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Eight old pieces of wood

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  • This was a mistake , it was a very big mistake , it was my mistake

    This post was edited by Former Member at May 10, 2014 11:39 PM BST
      May 8, 2014 11:26 PM BST
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    . This post was edited by M G at May 9, 2014 1:36 AM BST
      May 9, 2014 12:36 AM BST
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  • This was a mistake , a very big mistake , it was my mistake

    This post was edited by Former Member at May 10, 2014 11:41 PM BST
      May 9, 2014 1:00 PM BST
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    Julia,
    Were it not for technical difficulties and the support of some friends here, I'd be gone by now. There is a divisive force here, but it is not religion. I guess the truth does hurt. Please don't be so cynical. Let go of the hate and anger inside, it isn't healthy.
    I believe you have great strength of character and many of the qualities of a great friend. You helped me when I needed it, and even gave me a "big heart" award. I don't doubt you've helped many others and will continue to.
    What a great place the world would be if all knowledge that might be gained from a book was so easily cast aside. I suppose what you are saying is that no ideas warrant any merit if they are not entirely your own. The reason I quoted Mr. Covey (and yes, the quote comes from his "7 habits") was because I see value in his knowledge. Some of his views are very much in line with some of my personal beliefs. I provided the links so that anyone interested could easily look a little closer if they wanted, and perhaps look at the value of it all and make their own assessment.

    I was not patronizing you. My "smile" / "like" and comment which you deleted was communicating (or at least trying to communicate) my support for your opinion, it's value and your willingness to try letting others understand it. One important part of being a true friend is to not assume and assign the worst of intentions behind their words or even actions. All the communication here is over the net, and that makes things harder.

    I never turned my back on you and I never withdrew my hand of friendship. I still offer it now.

    I was asked btw, to edit your post. Personal insults are not helpful, and merely removing a name would not have left it difficult to know who you were referencing.

    As for my other comment, that you effectively "undeleted"....I had wanted to say more, but couldn't at the time. I also recognized not all things were clear.

    Whether I stay or whether I go, and if I stay then in what capacity remains to be seen.

    Either way, many here see that I am genuine, I just hope you can too.



    Here's what I posted on the other discussion...
    When we all realize that we all have far more in common than we'll ever have that's different, discussions like this get a lot easier. It still isn't easy though, especially for topics like this. As I've quoted before: "Seek first to understand, then to be understood" - Stephen Covey (have a look at his site):
    https://www.stephencovey.com/7habits/7habits-habit5.php
    or the Wikipedia entry:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Seven_Habits_of_Highly_Effective_People
    If you are at all interested in this forum topic and want to post, please be willing to put an honest effort into understanding others point of view, especially those who may seem (or in fact are) most different from yours. It is my personal belief that religion and transgender can mix. I see no reason why trans people should be excluded from it any more than they should be excluded from anything else in life. So yes, I believe it does belong here, for those who want it. That said, I also know how emotionally charged up and volatile the mere mention of faith or religion can be, and so I support the idea of making it easy to find here for those who seek it, but hard to find by accident for those who don't. There are many in religious communities who seek to push their views on others, and I have no tolerance for that. But there are also many who have no interest in being so "in your face" about it either. Some people have very negative views on religion. I can understand and respect that. It can bring about thoughts of rejection, hurt and terrible pain and suffering. Organized religion has one hell of a lot to answer for. So do those individuals who seek to twist and corrupt religious ideals for their own gain, or out of ignorance and fear. At the same time, religion can be a source of acceptance, love and healing for others, and even an integral part of their self acceptance as a trans person. I have witnessed both sides. I just hope that others can acknowledge and respect that two very different sides exist. Sincerely, Madeleine p.s. My apologies for re-stating much of what I've said before. I have done so for both for the benefit of those who may not read everything and to (hopefully) better organize and state my opinion.
    This post was edited by M G at May 9, 2014 4:21 PM BST
      May 9, 2014 2:39 PM BST
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  • Firstly Madeleine! I have no hate or anger inside of me. I am the complete opposite. I have a note pad at the side of me . Date: April 25 2014 : I rekon Madeleine would make a good Moderator . I wrote that because I could see something in you , I could see you cared. This website cannot work without people who care but , and it is a BIG BUT "Care about Transgender issues" The very reason it is here. Care about each other  "The very reason it is here" Care about when someone comes here looking for answers and help and support "The very reason it is here".

     

    I started this thread because I knew if I posted what I wanted to in the other thread it would be closed , which I asked both Crissie and Chrissy to leave it that way. What I was going to post was something you said to is terrible , my friends wedding , I was not allowed to go to because the priest refused to have me in his church. What right has a priest got to choose wedding guests? That hurt my friend and her now husband more than it did me.

     

    I do not want you to leave here or any other member. I still believe you have a lot to offer this website but , and it is another BIG BUT people are going to have to stop reading things into things I say , read it yes but not read into it.

    I have nothing against others beliefs "That is true" I do have something against what happened here in the past , finding it in my face and inbox everyday. This is no about extremism , though I find my not being allowed to go to a friends wedding rather extreme , what next ban black people from weddings? I had to tell my friend not to let the priest know that the best man was gay , if the priest had his way half the guests would be banned from her wedding because of the 150 plus guests there would have no doubt been another trans person there (but hiding it) there would have been more than one gay person there too.

     

    We all have an abilty to create our own good thoughts we really do not need books to lead us or to follow.

     Let us just please put an end to this , it has to work both ways though. The hatred shown towards us is in the press everyday if you look in the right places. That hatred is driven by organisations like the church , they do in fact have the monopoly on it. Ask the Pope! Well you can't he is to busy sweeping it under the carpet.

    If anyone on this website wants to see peace and love here they truly do have to leave those things away from this website. That is my opinion but I think if others do as I do and speak their minds you will find I am not alone.

     

    What do people get from me? Above all honesty , they will get an honest answer if I know it , I do not use Google to find answers to others personal problems I use honesty and logic. I use my own experiences (not the religious ones) I mean about being trans.

     

    I have not read your post in full , I read a part of it and had to respond , I will read it all later. One thing I do know is that you have more to give than you may ever

    know. If anyone is going to have to leave here to resolve this it will and should be me.

     

    Edit: My plans are not going to happen as I can see it.

     

    I am not here to cause any division , I have already stated other times it is the other ones that do a good job of that , my friends wedding is a classic example of that.

     

    Accept every member as a good honest trans person untill they give cause to prove otherwise , I have filtered a few of them out too . If anyone comes here to take the piss I will spot them. I maybe uneducated but I am not stupid.

     

    You stay here , if anyone wishes I will be the one to go.

     

    I really have to go for now I am late for an appointment. I will be back later and I hope you can actually put some thought into what I have just written and also stay here where you belong .

     

    Take care , Julia x . PS I do still regard you as a friend

    This post was edited by Former Member at May 10, 2014 11:45 PM BST
      May 9, 2014 5:21 PM BST
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    Thank you Julia, thank you! I may well have more to say but I can't right now for a number of reasons, not the least of which is welling up just a bit : )
      May 9, 2014 5:38 PM BST
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  • I want no more talk of religion on this thread . I want this to be a lesson in what it "Can do". It can be good for some but hurtfull to others so lets just drop it. I know I started it but I had good reason.

     

    Madeleine! You are back on my friends list and it was not my intention to hurt you . Sorry I have been so long but my Doctor was attempting to stop me asking for a DNR to be placed on my medical records. She has asked me to seriously think about it over the weekend. I will do that but I am begining to think nature should be allowed to take its course.


    When I blocked you I was attemping to put and end to this not to our friendship. If you like ice cream put some in the microwave untill it is soft and warm , you can then put your fingers in it. What you will feel is how people who know me "Soft and warm" I know I sometimes come accross as the opposite but , at times I have to sound harsh to make a point. Eventually people learn to understand that.

    I have about 12 doctors at my surgery , everytime I get to see a new one they get a shock when they open up my medical records. They ask why is there a picture of you on this screen? They all say they have never seen medical records with a picture of the patient. One doctor put it there about 2 years ago. She told me I was her first ever trans patient in her career. She also told me how proud she was of me for standing up for myself against a mad man who threatened to kill me even though it drained the life from me , she put the picture there. Do I hate that man for what he did ? No I feel sorry for people like that , I told you I have no hate in me. My family hate me,  do I hate them? No I cannot turn my feelings off , I still love them , I just will not ever welcome them back into my life , it was their choice to slam the door in my face.


    You have no need to thank me (twice) As a friend I love and respect you . You know I do not collect friends in a jar of hearts on here. You do have a very big heart , I think it is to big to be shared around at times .


    I now hope that we can put this in the past just where it belongs. I will never change and you will never change and I would not want you to.

    A while back you and Crissie both told me to get back here. Now I am telling you the same , get back here and share the love you have.

    Now I am going to find an old hard drive and upload something to Youtube. I will just change the intro and it will be there no longer than 24 hours. Listen to the words before I remove it. Music inspires me because I listen to the words , they are not my words but they are my thoughts , I guess that is how you see your book.


    Take care , and go hug some warm melted ice cream and think of me , Julia x



      May 9, 2014 9:32 PM BST
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  • Listen and enjoy. In 24 hours it will be gone unless you want it to stay.


    http://youtu.be/RccYiQkZLUA


    Hugz , Julia

      May 9, 2014 10:27 PM BST
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    That's beautiful Julia, thank you : )

     

    I agree that it's time to end this, at least the "you know what" part of it.

     

    I think that because we were both willing to make an effort to understand each other's point of view even when difficult, we now come away better for it, despite anything else. We might not agree on everything, but that isn't a problem. It actually makes us both stronger. "Music inspires me because I listen to the words, they are not my words but they are my thoughts, I guess that is how you see your book." Well, yep, it's kinda like that.

     

    I never thought that hate or anger was a part of your make up as a person. I had just thought that you might've had some that needed to be to let out. It's clear that you could certainly be forgiven for having some to let out were that the case. I have never doubted your character and I've always seen you as someone who although often misunderstood, has an absolute heart of gold. I absolutely see your soft side, your "truest" self.

     

    I've noted multiple times where you have mentioned not having been educated beyond age 12. That is not your fault. You didn't give away or waste your education, it was taken from you. I would like to re-word what you have said; "I have had no formal education since the age of 12". I would argue that your life experience must easily be worth a Master's Degree. So don't knock yourself over it.

     

    When you say "...people are going to have to stop reading things into things I say, read it yes but not read into it." it seems to me that is largely the same message I've been trying to get across, you know...the seek first to understand one  : )

     

    "I will never change and you will never change and I would not want you to." Nope, we may not really change in one sense, but we can learn and grow and become stronger. I can see how you have changed your message a little, not because you or the message itself changed, but because you care, and you made the effort to help others understand.

     

    I think caring for others is something similar we share. It's just that often (not always) we have different ways of showing it.

     

    You absolutely belong here Julia, so don't get any more thoughts of ever leaving, ok?

     

    Sincerely and with love,

    Madeleine

    This post was edited by M G at May 10, 2014 12:40 AM BST
      May 10, 2014 12:35 AM BST
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  • You Ladies done now? Proud to know you both. :)

      May 10, 2014 3:14 AM BST
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