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I had been thinking of not posting in the forums so much lately. I have many topics in mind but just think at times my name appears here to much.
As for this post it involves a couple of things about today. Madeleine asked does anyone know what happened to Sarah? . The only thing I could think of was her last post about her surgery , I did say maybe she has gone stealth , that was just a guess but I do not know.
So on the subject of going stealth. I personally could never do that , there are two main reasons for that , one I would have to move far away and I have no intention of doing that , to many people in this area I live in know all about me and my past. Reason two , I think that is a good thing because they have learned from me , they have got to know me and know I am human , they also know some of what I have had to go through , they then get to see my life is not all that bad.
Another thing about today. I had to see my doctor to make sure I still have a pulse after my recent stay in hospital
. Standing waiting to book myself in there was a man and woman standing behind me , the receptionist said , Hi Julia it is nice to see you how are you? Errr.... thats not a silly question it is a doctors but , she knows if I was dieng on the spot my answer would be I am ok thank you.
The man and woman behind me , as I walked away I heard the man say , that's the woman who was a man. There is some respect in that remark "That's the woman" He respected my gender but brought up my past. I have no problem with that but , I waited untill they sat down and then asked if I could take the seat next to them , the waiting room was nearly empty but the man just said please do. So I sat down next to them and started a conversation , I started it with his remark , he said sorry. I explained to him he had nothing to apologise for as he did respect my gender but I thought I would use the time to explain about the part "Was a man" I told them both I have never been a man but I was born in a male body. Both of them were very interested in how I explained this is not a game , it is not a life style choice. They said they were aware of what happened to me a couple of years ago , the nut case who threatened me with a hammer , they also said well done for standing up to him. I explained I had to he treatened to kill me but then got back to the first subject , about me being me.
I asked have you ever met any other trans person? No they both responded but we have watched things on television about it , I asked is it the same as talking to me? No they both replied in a duet. I asked do you think any sane person would put themselves through this out of choice or for fun? The man could not figure the choice part out , he said but you did choose to change so it was a choice , I then explained the only choice I made was to end my life or be myself and I went for the latter. He asked was it really that bad? Yes it was I replied just as my name appeared in lights on the screen , Miss Julia Ford . They both said it has been very nice meeting you and thank you for taking the time to talk about it to us , I just replied it has been my pleasure to meet you both and if anyone ever asks you again have you ever met another trans person you can now say yes .
I can never ever go stealth , it would make everything I have been through pointless because so many have learnt from me and will continue to untill I no longer have a pulse.
Julia .
