There have been many sad stories I have read on this website over the past 8 or 9 years.

Responding to a post today got me thinking though. Someone asked why the forums are basically dieing.

This is the saddest line I think I have read relating to the current state of this website.

"Firstly one must ask if its worth making posts"

That one line was written by Cristine Shye (Crissie). A woman who has devoted years of her life making this website what it is today.

The home page is now , and nearly everyday filled with music videos , don't get me wrong I love music but we have a Transgender music forum here. That does not mean songs or music by transgender people it means that transgender people like and enjoy music too , we are normal.

I posted a video there yesterday and I am not saying go and watch it but not one person has done , it makes things kind of pointless really . That forum can be used to post your favourite music and you can also say why it is special to you and talk about it "And it will stay there".

So I guess Crissie is right with that sad line she wrote but , it hurt me as her friend to read it.

Julia .

I still consider myself new here, but I hope the forums aren't dying...

Whoops! I made an arse of myself . Crissie that one line has stuck in my head because I know how much these forums mean to you and this website. Which ever way I read it , it does still hurt me as your friend. These forums mean a lot to me too which was the point of this thread. Most of the posts now have all moved to the home page then just vanish.

 

Maybe it is me? Maybe people fear me  but , if they are honest then they have nothing to fear but if I see things that are dishonest or deceptive then I will give my views whether they like it or not. If it is me stopping others posting here then what do I do? I could allow others to be decieved by mainly new members who join looking for sympathy or whatever motive brings them here. It just saddens me to see these forums just slowing down.

 

Spotting fakes is not that hard but I always try to see why first before I join in. As an example a week before I went into hospital I was asked to help a local trans girl before she visited Charing Cross as she was nervous about going , I said ok I will talk to her and I did. Now comes the hard part , I asked her a few questions about why she was nervous and she seemed ok answering but in the questions I asked her if she noticed someone of the same gender as you in distress would you go to help him? She answered yes! I asked did you understand the question? And she said yes so I repeated it and got the same answer. It is not hard to work out that her mind was not thinking as a female or she would have picked up on my question , does that make her a fake? No it does not , she does have a gender identity disorder but with that one question Charing Cross would doubt her because she will be asked more than one thing like that. They are not trick questions that is one I thought of I have many of them I use. I never told her where she went wrong because she needed to be told by a professional, there were a few more things she said that put doubts in my mind but she was a really nice person with a nice personality. She thanked me and I wished her the best of luck and not to worry they will sort you out , and they will it is not my place to diagnose her , I was just asked to put her mind at ease , silly girl called me an inspiration! I have been called worse though.

 

I dislike the word transgender and most who know me know that I do , it covers to many people in one group. People come here saying they are Transexual like it is something to be proud of and they also think it makes them better than others , it does not , I am no better than the next person just because I am transexual I would like to think we are all equal but have different G.I.D conditions. I know my life would have been easier if I were a Transvestite or Cross dresser (or I think it would have been ) all I know is I am me and I talk to much and I have gone off topic I think.

 

Thanks for your response Crissie you know I love ya , I am now an official arse  xxx Why does this keep changing colour? black is not grey

 

Julia Ford (GS Arse)

This post was edited by Former Member at March 16, 2014 6:31 PM GMT

I too fit several of the "hallmarks" on that list. For one, being online a lot. In today's world tho, that isn't hard. Further, being online doesn't require being ONline (and present) either. In my case I've been online quite a bit for a number of reasons. I feel late to the party so to speak, and have changed dramatically in a short time. I'm really just trying to learn about myself while being kind, caring, friendly and supportive of others. I do my best not to pre-judge others and perhaps take people as they appear too easily at times. I would hope not to get taken, one way or the other.

There is a difference though Madeleine! You do not pretend to be someone you are not. To me you seem very honest and open about who you are , no deception just yourself. Being yourself is the most natural thing in the world.

My part in that thread was about a certain person who came here preaching about being Transexual yet living a lie , that pisses me off. When they have tasted the real world then they can preach about it as far as I am concerned .

 

You just be proud of who you are.

 

Julia x.

Thanks Julia. I'm just dipping my toes in, testing the waters, trying to figure out where I fit. I appreciate the forums and hope that real people continue to be there to make and respond to posts. I don't want to see that die.

Julia - you said  "It is not hard to work out that her mind was not thinking as a female or she would have picked up on my question"  Maybe I'm having a Senior Moment, but I just do not understand what you are getting at.  Can you help me out here?  I'm happy to hear that she thought you an inspiration though - I hope she still feels that way after she reads your post!

Hi Amanda you are having a Senior Moment I thought you were a Psychologist wake up woman .

I will write the question again and highlight the important words in red.

 

If you noticed someone of the same gender as you in distress would you go to help him.

I indirectly reffered to her as him.

I am not insensitive to peoples feelings it would make no difference to her if she read this. I talked to her for about an hour and 30 minutes and not once did she lie to me or attempt to cover anything up or hide anything. I know when someone is not being honest with me. She is unhappy living her life as a male and intends to transition with or without the support of Charing Cross and I have offered her any future support if she ever needs it , but that can now only be as a friend.

 

That is the difference between the internet and knowing a person in real life. Liars on the internet have to make several statements before I can then say that person is a liar. You may have noticed me pick up on that in the forums . I cannot give a toss about outright liars on the internet but I always question the motive behind the lies.

 

In another recent forum post I made when a former member said she was treated like dirt by Charing Cross I doubted that . As a former member she cannot respond but she states they told her when she asked about SRS the response she got was "You do know when you cut it off you cannot put it back on again" I doubt a gender specialist would say that to anyone even more so on a first appointment.

 

Take care and Wake up Woman.

 

Julia.

This post was edited by Former Member at March 19, 2014 10:21 PM GMT

Wide awake now,Julia!!

A few thoughts come to mind having read through this...

I think I understood your question Julia:
"If you noticed someone of the same gender as you in distress would you go to help him."
Nonetheless, how does the answer to that question necessarily tell you all that much? Perhaps it really just needs to be in context. I think it depends on several things, including one's interpretation of your understanding of where they are. There's plenty of potential for simple, honest misunderstandings. What if one were to answer based on their physical gender rather than how they feel inside?

Those who know a little about me know that letting myself really explore my gender identity in depth is very new. Exploration and discovery is what it's all about for me right now. I'm not sure how I would have answered the question but may have sought clarification first.

I will absolutely not diminish the challenges one faces as a transexual. In some respects tho, I think I'd find life easier if I knew for sure that I was one. Right now I feel somewhat stuck in the middle, but if I knew, really knew that I was transexual and wanted to transition then I could be more confident in myself and move ahead. Personally, I don't think I like it in the middle.

Hi Madeleine.

I will explain! The girl was nervous about attending her first appointment at Charing Cross. I was just asked to talk to her to calm her down. Charing Cross is a Gender Identity Clinic in London. It is their job to get into peoples heads , reason? Because they have to be sure the person they are "Caring for" is not suffering from anything else such as bi-polar disorder that has gone undiagnosed.

The way the gender specialists do this is done by talking to the person and also watching the person but , most of all "Listening" to the person , that includes answers to questions. Not the question I asked but some do indirectly reffer to the person as the opposite gender they believe to be not the one they were born as.

The reason behind having to do this and be 100% sure. Once hormones are priscribed and been taken for a certian period of time the effects of those hormones cannot be reversed .

I asked that question to 6 genetic females and everyone of them picked me up on the him part , one said are you calling me a man you bitch? (she was a friend and still is).

Females are very sensitive to their gender if they are feminine.

I understand you saying that you feel lost , I have been more than lost in my past but never doubted my gender.

I would never patronise you and say I know how you feel because that is not possible! I only know how I feel and can only relate to others feelings not actually feel them.

I hope that helps explain.

Take care , Julia x.

EDIT: I need sleep I keep smelling thongs wrong!! Or should that read spelling things wrong?

This post was edited by Former Member at March 21, 2014 3:57 PM GMT

Madeleine! You say you would find life easier if you knew for sure. I am going to put a link to a test here for you or anyone to try. It is a test. If and when you take this test then do it with a clear mind and when you are thinking straight.

This is not to diagnose you as being Transexual.

All it will do is give you an idea of your gender identity.

http://transsexual.org/cogiati_english.html

Remember clear mind and again it is not to diagnose you.

EDIT: I could if you would prefer send you 10 yes or no questions that I will create based on my own experience.

Take care , Julia x

This post was edited by Former Member at March 21, 2014 11:32 PM GMT