Not very long ago I came upon a trans girl hiding in her own little corner of the internet. I watched her for a while and the things she was posting and being ignored. I was able to find out she was living not far from me , if it could be called living.

I made contact with her and asked if I could help in any way. She said yes (well she bit my hand off) I met her in town and she poured her heart out to me , yes she had problems but they could be cured.

They were not big problems but I suppose to her they were.

She said she wanted to move away because of a bad neighbour. I just told her and who is to say the next one may not be worse? . She also said she was fed up of not being able to get work as a female. I asked around some contacts and found her a part time job. She seemed happy and I thought job well done.

Today I was in town and a strange man with thick facial hair stopped me and said , hi Julia how are you? I looked and thought who the hell is this I have never set eyes on him before. He looked like an Army type wearing army type jacket bottoms and big boots.

He said you do not recognise me do you? I replied no but you seem to know me. He said its ####### (A female name) . I asked why the change? The response was , it is easier to kick the sh*t out of people this way , and I said that solves all of your problems does it?. I asked about the job , he said the girls were ok but the other men gave me a hard time.

I had wasted my time , as soon as he said "other men" I then realised he had not really seen himself as a female , just to check I did say what was the problem with the "other men" he started to explain and I said I have to go.

After what had happened to a friend of mines daughter a few days ago I was really not intersted. He asked can we stay in touch and I ignored him.

I had watched who I thought was a relatively young sad trans girl turn into a happy trans girl , then turn into a happy man.

I guess the only good thing to come out of this was that the NHS will now save some money . As I walked away I thought for just a second why do I bother? But he seemed happy now at least his mind seems to be thinking straight now , so maybe in one way it was worth while. As he said it is easier to beat the sh*t out of people now. As long as that costs the NHS nothing he can get on with his now unconfused life.

This post was edited by Former Member at April 22, 2014 10:20 PM BST

Everyone needs to find their own path Julia. Sounds like you still helped him find his. If he is ultimately happier as a he, so be it. Then again, he may or may not regret it later but there's only so much you can do.
Also, I would think there are times when a TG woman may refer to herself either directly or indirectly as male, simply acknowledging that physically at least, they are. Or they may just be unsure of themselves. It doesn't necessarily mean they aren't sincere in their feminine feelings.
Madeleine : )

Ignore me Madeleine! "I mean that in a nice way" I have just not had a very good week and I did not need that on top of it. I just wished I had never found out at this time.

Take care , Julia x

This post was edited by Former Member at April 22, 2014 11:34 PM BST

I have to say I have learnt not to get involved any more for similar reasons. I'm happy to point people in the right direction if they ask for some help and I will happily listen to their problems if they need a shoulder to cry on, but I keep my distance, always. You really don't know who you are dealing with and what is going on in their head so I believe it is far better for them to find their own way forward than for me to become invovled. Perhaps that's a result of my own path, but if they lack the inner strength and resolve to do that, then it isn't up to me to push them on. They either want to make it happen, or they don't, it's as simple as that. 

 

I have come across a lot of girls following others' paths because they feel they should be doing so, rather than following what they actually want themselves. 

 

If they want help, there are a lot of professionals who get paid a lot of money to assist them, and that's who they should be speaking to.  

 

I'm sorry if that comes across as rather harsh but it's a difficult world we live in as TG, and you have to get used to it very quickly if you want to succeed out there.

I can see how that would be upsetting Julia. You have a very strong and caring spirit. Let's make this week a better one, ok?

Well said Nikki : )
I think there's a place for being more pro-active in helping others, but we must be careful regarding our expectations. And it's not for everyone, we all have our different strengths of course.

It did not upset me Madeleine but it did hurt with what I have had to cope with this last week.

Yes I do care it is my nature. If that ability to care is taken from me then my life would be pointless.

 

This past week has been a very difficult time for me , I am so tired and only just about holding myself together for the sake of a friend.

 

Take care , Julia xx

smile Julia...take the time you need, and then come back : )

Dont give up, If you give up helping people there may come a day when someone really needs help...

and it could be that your help is the very thing that saves their life.

Everything you do is worthwhile, trust me.

They have no idea how lucky they are to recieve the kind of help you gave them.

This post was edited by Amethyst CrystalHeart at April 27, 2014 1:11 AM BST

Amethyst.

The day I give up will be the day I die. The topic was started at a bad time , the person in question has made their choice and that is up to him. I met and helped a female then got kicked by a male . It was just bad timing for me.

 

Take care , Julia .