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Would you do it all again?

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  • It may sound a crazy question but given the choice would you do it all again? . It is something that sometimes goes through my mind , yes it has been hard work and it has been very painfull but , if I had not been me I would not be writing this. There are many things I would not be doing with my life or done , there are many people I would never had met. What would I be doing now instead of typing this? I know what I should be doing but I need a break .

    Life is so strange if you think about it! I have no idea what life would be like if I were not Transexual! Easy? Who knows I don't. I look at so called normal people in town and I rarely see happiness , have you noticed people arguing in public places? It seems normal now to go out and witness other peoples problems being shouted on the street , feckin nutters.

    The one thing I do wish is that I had the internet as a young adult or say 10 or 11 years old , I could have found a lot of answers rather than reading a dictionary to find out what I was , try it! See how long it takes to get to Transexual , but you have to start at the begining , no jumping to T because you have to pretend you have no idea what letter the word  begins with , I had no idea which one it was so I had no choice , then when I found what I was it was then , well I know what I am , now what next? There were no instructions.


    So as I see my life drawing to a close rather than a start or middle , I often look back and focus on the good things being me has brought me , there has been a lot of positive , more so recently , it is just as shame it took so long to find it. Would I like to be Mrs Bored next door? No Miss Julia Ford I think , it is more fun.

    Would I change it? Well its been one hell of a journey , it would have been nice to have the pain removed but looking at what goes on around the world I still count myself lucky . I have to say no , I think I would just do it all again , would you?.


    Take care .


    Julia x

    This post was edited by Former Member at February 3, 2014 9:47 PM GMT
      February 3, 2014 10:46 AM GMT
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  • A conundrum? hindsight is a wonderful thing.   The whole gender dysphoria and Reifensteins syndrome, I could happily have done without.    What would I have become,, probably a soldier, a fathers influence.    Happily married with children?

    Who knows,   Marriages and comitments  don't seem to mean anything.

     

    All in all I followed the path I think I needed to follow, now contented, reasonably happy, who is to say anyone endures

    a permanent utopia regardless of their gender.    Like Julia it has been painful, a few emotional crashes.   Things I should have done and other things I should not have done.

     

    Above all believe that what goes around comes around.

    Cristine Jennifer Shye.  B/L.  B/Acc
      February 3, 2014 4:17 PM GMT
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  • I would most certainly do it all again but maybe with a little more knowlege than I grew up with. Of course had things run a different course I would'nt be who I am today and I'm kinda fond of that person. Everyone faces adversity in life and that builds character, something needed to lead a sucessful life. You can't just walk down easy street and expect to be content. The good as well as the bad things that we experience through life change us and if we take all these things and keep them in proper perspective then there is no goal we can't acheive.


    So I guess I wouldn't change a thing.......:)

      February 3, 2014 4:39 PM GMT
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  • Yes would do all over again. I started crossdressing around fourty two after my divorce and livng by my self. In the early nineteen eighties there was no Internet that the public had acess too. Relied on magazines found at adult book stores to find out about crossdressing. Then I found a magazine from The International Foundation for Gender Education at the adult book store. Subscribed to the magazine for a few years. There was advertizement from Lady Like magazine and I subscribed to that magazine. When first connected to the Internet there was not a lot of information or sites for crossdressing. Eventually found a support page called "Life's A DRAAG (Dressed As A Girl)". The site host was a woman who answered questions from emails send to her. Her husband was a crossdresser and she provided a lot of knowledge about crossdresing. Then Exite.com started clubs. There were quite a few crossdresser clubs on Excite Clubs. So many had photo albums and most who posted on those sites posed all nude frontal photos. I started a Exite Club "TG Cafe". no nudity or sexual content was allowed on TG Cafe club. The Exite Clubs were around for about a year 1999 to 2000. AT & T bought the Exite portal and took down all the clubs, not only the adult content clubs but all clubs. I had about 350 members of TG Cafe before it was taken down in 2000. 


    Phoebe

    This post was edited by Former Member at February 3, 2014 6:53 PM GMT
      February 3, 2014 6:52 PM GMT
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  • I wrote the above in a hurry and my neighbour is coming round in a bit and he goes on like an old woman so this is a hurry response too "Yes I said in a bit not for a bit" Theres a thought! Maybe he is trans-something , as I said he is like and old woman but younger than me.


    What a day! Tommorow is a day of rest because I said so and I can.


    So I am not mad then? I would do it all again but minus the pain please next time. I like being me,  what is even stranger is the people that surround me everyday like me being me too , to many mad people around I guess. We are who we are and I am proud of what I have achieved and the friends I have made along the way.

    I believe in reincarnation so knowing my luck I will come back as me anyway , but in a different generation I hope, a generation where we all just get accepted as who we are , no judgement , no pain , and no hatred. And a Mother who can break my heart with joy not break my bones with hate.


    Thank you all and a big hug .


    Julia x

    This post was edited by Former Member at February 3, 2014 9:55 PM GMT
      February 3, 2014 9:44 PM GMT
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  • I was going to edit the above but I will leave it there , it was written in a hurry but I now have time to explain why I asked the question.

    I never want things to be about myself but then there is a but! At times I use my life as an example , I do it in many places and many situations because now being me is no bad thing , so many people know me now , not quite famous but getting there , well in my home town and county.

    When I posed the question would you do it all again a few things triggered it , just silly little things that made me think. In a shop last week I was talking to some of the girls who work there , then a voice said "Julia I need a word with you" It was the manager , the girls said he is going to tell you off for talking to us and stopping us from working , no I said I have him wrapped round my little finger , he has heard me say that before and he said no you have not , sorry but I have.

    So he wanted a word with me! I went over to see him and he asked , come on then why have you not been in here in the past few weeks? followed by what have I done? . Yes he had actually noticed I had not been in there , it is a big store and thousands of people go through the doors every day "Yet" It was why had I not been in there , I did explain I do have a life and I do use others shops but it kind of hit home that I was missed , not just missed but missed by him and the staff , he had been asking the staff if they had seen me , so why me? It is not just that , similar things happen in other places.

    It is a kind of respect that I have gained , I gained it by being open and honest about myself and just talking to people. Some people may think I am nuts letting everyone know I was born a male but it is a fact and I never deny facts , to me it is like a kind of deception if I tried to hide it and why should I hide it?.

    If I walked around with my head down and not held high my life would be dull and boring. We are all unique and we all have different ways of transitioning but I think I went the right way for me , going stealth would never work for me to many people know now any way so I can't change it if I wished to.

    Life is strange and I do not think I could have gained the respect I have by being someone else or doing it differently , by letting people know about my past has gained me respect. I have been called some names in my life and some very cruel ones but now it has all changed. Now I get called amazing , I do correct them and say no you are the amazing ones for accepting me , there is nothing amazing about me . I have been called an inspiration! Yeah me an inspiration , I have trouble with that one but the best thing I get called is Julia , my choice for a name and is now on every ducument that exists on me and has been for years. So yes I would do it all again if only for the past few years and maybe a few more , if I make it to 60 that will do me after what I was told last year.

    And my Mother did change a few years before she died but the she never said the one word I wanted so much to hear "Sorry". I always use that word when needed but some just cannot say it for some reason , it can solve a lot of pain or problems.

    I have to say again this is not about me , I am the example , it is about what can be achieved or lost the choice is ours .


    Sorry I went on a bit .


    Julia x



      February 4, 2014 1:45 PM GMT
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  • Julia - thanks for all you have said.  It will give some hope to those who are struggling with their situation.

     

    Chrissy and Cristine - you said it all, without actually using the phrase "What does not kill us, makes us stronger".

     

    People like you are many of our members might aspire to.  Hugs!

      February 4, 2014 2:29 PM GMT
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