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Chauvinism from a transexual frame of reference.

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  • Male chauvinism. My personal experience as a transgendered man has been at times quite frustrating, thought provoking and sometimes demeaning when out dressed. I find I am treated quite differently. Men pull out a chair, open doors which can be very pleasant but then I get treated like a blonde bimbo, I get talked over or my contribution to conversation treated with deference to greater male knowledge. I am therefore left to or expected to join the girls if there are any, if not I am either excluded to some lesser or greater extent or if I am fortunate chatted up.  This experience lends me to greater understanding of the feminist point of view.  I therefore take it as a back handed compliment in that I think I am being treated as I perceive a biological female.  Does anyone else experience the same? Sorry if I haven't put this together very well.

      July 5, 2014 10:04 PM BST
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  • I've found this to be an interesting and quite surprising subtlety of my integration as a woman. I've experienced little bits of chauvinism here and there, not malicious, just enough to make me aware of the "social norm" of some men's general behaviour towards women. I've felt sometimes like I've needed to bite my tongue, whilst at the same time realising that from a TS's point of view, if I'm being treated chauvinistically I am therefore being accepted as a woman in their eyes.
    It's a different thing to facing prejudice as a TS, it's how those men treat any other woman, but again I feel sure they don't do it ignorantly, it's really just their social conditioning.
    It's definitely less bitter than bittersweet, definitely a back-handed compliment, and has made me see feminist issues from a different viewpoint, and probably made me behave in a somewhat more feminist way. I stand up for myself more now; I won't be downtrodden!
    xx
      July 5, 2014 10:56 PM BST
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  • Thanks Lucy, your much better than me at describing it. But thats exactly right. Thamkyou. X
      July 5, 2014 11:18 PM BST
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  • It's a great question Chantel, and I hope others will post their experiences here.
    I play in a band with 4 guys, work around the pub scene quite a lot. I come into contact with plenty of beer-swilling old-school sort of guys, generally most of them are charming, sometimes I'm not sure if they realise how patronising they are, on occasions, towards women!
    Sometimes I get light-hearted banter - battle of the sexes sort of thing, and I love that, I mean, bring it on, right?! But sometimes I'm like, can you hear yourself right now..?
    xx
      July 5, 2014 11:26 PM BST
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  • Hi Lucy, you are so in tune with me on this. It's sometimes very condescending but they dont seem to have any insight. To be fair guy's are generally cool its just sometimes it comes out. I was recently with a guy for a while and he was the king. He took over my conversations, he took control from me all the time. He was just a cntrol freak and i was left feeling useless. My job in that relationship was cookin cleaning and the other thing. Fortunately i was able to escape. Ah well i have moved on. X
      July 6, 2014 12:22 AM BST
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  • Cooking, cleaning and the other thing...
    Now if I could be bothered with the cleaning I'd make someone the perfect wife!
    xx
      July 6, 2014 12:38 AM BST
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  • Giggling. Yes well sex and cooking could be likened. Well! Spent a while reading up on transfeminism. Wow what a hot potato in the pure feminist field of thought. Hadn't heard of it. Deserves debate having just skimmed the surface. Lots of issues.
      July 6, 2014 1:10 AM BST
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  • Giggling. Yes well sex and cooking could be likened. Well! Spent a while reading up on transfeminism. Wow what a hot potato in the pure feminist field of thought. Hadn't heard of it. Deserves debate having just skimmed the surface. Lots of issues.
      July 6, 2014 1:11 AM BST
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  •  It only happens that way if you allow them to treat you in that manner! For me, if they do not have the proper social skills and treat us as equals, they are gone from my life...I'm a girl on a mission in life and will not lower myself in order to have a man. Set your standards high girl and you'll get the type of person you're looking for!
    xoxo  

    <p>Traci</p>
      July 6, 2014 4:41 AM BST
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  • With all the 'blonde' jokes around, there must be some truth in them, surely?  But why are they all about blonde women

      July 6, 2014 9:12 AM BST
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  • Thanks Tracy your absolutely right of course, personally i must learn to be more assertive. Part of my problem is i am passive and non confrontational by nature. The other side that interests me though is the psychological side of the game. How much is social conditioning, how much is natural male dominance and how do we fit in as trans gendered. Transfeminism is interesting and tries to understand where we are coming from. Whilst we clearly seem to fit under the umbrella of feminism we are not biologically female and have experienced male conditioning to some extent or have we? What does this say about a patriarchal or matriarchal society. Just wanted to discuss i guess. Thanks again for your love and concern. Its what i love about this house and why i am here. A special sistership. X
      July 6, 2014 9:37 AM BST
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  • It's a great topic and one that can be discussed from so many different angles.  But in our lifetimes, we have seen the emergence of women from the shadows of society to the point where they are equal or even supperior to men in many facets.  I've embraced this spirit and refuse to be seen or treated as a second class citizen.  Doesn't always work, but I do always hold my head high...

    Keep on moving forward...develop confidence in yourself as a human, and most of all, learn to love yourself.  The rest will fall into place!

    Best wishes always!

    Traci xoxo

    <p>Traci</p>
      July 6, 2014 4:07 PM BST
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  • Gee thank you Tracy.  Thank you to all my sister's here. I feel really supported and valued. I feel like I am bursting with warm feelings and my eyes are becoming rivers.  Thank you so much. XXXX

      July 6, 2014 4:17 PM BST
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