Well it is a stupid question so why am I asking it?. I posted a reply in a topic that mentions a website called TvChix (not a nice place).

A question asked on that site often is are you convincing?. One man had an unhealthy obsession with me and wanted to meet me. Knowing the likely response I was going to get I said ok I will meet you for lunch at the New Wolsey Theatre. He replied are you convincing? So I replied who do you want me to convince and why? He replied well i do not want to be seen in public with someone who looks like a man dressed as a woman. I had to explain I am not a man I even have pieces of paper to prove it. I still got the same response are you convincing as a woman though? I replied who the f*ck do you want me to convince? . He responded everyone because i can't meet you if others think you are a man. Now he is really pissing me off and I told him he was. But i want to meet you can't we meet in private? Thats it I have had enough now I blocked him.

Casting my mind back to the start of my transition I first attended a local gender specialist before being refferred to Charing Cross. I received a copy of a letter sent to my doctor . A few lines said . I am discharging Julia and referring her to Charing Cross. She is confident and convincing in her gender role and i no longer need to see her here.

But I was not trying to convince anyone of being anyone different than myself. I was just being myself so I guess the specialist who referred me to Charing Cross did not need convincing that I am who I am.

Strange world we live in when we have to convince others that we are who we are but in my case I did not even try or have to. To me being yourself is the most natural thing in the world! And guess what? I am convinced of that .

Take care .

Julia .

This post was edited by Former Member at March 20, 2014 11:37 PM GMT

Handy if you are breast feeding triplets Crissie but a bugger to find a bra Thanks for the tit tit tit title change Whoops I got a stutter xx

Are you convincing? Do you pass? How passable are you? Cause you know, I really wanna have sex with you but I'm ashamed to be seen with you. So let's meet in private somewhere where no one will ever see us.

Are you kidding me? Yes, we are all sex crazed transgendered nymphos and will meet you anywhere, anyway, anytime. Ya. Right. I know that may work for some, but I most certainly will never be one of them.

Great post Julia. You put into words how I feel, but never really thought I could explain. We are who we are.  I am read by everyone I come into contact with, but so what.  I am who I am and I try to come across like I belong whereever I happen to be.  I still have an off day now and then, but less frequently as time passes.  Most people treat me well.  It's the people like the man in your post that perpetuate the sigma with us.  We're just people that want to live normal lives. Confident, that says it all, it's what we should strive for first and foremost. Great post.

Thank you Briana. I am not very good at accepting compliments but I am going to in this case! Reason? There are many people on this website who I admire and they are unaware of that. I have admired you for who you are and your input to this website for some time now. There are also some people on this website who irritate me! They get the opposite as you may have noticed.

Be very proud of who you are Briana , to me you have earned that and also my deepest respect. I am pleased I managed to put it into words the way you feel! Its a good feeling isn't it?.

 

Take care , Julia x.

 

Madeleleine!

 

I know only a few of the difficulties you have faced and do face. You are honest and open about who you are and you know I admire that quality you have. You are you and there is no escape from that but , you are not looking for escape , you are looking for acceptance that you believe you will never find , one day girl you will find it because it is there. It may be a few years away but your day will come. Your first step was coming here and you have my greatest respect too.

Do you pass? Well you passed my test No I would never test you! I meant I know you are genuine and have not come here looking for sympathy , as others do with their pathetic reasons mainly to just gain attention.

 

Chat soon , Julia x

This post was edited by Former Member at March 21, 2014 4:01 PM GMT

Cristine, Shye (GS Admin) said:Well??? About the only time men don't want to be the centre of attention, or stared at.  how about this girl?  
 
I have seen that firl in the original Total Recall film.
 
I don't beleive that I will be convincing but I will be myself and not try to be anything else.

Thanks very much Julia : )

I'd love to experience what being accepted and desired as a woman feels like, but I still doubt very much it will ever happen.
This post was edited by M G at March 21, 2014 3:49 PM GMT

Madeleine! That is being negative I am going to change you if it takes me a year Next week I will see if a friend of mine will pose with me in a photo. She is a genetic female and 20 years younger than me but her daughter says I look younger than her mother (my friend was not pleased with her daughter) . I stand a tall proud 6ft 1 inches in my heels , the friend stands a good 3 inches taller than me in her flats , she has muscles too and guess what? She is beautiful in my eyes . Is she accepted as a female? Of course she is she was born a female .

 

Take care , julia x

Negative? Maybe. Realistic? Definitely
Thanks very much though.
This post was edited by M G at March 21, 2014 4:37 PM GMT

Madeleine.

You said: Realistic? DefinitelyPlease stop thinking that way , think positive thoughts they will do you more favours.

 

Julia x

This post was edited by Former Member at March 28, 2014 12:30 PM GMT

Am I convincing, not a chance.  Do I pass?  Not of God's green earth.  Does it bother me?  Are you Kidding?  I used to feel as though spot lights were on me wherever I went.  Now, wherever I go, I own that space.  I am me and am proud that I am a transgender female. 

 

Pretty much, my philosophy is that I am as just as good as any  one in my presence, maybe better, so just don't bother me.  Sounds a little hostile, but I'm not.  I'm just confident.

 

Bobbi

This post was edited by Bobbi gruetter at March 22, 2014 6:52 AM GMT

Bobbie it is good you are proud but , a couple of things. This earth belongs to no God and it is not very green. You maybe better than others in your presence??? I disagree. You are no better , how can you even compare yourself to others you know nothing of? The person next to you could have a big smile on their face and had a life of hell , does that make them better? No , which ever way you look at it we can only be equal I am no better than anyone else.

Julia .

julia ford said:

Madeleine this is what I do with negativity and it worked I hope , well it seems it did. I can re-post the images if you wish me to. They are a bit of a shock though.

http://gendersociety.com/forums/topic/9572/can-anyone-esle-relate

You said: Realistic? DefinitelyPlease stop thinking that way , think positive thoughts they will do you more favours.

 

Julia x

 I've got some reading to do  : )

This post was edited by M G at March 22, 2014 1:41 PM GMT

Cristine, Shye (GS Admin) said:

On a serious note, I had sex with a lot of older men, when I was younger, just to prove I was convincing and to gain confidence about myself,   Not deluded that they were not closet homosexuals.    But I had a a need to feel loved and desirable.

I understand the need to feel loved and desired. We all find our own ways to it. It doesnt make one way any better than another, but I couldn't do that. Not just because it isn't for me, but because no man would have me anyway. Well some might, but not the kind of guys I would ever date I don't think. (Sorry if that sounds too negative Julia, I'm just trying to be real). Although I've changed quite a bit in a relatively short time, I still have a long way to go on my journey of discovering where this may take me. I really need to develop and become comfortable with the girl inside.

You do not have to say sorry to me Madeleine. One thing we should never do is judge others on their past. I try my best not to judge anyone , with the exception of liars whom , I have no time for (well I do catch them out) if their motives are to deceive others they should Beware of Julia . Myself and liars do not get on to well , the evidence is all over this website .

 

Edit: I will reprhrase that . A person can have a past that to some may seem bad or wrong . Never judge that person on their past because , the reasons are not known and that person can be , the most wonderful person you may ever meet due to that past. I happens in reverse too, you may know a person who has had a fantastic past but is now a nothing to others. My past has made me who I am today , my past is not good but my present is. I have found throughout my life that others who suffered a bad child hood and early adult hood turn out to be the nicest people around.

 

Julia

This post was edited by Former Member at March 22, 2014 7:35 PM GMT

Did it seem I was judging anyone Julia? I hope not, because I certainly wasn't  : )

If that is how my post was taken, I'm surprised and upset, but would sincerely apologize.

This post was edited by M G at March 22, 2014 7:51 PM GMT

No Madeleine that is why I rephrased it. People will look at things and judge them , it is what people do , I get judged on here and have been a lot in the past but , they do not know me. You are one of the last people I would want to upset you have enough to deal with now and you are a friend. It was just a statement aimed at no person I can think of in this topic.

 

Have a hug from me via this message. , Julia.

Madeleine-

 

I want to offer you some encouragement from someone who has been doing our thing for a long time. After a great deal of thought, I concluded that I wanted to look, feel and think like a female. Initially, I was six feet tall and 215 pounds with an athletic man's body. Then I started to work on everything. Please understand that all aspects of this goes slowly. But you can do it, because you are basically female and it is a course of natural evolution. I have shaped my figure by losing weight to 169 pounds and used a corset with a belt so that my waist size is 28 inches.  I studied how to use make-up, improved my skin quality and to speak with a more feminine voice. I studied other women to see how to dress elegantly, casually, glamorously and conservatively.  I thought a lot about acceptance and decided that it is my life and I will live it on my terms. My goal is just be be the female that I want to be. I am not there yet, but I can see a glowing light on the horizon, and I am still working for that goal.

 

There is no reason not to be optimistic about yourself and your future, but realize that effort and though are required.  The journey and the sheer exploration are exciting and your future will be filled with such joy that you could never imagine as a man.  Be Peaceful and enjoy this life.

 

Jacqueline

Julia: no worries! It's clear to me that we have simply misunderstood each other.

I hope we can chat soon. There's no need for either of us to be upset.

I'd say more now but am too sleepy to think straight, I just noticed your post and your private message to me and had to reply.

Jacqueline: thanks! hope we chat sometime too.

I really appreciate your friendship ladies.

Hugz,

Madeleine  : )

 

This post was edited by M G at March 23, 2014 7:21 AM GMT

Hi Madeleine.

I can see why you may have thought that! Because I started the post with "You do not have to say sorry to me" That is because there was nothing for you to apologise to me about "end of". I then continued the post which was just a statement , to all , and aimed at no particular individual.

I never set out to upset or offend people on this website. I would never deliberately hurt members who are here for good reason. I have put a few members in their place but I can clearly see I am not hurting them. To me a friend on this website is someone I trust , I have many people I admire on this website but are not on my friends list but some would be welcome , but as it says on my profile "I do not collect friends in a glass of hearts" as the song goes.

My presence on this website always seems to be volatile. In the past Crissie has described me as "Misunderstood" and I am at times , I have thought of changing my name in the past to , Miss Understood but , I am to proud of my name .

If you or "anyone" on this website ever thinks I have posted something that seems aimed at them then please let me know , that way I can explain how it has become misunderstood.

I posted this to another member telling her every word applies to her

http://youtu.be/ExNx4m4OXbE It also applies to you and many others too.

I hope that clears things up for anyone reading this .

Hugz back to you , Julia x

This post was edited by Former Member at March 23, 2014 11:45 AM GMT

thanks Julia, that's sweet  : )

Thats okay Madeleine . I think this topic has gone way off course! If we take a look at the top then the bottom that is clear to see.

I need to catch up on my studies I am behind with so , I will not be on here much today but , I am going to start a topic later which I think should give us all a good reason to post something on GS.

I have to go , take care , Julia

I don't know if I am convincing or not. I just try to be the nicest person that others can appreciate and accept as just me.   My friends, neighbors and most of my family accept me for me.  I've actually never asked them if I am convincing, and the subject never has come up.    Michelle

Michelle has got the topic back on course, thanks Michelle : )

Julia said:

"Strange world we live in when we have to convince others that we are who we are but in my case I did not even try or have to. To me being yourself is the most natural thing in the world! And guess what? I am convinced of that."

I'm still trying to figure out who I am. So I kinda need to convince myself. It's pretty confusing. If I try to be myself, it may be the most natural thing in the world but it doesn't feel that way. If I try to be the girl on the inside who wants to express herself, I'm still just a very tall and awkard guy in a dress, and I can't escape that. How can I expect others to accept me when I can't accept myself? Let's say that I do accept myself...I still can't expect others to when I can't be on the outside what I feel on the inside. I'd love to be as beautiful as so many of the other girls on this site, but that will never happen. I'd love to know what it feels like to have a man want me as a female, not gonna happen. Reality bites. Being convincing, or "passable" as I prefer to call it is very important to me, but it's something I can't imagine ever having. I can't even hope to "blend", let alone pass.

This post was edited by M G at March 23, 2014 5:19 PM GMT

Hey! Back on track. Thanks for that Crissie and Michelle.

Madeleine It is not really about beauty I get by fine and I am far from beautiful but I am happy. I have no idea if where you live is mass populated but , if you live in an area where there are a lot of people then do this. Take a seat somewhere and just watch the people go by , study them. If you take notice they walk around like zombies most of the time , they are to concerned with their own lives to be concerned about yours. I know it is easy for me and others to say things like this but it is true. Am I convincing? Again I say who do I have to convince? Do I pass? Yes thousands of people allmost every day.

You came to this website for support and you will get it , I will support you but I cannot tell you how to live your life , it is just that "Your life". I don't like seeing others unhappy and the reason for that is , because I have been there. That is why when someone joins this website and pretends to be Trans I jump on them very fast. Who in their right mind would want to pretend to be going through what you and others here do? I do not think it is funny.

 

I have also had the same experience as the girl Crissie has mentioned but I did not allow it to go as far , it went no further than him wanting it to happen. A man wanted to shower me with gifts and treat me like the queen! Big house ect . I never did meet him but , after about 3 months of him doing my head in on a website out of the blue came this. "This is your last chance , if you have the op i don't want to know you" Brilliant!!! Because I never wanted to know him anyway and I did not need his gifts or big house. You should listen to that song by Mariah Carey over and over it works wonders  "you don't have to be affraid of what you are" just that one line is so true and the rest aswell.

Crissie and myself have not had it easy , we have known each other for years now and we kind of relate to each other, the number 12 sticks out for both of us. That was the age I revealed my gender out loud in school. That was also the day my education ended. Now at 56 years old I am back in college getting the education that was taken from me in such a cruel way. "I yes me" am most likely the most popular one in my class , I talk the most and get on with everyone. They are all aware I am Transexual I cannot hide it in this town of 150,000 and have no wish to. I have faced Transphobia and threats on my life by 2 people in this town , yes it was scary at the time but , and here is the big but , they now fear me. They know I will have them arrested if they say one word against my gender. The one who made threats to kill me with a hammer in his hand in his own demented way paid me a compliment! It came out in court he only attacks females.

 

Its been a long day and I even stopped to take a couple of new pics of myself , I will now crop them and upload them. As I said far from beautiful , 56 years old very tired and still 23 pounds underweight, and in desperate need of my hair being styled.

We are all in the same boat , it is not sinking , for you its a bit rocky right now , and that is not said in a patronising way! I mean it in a way as things can get better and with will power will do.

 

Take care , Julia

This post was edited by Former Member at March 23, 2014 11:29 PM GMT

sorry

This post was edited by karla one pacheco at March 24, 2014 9:15 AM GMT

karla one pacheco said:

Well My Dear:Julia Ford.Is terrible to go to tru thing's like that.    But Before you do any move in Life to have to very very carefull,before you or anyone else get's hurt.

Luky Me I never have any encounter like that and if that ever happen to me I be shure to Kill that person,so like that he will be convince who I'm.  love Karla One.

Karla! If you murder another person you will spend the rest of your life in prison. The way I went about it sent a clear message out "Do this to me again you will be punished" I had many offers from others to give him a lesson but I declined them.

I will find a file on one of my old PCs and upload a video from it to youtube .It will stay there for 24 hours then I will remove it. I will put the link here . The way I done it gained me more respect than the way you would handle it.

 

Take care , Julia .

Karla! You do not have to be sorry just a little more understanding . I have found the file and uploaded it, It will be removed in 24 hours. From what happened to me back then I am now a walking Advert in this town to say "It is ok to be yourself".

I will say sorry for the sound quality , at the time I did not have the equipment that I have in front of me now to rip things from the BBC Audio. Now I drain the national grid with what is in front of me.

 

I never want anything to be about me. But I do want it to be a lesson to others.

 

http://www.youtube.com/embed/KO8aIi0CqI4

 

 

Take care , Julia. 

This post was edited by Former Member at March 24, 2014 11:07 AM GMT

Thanks Crissie and Julia.

There is so much that can be discussed here within this thread and elsewhere, I hope I can keep up. I know I still have lots of reading to do and sometimes putting my thoughts into words is difficult.

I know that beauty (on the outside) isn't everything, and that who you are on the inside is far more important. My desire to be beautiful or at least somewhat passable and attractive comes not so much from shallow thinking but rather wanting to be accepted, liked, loved, and even desired as female or transgendered female. I really want to experience what that feels like. I "worry" about men because I don't want being transgendered to be a lifetime sentence of loneliness. I do want to be loved, desired, cared for and respected. I need on some level to feel validated.

In sticking with the thread here, "Are you convincing?" my answer is no, I'm not. Not even close, but I hope this explains why wanting to pass is so important to me.

 

 

 

 

 

Michelle: thanks (again) for sharing your outlook

Karla: I realize what you said earlier was likely not to be taken literally and I understand the sentiment behind it, but violence is really never the answer. You probably realize that already, but I'm just saying...

hugz girls, for all of you 

This post was edited by M G at March 26, 2014 8:33 AM GMT

Madeleine Grant said:

Thanks Crissie and Julia.

There is so much that can be discussed here within this thread and elsewhere, I hope I can keep up. I know I still have lots of reading to do and sometimes putting my thoughts into words is difficult.

I know that beauty (on the outside) isn't everything, and that who you are on the inside is far more important. My desire to be beautiful or at least somewhat passable and attractive comes not so much from shallow thinking but rather wanting to be accepted, liked, loved, and even desired as female or transgendered female. I really want to experience what that feels like. I "worry" about men because I don't want being transgendered to be a lifetime sentence of loneliness. I do want to be loved, desired, cared for and respected. I need on some level to feel validated.

In sticking with the thread here, "Are you convincing?" my answer is no, I'm not. Not even close, but I hope this explains why wanting to pass is so important to me.

 

Julia Ford says:

You have put that accross very well Madeleine. I do truly feel for you and I do understand , this world is changing though and only we can change it. No others will.

 

A big hug to you , Julia x

 

 

 

This post was edited by Former Member at March 24, 2014 11:13 AM GMT

Never cared much about passing. Only time I do is when someone else brings it up. Even then I don't care much about whether I'm convincing or not. I just want to be happy. I'm the only one that can make that happen. 

I know for a fact I'm not wise. I don't understand a lot of things but I do know how to be happy. Tell Cass I said hi.......:)

It's hard enough to find someone to love you when you can pass or don't need to as a cisgender person, how does someone who can't pass have a chance? And how can you feel comfortable if no one (in society as a whole) accepts or treats you as you feel you need? Does that not make passing or being convincing important?
This post was edited by M G at March 25, 2014 4:48 PM GMT

Everyone needs something different. I don't necessarily need to be convincing to others because I'm quite convinced that I'm the only one that matters. I'm not looking for love at this time in my life. People seem to be placing a lot of importance on passing or convincing someone they are something other than what they appear to be. If you yourself are convinced about who you are then why would you need to convince someone else? When you tell someone your transgender how do they react? Most of the time your told...."So What". But you know better right? You can see the wheels truning inside their little minds. 

In my experience, how you are treated is a reflection of how you present yourself. You don't have to look like the perfect girl. Not if you project like you are. Suddenly there is nothing wrong with being transgender and folks just go about their business and hardly even know your there. Most people are too busy with their own agenda to even notice you. On the other hand, maybe you want to be noticed. All depends on how you present yourself......;) 

Well, that's all well and good until you realize just how very out of place you look (edit: and by you, I mean me, or anyone else who feels this way). To an extent, people do just go about their own business. Even I, in my very tall and awkward frame, with very limited experience out in public have noticed that. But it can only take me so far. Even "blending" is more than I can hope for, at least I think it is. Even if I came to a decision to transition, I still don't know what I could expect, but doubt even that could overcome being stuck in a frame that is very well over 6 feet tall. I don't want the "OMG, that's a guy!" kind of attention, but there are other types of attention I'd like, a little at least. And some acceptance from people and places that will never give it to me. Passing would fix all that, or at least most of it.

This post was edited by M G at March 26, 2014 2:50 AM GMT

Firstly I need to thank Crissie and Chrissy. There was good reason for me starting this thread. It is that word "Convincing" , a word used on other trans sites a lot. Am I convincing? Again I ask who do I need to convince that I am me? .

Crissies last post above this! She says , Apparently, I am "blessed"(her) . Am I blessed? I suppose I could say I am lucky to be alive. Like Crissie my childhood was hell! The weird one , the boy who thinks he is a girl. EDIT: I have removed two lines . I just realised I said something about my childhood I never talk about or try not to think about . If you read it then please just pretend you never did. 

Madeleine I do not know if you watched that video before I removed it! Am I blessed? Having some crazy man threaten to kill me with a hammer? And the police said he would have used it..

Am I blessed?..... I am 57 this year and I guess I am blessed but , not with being convincing , I really am just plain me.

You can look around loads of Trans sites and see others looking beautiful , problem is , take away the photoshop and images of them in positions where you cannot see their height and body frame and what do you get? "An image of you".

One thing that even bugs me on this website is some saying they are out and proud and banging on about it yet won't show their faces to us. Blurred images or no image or headless ones yet so out and proud! Yeah! And I am Paris Hilton. At least you are honest and that you should be very proud of.

I have said before I do truly feel for you but you are going to have to accept yourself , untill you do that no other person will get the chance to. Please do not think that is easy for me to say because this is very hard for me to say to you as a friend.

Not very many of us have it easy but it does get better. I will never ever deny what I was because it is what I was and what I had to endure that has made me the strong confident person I am today. Crissie is blessed with a heart of gold! Sh*t tends to do that to us. We either make the choice of a life of misery or take our chance to find a life with happiness in it.

I wish you were here sometimes so I could show you how life can be . Chrissy has pointed out it is only you that matters and , others are more concerned about their own agenda to be concerned about yours.

Take care , and please do not think we all have it easy , very few of us do but we make it because we have to.

Hugs , Julia xxx

This post was edited by Former Member at March 28, 2014 12:37 PM GMT

None of us have it easey Julia. What's easy for one person is harder for someone else. We are all blessed with knowing something many will never understand. Their loss. 

A couple weeks ago I was at the south rim of the Grand Canyon in Arizona. What couldn't have been more than a five year old girl made me and told her mum I was a boy. Ya know what Mom said? Yes it is a boy and they walked away. No fussing about it or shame and I smiled. That little girl is going to grow up with something most of us didn't understand when we were that young. 

At one point in my life transgender was a sentence, not any more. I live free and clear of the inhabitions society once held over me and every now and then I look back so i can be sure I still know where I'm going. I gave up convincing myself or anyone else of the gender I feel in my heart. I pass in public because I want to not because of how I look. How I look is not passable by any stretch of the imagination. How I present is certainly plausible. 

It takes time and patience to grow into what your comfortable with and whatever that is please......take comfort in it and just be who you are. I'm convinced I don't pass in public but passing in public is not number one on my list of things to do. Maybe someday it will. For now though.......I'll just enjoy what I have.

Crissie: Why shouldn't you comment any further? I would never suggest that your beauty and "passability" is a blessing that makes whatever you have endured all worthwhile. I don't know all the details of your childhood and they are none of my business, but I would never minimize or make light of another person's experiences. I do understand that your life hasn't been easy. I hope I wasn't and am not misunderstood.  : )

 

Julia: I did not see the video you mentioned. Again, like Crissie, I would never minimize your experiences or anyone else's by suggesting they are blessed and lucky to be as beautiful, passable, confident or whatever as they are. I can't imagine the horror of what you have been through. Who do you need to convince that you are you? No one.

 

Chrissy: Thanks, I think you put this very well: "None of us have it easy Julia. What's easy for one person is harder for someone else. We are all blessed with knowing something many will never understand. Their loss." and "It takes time and patience to grow into what your comfortable with and whatever that is please......take comfort in it and just be who you are. I'm convinced I don't pass in public but passing in public is not number one on my list of things to do. Maybe someday it will. For now though.......I'll just enjoy what I have."

 

As for me, I've had it easy. I won't pretend otherwise. That doesn't mean it's easy now, but would still seem to pale in comparison to many others. As I've said elsewhere what seems to be many times now, it is only very recently that I have allowed myself to really explore my feminine feelings, to try to embrace them instead of suppress them, and to acknowledge the girl inside. The girl inside is new to all this, so I really value the experiences that you ladies can share with me. In many ways I do in fact accept myself (passable or not), but I'm still trying to understand where my feelings come from, where they are going, and who I really am.

 

hugz,

Madeleine

This post was edited by M G at March 26, 2014 12:40 PM GMT

I would like to quote some of this thread at my blog if that's ok with everyone. A lot has been said and what's been said is important whether it's been beaten to death or not. Lemme know ok. Julia, your an author at my blog anyway, your welcome to get this started. Oh and Julia.......You go girl!!!!!!

"A lot has been said and what's been said is important whether it's been beaten to death or not." For many of you ladies, it has been beaten to death, I'm sure. For me it's pretty new and confusing. Thanks for being so patient : )

Suddenly "Dead Horse" came to mind. You know, nobody likes "beating a dead horse". When I checked the lyrics, some of them actually seemed that they could be relevant here...

"Sick of this life
Not that you'd care
I'm not the only one with
whom these feelings I share
Nobody understands,
quite why we're here
We're searchin' for answers
That never appear
But maybe if I looked real hard I'd
I'd see your tryin' too
To understand this life,
That we're all goin' through"

Oh...and one more thing; I don't know if anything I've put in this thread is something you'd like to quote on your blog Chrissy, but I have no issue with that.

Madeleine

This post was edited by M G at March 26, 2014 8:52 AM GMT

Madeleine I don't think this has been beaten to death , there is a lot more to be said as yet. I do think one thing though we should do , is take a pause for some thought. Not pause the topic but reflect on life itself.

Look at it this way as I try my best to look at things from all directions , not just my own.

It is a fact that most genetic females are not comfortable in their own skin "Think about that" If most genetic females are not happy with themselves then it just goes to show how much more difficult it is for us . They have nothing to prove do they? They are what we all aspire to be "Yet" they are not happy with themselves. I have no sympathy for a genetic female who says to me "I would die for a figure like you have" Then followed by you are so lucky! Yeah I am so so lucky to be a genetic fault . I look at the female who says that to me and think to myself , go on a diet if you want a figure like I have! How simple is a diet compared to going through what I and many others do? Very simple just lay off the food a bit .

There will  be some on this website who may tell you to avoid me! If they do then you avoid them "Because I actually care" I care about you and others going through the same. You will not find anyone on this earth who cares as much as Crissie does . I owe her so much but she has asked why? Because years ago I came accross her , and from that day she inspired me. I could not and will never compare myself to her and can never aspire to be like her and , why would I? She is a unique woman , a very unique woman , if I had not come accross her by pure chance then , I think my transitioning would have been far more difficult . More difficult? Cannot imagine that , it was hard enough to start with but it was Crissie that pushed me out of that door when times were hard and never realised it. She will say she done nothing but that is just the way she is. In my opinion and I maybe wrong she did not not mean anything by saying she should not comment anymore , she has a lot to say but she also allows others to have their say too.

Chrissy! Feel free to use anything of use to you about this thread or anything in my life , if it helps just one single person then it is worth it.

I need a walk after yesterday so I am heading into town now. That town will be packed with thousands of people and I will no doubt speak to many of them. Everyday of my life people learn from me , I am that walking advert in the Town of Ipswich to say , I am myself and very proud of it .

You all take care , back later.

Julia xx

This post was edited by Former Member at April 3, 2014 7:11 PM BST

Jodi Picoult, the author, said " “When you're different, sometimes you don't see the millions of people who accept you for what you are. All you notice is the person who doesn't.”

 

I think for all of us on here, transitioning, transitioned or whatever else, there is more than a grain of truth in that.  Probably each one of us has a private anguish, a doubt or a guilt about who we are, or what we are.  The reality is, WE ARE.  And if we are going to have at least a chance of a happy life, it is incumbent on us to honour what we are.

 

Let's face it, there are lots of genetic girls out there who are not society's ideal of what is beautiful or desirable. Many of them too have terrible inner anguish about how they look - trust me on that! It's all very well to say that true beauty is on the inside, but it's great to have a nice package to put it in!  If you don't have, you are still a unique, valuable and valued person, so when the doubts creep in, just remind yourself that the world would be a poore place without you.

 

Value YOU! If others agree, great.  If not, their opinion is of no consequence whatever.

Well I just got back home and found a long pause. Did it make you think?.

That was the Idea of it! When you think about things as I do it is very true. About 90% of my friends are genetic females and not to many of them are happy with themselves. Breasts to small or to big , most say they are overweight , hair is never right . The list goes on and on. So here we are trying our best to be just plain us yet the ones who are correct gender born are not happy with being themselves. Well I have one over on them because I am happy. Not born the correct gender in body yet after a long struggle throughout my life I have found happiness by just being myself.

I would say less than 5% of Transgender girls think they are convincing , it is hard to hide but , as I have already stated I have no wish or need to hide it. It is actually impossible for me to now even if I wanted to because unless I move very far away from here everyone knows now. I have no intention of moving away I like this town , I was born here and there are good people here who respect me . I have very good friends and I am not leaving them behind.

So if most genetic females are not happy in their skins then why should we bother about ours?

That is my thought for the day and it is just that "My thought" Because I think about things . Now my brain hurts

Take care , Julia x

Amanda you could have just waited one little minute That is the time difference between our posts.

 

Julia x