this happened to any of you? I mean since you transitioned , I know the hormones and blockers put a damper on things , but I think my situation is in the way I think because hormones do not stop others from getting into relationships.

     

    Julia .

      September 16, 2013 8:30 PM BST
    0
  • I basically think sex apart its who you fall in love with.    The love, respect, caring live a lot longer than the Sex aspect.   Which reminds me must get some batteries.

    Cristine Jennifer Shye.  B/L.  B/Acc
      September 16, 2013 8:44 PM BST
    0
  • It is most likely just me Crissie. Being in a relationship for 23 years to have them die in my arms makes me put up my defenses I think. I love my friends I even love my family even though they hate me. Winter is coming and the bed gets cold lol , but hey I have an electric blanket.

    After a 2 week stay in hospital a earlier this year I was told I would need someone to be with me for my first 48 hours at home all of the timeSmile I nearly wet my knickers and told them no person would stay with me for 48 hours solid they would go mad! Oh well we will have to put up with you for another 48 hours then won't we? They loved me there really.

     

    Julia x PS:Poundland are good for batteries Smile. x

    This post was edited by Former Member at September 16, 2013 9:27 PM BST
      September 16, 2013 9:18 PM BST
    0
  • Only Crissie can put sex- love- caring- respect and batteries in the same sentence , or is it two?Smile.

      September 17, 2013 9:50 PM BST
    0
  • Julia, I completely understand where you are coming from. Although I am in a relationship at the moment, if it ended, I wouldn't go looking for another. I like my own space too much to share it anymore and I am probably too stuck in my ways to want to change! As long as I have friends to hand, that will be enough. 

    Every woman is beautiful, some show it with their faces, others show it with their hearts.
      September 18, 2013 4:38 PM BST
    0
  • Julia,

    I am disappointed with your statement "Being transexual I am not personally attracted to any gender".

    You seem to generalize that being transsexual is to not be interested in "any gender". I admit that I am a bit apprehensive about getting into a relationship at this time in my life - but that does not mean that being transexual has caused this. Personally, I am only interested in having a relationship with a man and I can't imagine myself with a woman. Some of us like women, some like men, some like both, and some like neither.

    We all have our likes (and dislikes) in this world but we should avoid using our "transexualism" as a crutch (or some kind of excuse) to explain our actions and the set-backs we may encounter in life. We are the gender that we are...and we should expect to have (and deal with) the same set-backs associated with being a "GG".

    As my counselor said right from the beginning "you have to join the club...not just watch from the sidelines"

    <p>Doanna Highland</p>
      September 26, 2013 4:49 AM BST
    0
  • The topic of relationships can be a touchy subject with trans-folk.  

    On one side you have the fact that, for many of us, HRT kills your sex drive. So, seeking a sexual relationship is often not on our priority list. Those of my friends who are sexually active seem to thrive in the kink/bdsm communities. I find it slightly disturbing that many trans-women think that pain, domination/submission and other forms of torture are necessary for them to get physical attention. 

    Another side of the whole dating curve, particularly if your pre-op or non-op, is: who do you date? Dating men can be a risky affair. Not only do you have the possibility that your going to encounter little more than fetishists or 'tranny chasers', but how do you disclose that your trans when dating if you're not using a GLBT source?  Personally, though some of them can be cute, men are not my attraction. I still prefer women. I know I've had plenty of bi and lesbian friends who would more than enjoy the prospects of dating me.

    I've been fortunate enough that my wife and I are still together through all this. It removes that weight of dating and relationships from my mind. We've been together for 18 years now, and our relationship has only gotten stronger with my transition, so I doubt it's going to end soon. I have thought of the possibilities if, I were to lose her somehow, how would I date then... The only solution I've come up with so far is that I probably wouldn't date. I've not been single since I was in my late teens. I'd have no idea how to approach dating or relationships outside of marriage. I look at my other trans sisters and wonder how you all manage, cause I have no idea how I would if I were in your position. 


    Take Care! :hugs:

      October 9, 2013 4:52 AM BST
    0
  • Doanna,

    I started this thread as a human being! I am a woman and the fact that I am transexual is not a crutch .

    You have no need to be disppointed with me I can assure you of that.

    I will never ever deny the fact I was born in a male body as it would make everything I do in my life pointless where as raising awareness concerned . It is the fact that everyone in my area knows I was born a male that makes it hard for me to get close to any man .

    I have to always ask myself why do they want to be with me? There are to many strange men out there that are attracted to Transexuals. If I ever got into a relationship he would have to be very special and very patient.

    Please do not wait untill I am gone again before you respond if you are going to , I have no wish to return here to defend myself.

    Thank You .

    Julia.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Added 30th October 2013 .

     

    Ok Doanna you have attempted to view my profile 16 hours from the time I edited this . I take it you got the message in this thread so please respect my wishes.

    I will say goodbye , Take care .

    Julia .

     

    This post was edited by Former Member at October 30, 2013 8:05 PM GMT
      October 27, 2013 2:13 PM GMT
    0