Hi girls!
The title of this is meant to give a clue to what I want to say!
It, of course is similar to a recent post.
On this post which I am referring to we had two new members posting about the fact that one was going through gender confusion.
It was one of the most popular posts we have had here for a while.....until it became somewhat "toxic"
Lots of us got involved, happy to try and help and to give advice if we thought it was right to do so.
Then everything changed as there was some concern as to the speediness of the diagnosis (rightly so)
But my point is this......this couple were NOT lying or false as it turned out, it would appear that she HAS been diagnosed with gender dysphoria and it ain't their fault that it has happened sooo quickly!
At some point this post turned sour with accusations of falseness etc
I myself agree that the diagnosis was rapid to say the least, but, and here's the BIG but, these two were brand new members all of a sudden facing a few accusations that they really, really didn't deserve or expect after joining, let's be honest, for support and advice!
Now it looks like they are going to leave!
Well, I think we should all give ourselves a fuc*ing good pat on the back! Here is a woman (which most of us here aspire to be) bringing up two little children, with a husband that had just announced that he was gender dysphoric, getting the sh*t kicked out of her here! Well.....I think she may feel fragile enough already.....don't you?? She even felt like she had to post photos of her husbands hormones to prove that she wasn't lying....like she's really got time to do that!
With new members in particular, can we not be a little more compassionate and understanding before doing the "conspiracy theory" kind of thing?
After all it's not their fault that the clinic appears to be a "drive thru"
We NEED members here, let's not try to drive them away before they've even gained any confidence here!
This post was edited by Linda T at September 9, 2014 3:44 PM BST

I am coming late into this because I haven't yet read the mentioned post. I do have something to say though.

My personal philosophy about anything I post on the Internet, whether on this site or another, is to reread what I about to post with this question in mind: How would I feel if I were on the receiving end of this post? If it isn't uplifting or at least neutral, I don't post it. I would like someone who is reading it two years later not to think I was a jerk for saying that.

I certainly don't know whether the accusations were true or false. What if they were true? What difference does it make two years from now, when somebody who is truly in a similar situation is reading this site, looking for answers? Is what I post going to help answer that question two years from now, or is it going to help send that person to another source?

Regards, Sami

Linda - it is not a poor reflection on GS.It is a reflection on those INDIVIDUALS (if any) who made unfounded allegations.

 

Hi Amanda, of course what you have said is true, but I was referring to the "overall feeling" somebody may get from reading it in total
But I have now removed that part as I can see it could be open to misinterpretation. xx

Well, here are my thoughts put as simply as I can.  For a therapist  to make a decision that will forever change a person's life on the basis of a 45 minute conversation is unsatisfactory.

 

From long experience, I can tell you that many people come to therapy with a hidden agenda, and it can take a couple of visits to elicit their real issues.  I think it is perfectly reasonable for people to express their concerns.

 

Of course, I could be wrong.

 

Amanda

Linda.

With all due respect you have not been here long enough to make judgements as you have done. This website has allsorts come here , in time you will see that.

The topic you are refering to however much you twist and turn it is somewhat strange the way it was started and then 3 weeks later a diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria was made in one appointment , it is not normal however much anyone tells you it is. Amanda is not wrong in her post above this.

The ones who were wrong were the person that made the diagnosis and the member who insists it is normal practice "Because it is not". You will learn one day.

 

Julia.

Hi, Julia,
They weren't so much judgements as observations, ie the aggressive way the post turned. Nobody wants that.
I would never judge anybody, but I do have the right to an opinion and all I was saying was that whilst I agree with you that the diagnosis was, indeed speedy by any standards, the couple involved were telling the truth in MY opinion, but were subjected to a little hostility....that's all!
In other words things could have been phrased a little better and not so pointedly. Take care, Linda.


Julia said
Linda.
With all due respect you have not been here long enough to make judgements as you have done. This website has allsorts come here , in time you will see that.

Julia, with all due respect, if I were a member here for fifty years I still don't think it would give me the right to judge anybody, take care, Linda
This post was edited by Linda T at September 11, 2014 4:27 PM BST

Hi I realise that my comments are many months down the track however i would like to make coment. From what i have read and experiencing it is difficult times for our partners when we come out and for them to even seek some support is a great event, my wife too when i came out sought assistance and forums to talk on however the negativity found was too great and never went back to them. Now many months down the line she still has no one to talk with and support her, she has been trynig to accept everything day by day which is porbably the best way but i am still nowhere near being me, restrictions of no dressing, no make up, just nails polished. What makes this worse is that i had more before i came out. We are still together and she is trynig and because of our love we are working through and slowly slowly but it is killing me inside worse than ever now as i have the freedom of accepting who i am feeling as being that woman no testosterone so running on estrogen, the emotions the want to be me and the list goes on. If only the support was there in the begining and no negativity for her and others may have saved many a relationship and i would be closer to being able to be me. We get through things by communicating by locking it up it is like cancer eating us away not knowing that all is ok! I live on tenderhooks waiting to hear "i cant do this anymore i love you but i cant hold you back" the last words we want to hear. I love her so deeply and to lose her is to lose my best friend. We have triumphed over our time together with many things as marrages do but never has our love been questioned and now to lose her for wanting to be me well who knows.

To this end everyone should be given an ear whether we gree or not it is important to them to ofload and find resolution, let us support all........ and to those partner accepting bless you and those that dont i wish them well. Naomi