Sorry Miranda I was typing and thinking then checking my post as you were posting your post. Thank you for your post I thought the statistics I posted had scared everyone .
So DH is she now for sure? Is that how you prefer us to refer to DH? from now?. I hope you have both looked into the effects of HRT and are both very sure.
My way of coming out was very different from most but I will post it if you wish , just ask if you wish to know.
Take care , Julia xx
I can only tell you how it has been for me so far. I am very aware I'm a older than most folks transitioning. I have only come out to a few people, mostly friends and I have found that once they get over their initial surprisethey have been welcoming and very supportive. My anxiety level is extreme every time I come out to a new person but I have been met with nothing but love thus far. I know there will be a time where I won't be welcomed or accepted and that is why I think I get so spun up each time. Maybe I can break some new ground on behalf of all us girls here in middle nowhere in the midwest. I think we all want to be accepted for who we really are inside. I desperatlely want to see the girl I can be in the mirror everyday. that's why I am trying to go forward. Where I will end up is a mystery. As long as it's not on a milk carton, I'll be happy. I just want to make some friends who understand me and where my journey is taking me. Anything more than that would be a wondrous thing.
xo
marissa
To start Miranda you amaze me more everyday. She says she's 100% sure and has been for many years and felt like a woman since puberty? Why Oh why could she not tell you at the start? . But that is history now and this is the present and you are dealing with this very well. I wish her luck at the Drs .
My coming out was not very pretty and I will have to cut it short.
At the age of 10 my Father was killed at work , I blamed myself for that for a very long time. To him I was his little boy and I knew different. Not long after my Father died my Mother took a severe disliking to me , she thought I was strange , she beat me often and broke a few bones along the way.
At the age of twelve I had had enough of pretending and let it out at school , big mistake but I could not stand it . I was then raped by a male teacher and my education ended that day. That may not sound like coming out but at the age of twelve it was the first time I let everyone around me know I was a girl not a boy.
Jumping to age 16. I tried very hard to be like the others but it just would not work. I pushed one girl after another to the side , I think the longest I had a girlfriend for was about 5 days.
Jumping to my 20s. I have told you of my deceased partner , you remind me of her in some ways with your open mind. We met and she was in a broken marriage , her husband beat her often. Something drew us together and I had no choice but to tell her about me being Transexual . I could not hide it and was not willing to and she accepted me and we fell in love.
We had 23 years together before she suddenly died , she just woke up one day and within an hour she was gone.
I fell into a deep depression and was being treated for it by my Doctor. One day I realised that I had accepted she was gone but I was still depressed .
I had to make a decision because I was going to end my life. I walked into my doctors and told her everything and told her if she does not help me I will be dead very soon , I was wasting away anyway. She asked me to give her 2 days to do some research as she had never had a Transexual patient before. I returned 2 days later and she was amazing , I asked her for the one thing I need to keep me alive , HRT and Blockers. I signed a consent form and she gave me a prescription. Within 6 weeks I had slowly stopped taking the anti depressants , I shocked her when she said you look a lot better and happy and she said the anti depressants must be working now. I said no! I do not take them anymore , it was the HRT , I finally at the age of 47 had female blood running through my veins to match my mind.
Coming out was very easy for me. I put the last of the male related items I owned in the bin and watched them go into the back of the waste truck to go to landfill. I had no choice but to walk out of my door as a female , I was a female but everyone in my small village only knew me as a male. So the 1000 people in the village had to get used to me.
They ignored me , and they crossed the road to avoid me and it was pissing me off . So when they crossed the road I thought I can cross roads and I did , I told myself over and over you will talk to me. Within 6 weeks I was accepted through sheer detemination of wanting them to see I was happy. I was invited to the local pub and other things and they were as amazed as my doctor of the change in me , not the gender change the personallity change. After 6 years in that village , 4 as a male and 2 as a female I had to move to a more populated area . They wanted me to stay , yes the ones that would not talk to me at the start wanted me to stay , some begged me to stay but I had to move on.
I moved to Ipswich which was my place of birth , it has a population of about 150.000. Being away from here for well over 30 years at the time no one knew me. It was a fresh start but after 3 months here my life was threatened by a mad man with a hammer , he was dealt with by the courts.
Here where I live now I did not have to come out! I came in , I entered a town as a female and I will very soon be opening my own business here. I have been accepted and I just blend in with the rest of the females in the community , I am just another woman it is as simple as that. This could be a book really and I have been asked to write it , maybe one day but for now I have to concentrate on being the first Transexual woman to open a business here.
That is a very short version of some of my life. Take care , Julia xx
This was edited at 14.26 BST Because I was very tired when I typed it.
This post was edited by Former Member at August 21, 2014 2:58 PM BSTHi Miranda.
Thank You and there is no need to be sorry. The one thing I have only ever wanted in my life is just to be accepted for who I am. Yes it did take strengths I never knew I had , it has been like a battle and I done the hardest part very alone.
Yes they can be called horrors but , others have learned from me and it is only recently I have spoken about those horrors to others , mainly the rape.
Not so long ago now I gave a presentation at my local college to over 100 teachers and some trainee's.
Without a thought of what I was going to say I just stood in front of the microphone and looked straight at them and spoke. I made a lot of them cry! Yes I reduced adults to tears, the one thing I would never allow anyone to see me do as a child "Shed a tear" . They tried to break me back then but , in reality they just made me more determined to beat them and as a child I did.
I was asked after my presentation if I would be willing to make an awareness video for the local education department , the answer was a very easy "Yes" because it still goe's on today. Young transgenders are ending their own lives! Not because they are transgendered , because of the way they are treated by a minority. As an adult others have put walls up in front of me and I just knock them down , it has finally sunk in that Julia Ford is here to stay. Now it is my turn to build something (not walls) my business.
Sorry if I have gone off topic. Take care , Julia xx
Hi Miranda.
RE: Your post above posted @ 1:29 AM BST 22nd August.
I am finding it hard to take in that any therapist can diagnose anyone with just one appointment. I am not saying it cannot be done it is just a long process and needs great caution. The caution is in the next stage of prescribing any HRT. Once that HRT starts it is the road to never being able to produce children again , or in early stage's deformed in some way.
I do not think I have in this thread given you any direct advice and I am not going to start now because I am not qualified.
This is not just about the two of you! It is about everyone in your lives. Your children to start . Now I personally think they are going to grow up with two very loving parents. They are not of an age where they will understand this at the moment , I hope they grow up understanding and with your love I am sure they will. Your family! You have already told some and they seem okay at the moment. You will find some along the way who will not or do not want to understand so be prepared to loose them. Friends! You may loose some but then again you may gain some .
You are a very understanding and special woman but not everyone is like you as you know. None of the above is advice and I guess you are prepared for any fall out. Please only ever take advice from qualified people. If you trust the Therapist then that is fine as they are qualified.
I will give you some advice as this needs no qualification. Your sexuality is your business! Your future is your business! Your lives are your business. GS is a great place to ask questions and find support . Any questions asked by you both when answered please never follow another members road. You are intelligent I know that but , never think it worked for them so it will for us , you are unique as an individual and as a couple and a family , this is your road and it is your lives.
As always I wish you all the best and please both take care , Julia xx
I have to say that I am surprised that such a firm diganosis could be reached and forward prgress to hormone treatment was made on the basis of a what, 50 minute conversation. That said, I hope all turns out well for both!
Miranda Thomas said:
Update: so she was officially diagnosed with gender dysphoria. The therapist made her an appt with an endcrinologist next Friday to figure out hormones.
Rather worrying, ones gender specialist should take a long term interest, supervising on going care, evaluations, progress, hardly seems like there is time before the endos appointment for a doctor to get involved to evaluate any medical/health problems. perhaps paying has speeded up the progress, but to my knowlege no reputable surgeon will carry out any procedures without a full history of supervision and ongoing health care and psychiatric evaluations.
There is no harm in getting all the information you can so you BOTH can make an informed decision. I wish both all the best.