Madeleine please do not edit this , if this website cannot handle the truth and fact then it will never go anywhere.

This week has been a big week for me. After close to a year my paper entitled "It is safe to come out now" will soon be seen by the public. Tomorrow I will be presenting an award , a very special award. You would have seen the photographs but that will not happen now.

My paper gives transgender people all of the pro's and con's of coming out , the pro's do far outweigh the con's as they are all explained. The reason I have been working on this is because of the estimated 6000 transgender people living in my area I can count on one hand the few that dare walk out of their doors and live a life and that includes myself.

I do not do these things for attention or fun , I do have enough of both now without adding to them. The reason I do it is because I care. The paper explains that you really have nothing to fear , the fear comes from the ones that do not understand. Those that do not understand never will because they never or rarely see or meet a trans person , and I have changed that here where I live. Untill the day comes when others can walk out of their doors with their heads held high TG life will be forever stuck in the time. The real fear is from the publics unawareness of our existance and when they do rarely see or meet someone whom they deem "Different" They react in different ways. Some can turn their heads , some show their fear by making the trans person scared of them so in turn putting fear into the trans person , it is a never ending cycle and it has to stop. Most people can and will accept you but they need the chance to meet you.

It is safe to come out now is based on face to face conversations from myself with 760 so called "normal" people from both genders , that is why it has taken me so long to complete (I talk to much) But my talking with those people has given me huge insight into the way they react and their lack of understanding , it has also gained me more friends and contacts.

Next month I will be opening my new business in the town , that is another first in this area. A business owned and run by a transexual woman that is not trans related in any way , it will be there for the public and that means "Anyone".

Due to one members pure ignorance my time here is yet again over. This will be the second time the same member has caused this. That member will be living their lie untill they die yet cannot handle my truth. I have been told it is jealousy! Jealous  of what? Because they cannot find it in themselves to do as I have with my life?. Well there is no need to be jealous because there is nothing special about me. One thing I can do though is admit when I am wrong and apologise. I have not got a vindictive bone in my body , I have been called defiant when my gender was attacked in my past but I am not vindictive.

So at some point  soon the will be sorry without even having to say the word which is all I ever asked. It is time to show this person what sorry is and it is not vindictive , if it were I could have done what I am going to do a very long time ago.

I have done all I can to fit in here , I have made mistakes because I am human but I always apologised if and when I did.

Just recently I made a genuine offer to visit another members family to talk to them as the family are having problems accepting her , I thought meeting me may just help. What more can I do?.

I cannot share this website with a member whom I told just a few weeks ago to steer well clear of me and then does the opposite. So their wish has come true but , have they done anything constructive on this website? No is the simple answer. One of my previous accounts here I deleted because the member insulted my gender on the home page on many occassions by calling me "Him or He". Every document that exists on me states "Gender female" or Miss J.... f...    Unlike their own gender or name. Be who you want! Call yourself what you want but , do not insult me or my gender.

I am going away next week for a break as I will not get a chance to get one for a time untill I know I can leave my business in safe hands.

You can comment on this if you wish but please make it constructive not destructive. I will be leaving for my break on 22nd Sept for a week. On my return I will log in here and point out a few more security issues here and then delete my account. I will email a screen capture of the security problems that are still here to Katie or Crissie.

There are some very special people here and I will miss you. To all of my friends I wish you all of the best and send you my love , from my heart not a keyboard , please stay in touch you know who you are .

Take care , Julia xxxx I have changed the words to this song to the way I feel right now . http://youtu.be/OQOaef1EEQU Again take care and look after yourselves , Goodbye xxx

im really sad to hear you are going ,and you will be sadly missed. you have been kind and caring to me with your good advice, thank you take care and good luck with your new venture

lots of love tina x

Former Member said:

Madeleine please do not edit this , if this website cannot handle the truth and fact then it will never go anywhere.

This week has been a big week for me. After close to a year my paper entitled "It is safe to come out now" will soon be seen by the public. Tomorrow I will be presenting an award , a very special award. You would have seen the photographs but that will not happen now.

My paper gives transgender people all of the pro's and con's of coming out , the pro's do far outweigh the con's as they are all explained. The reason I have been working on this is because of the estimated 6000 transgender people living in my area I can count on one hand the few that dare walk out of their doors and live a life and that includes myself.

I do not do these things for attention or fun , I do have enough of both now without adding to them. The reason I do it is because I care. The paper explains that you really have nothing to fear , the fear comes from the ones that do not understand. Those that do not understand never will because they never or rarely see or meet a trans person , and I have changed that here where I live. Untill the day comes when others can walk out of their doors with their heads held high TG life will be forever stuck in the time. The real fear is from the publics unawareness of our existance and when they do rarely see or meet someone whom they deem "Different" They react in different ways. Some can turn their heads , some show their fear by making the trans person scared of them so in turn putting fear into the trans person , it is a never ending cycle and it has to stop. Most people can and will accept you but they need the chance to meet you.

It is safe to come out now is based on face to face conversations from myself with 760 so called "normal" people from both genders , that is why it has taken me so long to complete (I talk to much) But my talking with those people has given me huge insight into the way they react and their lack of understanding , it has also gained me more friends and contacts.

Next month I will be opening my new business in the town , that is another first in this area. A business owned and run by a transexual woman that is not trans related in any way , it will be there for the public and that means "Anyone".

Due to one members pure ignorance my time here is yet again over. This will be the second time the same member has caused this. That member will be living their lie untill they die yet cannot handle my truth. I have been told it is jealousy! Jealous  of what? Because they cannot find it in themselves to do as I have with my life?. Well there is no need to be jealous because there is nothing special about me. One thing I can do though is admit when I am wrong and apologise. I have not got a vindictive bone in my body , I have been called defiant when my gender was attacked in my past but I am not vindictive.

So at some point  soon the will be sorry without even having to say the word which is all I ever asked. It is time to show this person what sorry is and it is not vindictive , if it were I could have done what I am going to do a very long time ago.

I have done all I can to fit in here , I have made mistakes because I am human but I always apologised if and when I did.

Just recently I made a genuine offer to visit another members family to talk to them as the family are having problems accepting her , I thought meeting me may just help. What more can I do?.

I cannot share this website with a member whom I told just a few weeks ago to steer well clear of me and then does the opposite. So their wish has come true but , have they done anything constructive on this website? No is the simple answer. One of my previous accounts here I deleted because the member insulted my gender on the home page on many occassions by calling me "Him or He". Every document that exists on me states "Gender female" or Miss J.... f...    Unlike their own gender or name. Be who you want! Call yourself what you want but , do not insult me or my gender.

I am going away next week for a break as I will not get a chance to get one for a time untill I know I can leave my business in safe hands.

You can comment on this if you wish but please make it constructive not destructive. I will be leaving for my break on 22nd Sept for a week. On my return I will log in here and point out a few more security issues here and then delete my account. I will email a screen capture of the security problems that are still here to Katie or Crissie.

There are some very special people here and I will miss you. To all of my friends I wish you all of the best and send you my love , from my heart not a keyboard , please stay in touch you know who you are .

Take care , Julia xxxx I have changed the words to this song to the way I feel right now . http://youtu.be/OQOaef1EEQU Again take care and look after yourselves , Goodbye xxx

I see no reason to edit it Julia. Also, the forum topic/thread you wished removed has been. I don't see that any good would have come from leaving it there. No one can really force you to leave, we make our own decisions. Any abusive behavior that would prompt another member to leave will not be tolerated.

Dear Julia;
I am so sorry that you feel that the only choice you have left is to leave GS. I'm not sure how that person offended you but I wish I could make it right. I also realize that an apology from me doesn't fix anything. I realize that we have not know each other very long and that we don't know each other very well but I wish you would reconsider. I still appreciate and respect eveything you have to say.

 

all the best;

 

marissa

Safe is a relative term and sadly there are still plenty of reasons and places to feel otherwise.

That said, encouragement to come out and believe in yourself is a good thing. We do need to increase our visibility so people can see we are much more common than they may think, and we are normal. We need to educate the world while also providing other trans people with positive role models.

Further, there does seem to be a fair bit of positive momentum for our visibility and acceptance in the world right now, and there has probably never been a better time to come out.
This post was edited by M G at September 17, 2014 11:15 PM BST

Sorry to hear of this Julia - all the best in the things you do - you are a woman who puts her heart into all that matters. Best of success in your business venture as well. Take Care 

Thank you all for your comments. I just want to let you know that I am not enjoying this. GS has played a big part in my life and it is hurting me more than you will ever know to let it go. I do know the person that has caused this is enjoying this very much and maybe a few more too.

I cannot find any other way to escape the member , this is the only way there is.

 

If I had never deleted any past accounts here I would hold the place here of most posts made by a member "Over 3000".

I deleted my account last year on my birthday , not going to make it that far this year.

 

Madeleine. Being safe is not just about us , genetic females are not very safe in todays world , its the way things are sadly. Are we any safer? I consider myself to be as safe as any other woman. The paper I produced did make comparisons when I asked females how safe they feel.

One of the things I asked was . Now you have spoken to me and I have explained about myself do you find me strange or not understand? Out of the 760  , 31 Said they do not understand but do not find me strange , 23 of those were males so it is a male thing not understanding more than a female one. It does make interesting reading.

 

Take care and thank you , Julia x

I couldn't really say how we compare to genetic natal females as victims of violence. It's all pretty sad. The stats for violence against transgender women are pretty staggering though, and that's only one kind of threat to safety.

 

Madeleine and all . It is hard to compare but one of the questions I asked to the females was . Have you been the victim of either verbal abuse , physical abuse , sexual abuse , or have you feared for you safety or life because your gender?. I had to word it like that because I have in the past suffered all of those as a female. It was the only way I could make some kind of comparison but I only had myself to compare it to. The end result was 97% So it is not all about us.

 

I do understand trans girls fears and part of idea of what I done was . I tried to imagine what it would be like if those that live in fear all came out on the same day. Would there be shock? I do not think it would be so much shock but , if it happened the rest of the community they live in would just get used to it eventually.

 

When something different comes along eventually people just accept it as normal (think about it I did). Although I made it through and others have too it is places like GS that can bring others together (or in my case drive me away) . That coming together can only be a good starting point for making it all come true and acceptance for all , it does not have to be a dream . I could place another video here that explains it but people do not watch or listen to them. The one I put the link to above is just another persons song which I altered the words to. It only took about 30 mins to put together the hardest part getting the words in sync , and I still cocked up some of the spelling but I was tierd . Some songs can say it all with the original words depending on which way you listen to it .

 

Take care , Julia x

It would be nice if we could all find a way to get along. I'm so tired of all this. How can one be sure of friends when there is so much that leads us to another place. We don't need any of this but we continue to support it. No one has the answer for someone else and opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one. I can't believe anyone is entertaining this crap. Folks tend to turn things to what they believe to be the truth. You need to believe in your truth. Not someone elses......Yours. 

I will never be safe but I will walk there wilingly because I choose to do so. How can I find where I belong if I don't willingly go where I've not been welcome before. 

Former Member is a cop out. A way to make things go away and stand up for nothing. I would never erase my name from GS. Former Member is only concerned about what  concerns her and sadly would drag us down to her level. Former Member's have no rights at GS. Someone who would claim to be a former member still have a lot to learn. You just can't be a former member at GS. Your in for it all or your in  for everything that goes along with it. 

I'm In.......:)

Julia - there are a lot of us here who admire your candour, and your efforts on behalf of us all, but you have to ask yourself, who benefits from you leaving GS.  Certainly not you, and certainly not GS!  It's a lose-lose situation.  If it REALLY hurts you so much, don't do it.

 

Please rethink.

 

Amanda Bruce said:

Julia - there are a lot of us here who admire your candour, and your efforts on behalf of us all, but you have to ask yourself, who benefits from you leaving GS.  Certainly not you, and certainly not GS!  It's a lose-lose situation.  If it REALLY hurts you so much, don't do it.

 

Please rethink.

 

Well said. Thanks Amanda.

Tough love? Chrissy's response could be called tough love and yes I can handle it. The one thing no person here has come up with an alternative. It is easy to say its a cop out but , can anyone here please tell me what they would do in my situation?. If anyone here thinks that it is okay for another member here to call me "Him" and "He" and thinks I am going to tolerate it then "Everyone" is wrong , yes it was done in the past but , they are showing signs of ignorance towards me yet again .

I love this website and I have some very good friends here yet , one member just cannot resist causing me problems. I could do the same I suppose , I could reveal the members real name right here (mine is real I have nothing to hide) I could resort to insulting the member! I mean it would not take much with all of the infomation I have gathered about the member , they do insult the word Transexual and have no clue what it means let alone pretending to be one. That would be sinking to their level though and I refuse to do it. As they cannot say the word sorry and get satisfaction out of their insults and the problems they cause I have to make them sorry , my way. Some members here still encourage that member , it makes them just as bad.

I have put my name back and an image of what the member "Thinks" is a man because I have pride in myself and gender.

So come on then how do I put a stop to it? The member in question serves no purpose here but I cannot magic them away and no person here can stop their hatred towards me. I will just have to send all of the information I have gathered to their education department and see if they think their actions are appropriate. I do not want to do it as I have pointed out I am not vindictive but , I can see no other way of hurting them as they are hurting me by causing this. I have never sunk as low a calling that member him or he and I am not here even with everything I know about them and their lifestyle.

Former Member is a very common name on this website , it makes the forums look a mess and I love and have played a big part in those forums. The forums and the passion some show for them is what makes this website so special.

I have an award to go and present to some special people and need to get going now so give me the answer if you have one , do I send the information I have gathered to hit the person where it hurts? Its not the way I work but its all ready to go.

Julia .

Julia,

I, among others, are and will be saddened by your decision.  The world is full of narrow minded and closed minded folks.  I have had to live with them for 71 years, and no matter what I say or do, that just doesn't disappear.  Over my time on this earth I have learned to work for the changes I can help with, and to not loose any sleep over the ones I can't.  Smile and turn away.  

Please think again as to your decision, You will be missed. I will miss you. As I stated the other day, you force me to examine my thoughts.  Thank you.  I may not always agree, but you inspire me to do more self examination.

 

I hitting SEND now, don't want to get too long winded.  I will be on here hoping for a thought provoking message from you in the near future.

I am,

 

Bobbi 

It's sad that you feel to leave because of that one member.  I hope that like everyone here your business will do well and you will be okay and good luck.

Julia, you've spoken about leaving many times before the most recent re-ignition of an old feud. There may well be more to it than I/we know, but why isn't simply ignoring it an option? It takes a strong person to look the other way. If abuse continues, report it and it will be addressed. Like I said before, The Gender Society will not tolerate members abusing one another. Further, I don't see the benefit of attacking, retaliating against, or otherwise seeking retribution against another person. Carrying that around isn't healthy, and that type of action often only works to escalate a situation. If someone does something wrong, you report it to the appropriate authority as required, but try not to do it for the wrong reasons. Regardless of reason, I understand you don't want to.
This post was edited by M G at September 18, 2014 4:00 PM BST

This is called a thread stopper.

 

http://gendersociety.com/forums/topic/9668/hello-all

 

I can make a whole list of them , all ended by the same member. I do not know why the other member left GS but there are a many of these on this site , it makes me wonder why the member left.

 

Now it is my turn. I am putting an end to this. I want to thank you all for your support and comments I do appreciate them.

I am not allowing one person to end my membership here as all it will do is give them the pleasure. I know they are reading this so Member , I am not asking you I am telling you . If you ever come close to insulting me or my gender again ........... ................... ......... ............ fill in the blanks because you should know by now . Again , just keep well clear of me and find something usefull to do instead of ending others threads and causing problems.

 

Again I thank you all , Take care , Julia xxx.

This post was edited by Former Member at September 18, 2014 10:06 PM BST

======================================

This is called a thread stopper.

http://gendersociety.com/forum/topic/9668/hello-all

======================================


There's nothing at that link, it appears to have been removed already...or is that the point?

Link works now Madeleine. And I can put a list of them but I can't be arsed I am so tired.

 

Take care , Julia x

This post was edited by Former Member at September 18, 2014 10:11 PM BST

I see, 'twas a missing 's'.
I remember Ana, she was very sweet. I wish she was still here...

I see multiple statements there that while perhaps said quite innocently, still seem to me to smell a little...words most certainly could have been much better chosen and/or clarified...better chosen would have been best.
This post was edited by M G at September 18, 2014 10:22 PM BST

I'm dense on this Julia, so please forgive me here but I still don't see reason for you to leave. In fact, if anything I see more reason for you to stay.

Madeleine for now my membership is safe here , I am not going. I have read through the comments in this many times and came very close to the delete my account icon , my cursor has spent far to much time sitting over it. How this started was , I could see a pattern starting again , the same pattern that ended my membership here in the past. I am not giving one person the pleasure of doing it again. No person here is forced to like me and they can hate me as much as they wish as long as they keep it to themselves.

Some people just do not get it , I would die to defend my gender , I most likely will. I have spent most of my life not being able to be free to express who I am to the world mostly to protect others. I have a good life  and as you know it has not been easy , being myself is the easy part . The hard part at the start was convincing people in the real world I am here to stay . I would like to think and hope I can say the same for GS. If society can accept me then a transgender website should be able to.

It is easy to attack another from a distance and the safety of a keyboard. I know for a fact facing me they would not dare do it.

Take care and thank you , Julia x

And yes from the little time Ana was here she seemed very nice.

I have to add to this that this website owes me nothing but , I owe this website more than some will ever know. I tell people in this world that life owes you no favours. Life is what you make it. We all have an ability inside of us , I have found strengths I never knew I ever had , I had to find them just to survive. As you can all see from this I do have a weakness. That weakness is not my gender , my gender is my strength. The weakness comes from "Any" Person either attacking my gender or attempting to.

The moral to this is "I am myself" If anyone cannot accept it then keep out of my way . I have accepted it and the people I share my life with have and I thank them for that.

There is a big difference between ignorance and deliberate ignorance.

As an example , yesterday. Walking through town two other females looked at me , one said to the other , I like her top! The other replied I know her she used to be a man.

In that statement is some ignorance "She used to be a man" There is no malice in it just a little ignorance but , they both called me she/her , used to be is my past but they do not understand I never have been, if I had time I would have spoken to them and explained.

Yes I have with all of my strengths have just a few weaknesses because I am human.

 

Take care , Julia x

Glad to hear that you aren't going.  Remember you have friends herre and if you did go, then that one person would not only win but may start on another member.

The moral to this is "I am myself" If anyone cannot accept it then keep out of my way 
That phrase from you Julia is precisely why I like you, see you as a mentor and friend. It speaks to my heart as well.
thanks

My heart leapt when  I read this.  Good news is always easier to receive than "not so good".  Being a little selfish, I glad because my brain can have ocassional explosiions again.

 

Bobbi

This post was edited by Bobbi gruetter at September 19, 2014 3:25 PM BST

I think some of you would be surprised at the amount of members I admire here on GS . I have to say that I am a bit taken back by this or shocked by your support.

I can remember when I returned after deleteting my previous account one comment that made me laugh , it said something like "Yes! Julia is back to spice things up" .  May be I do but I have not enjoyed this part of being here.

 

So to all of you that I do admire so much all I can say again is Thank You.

 

Now I need some fresh air as I have been up since 4am and the sun is shining and its warm so I am now going to spice up the lives of some of poor souls who live here in my home town.

 

Take care all , Julia xxx

glad to see you are staying julia 

lots of love tina x

Hi Julia;

 

I am so glad that you have chosen to stay with us! And I am also grateful for your candor and insight.

 

love ya

 

marissa

Julia, 

You mentioned a bright sunny day on that side of the pond.  Here, in South Florida, we have had heavy rains for the last couple days.  This morning I did see a bright orange thing in the sky,I think it was a colorful UFO, just not too sure.  Who'd a thought SE Florida would be jealous of weather in the UK.

 

Bobbi

This post was edited by Bobbi gruetter at September 20, 2014 2:18 AM BST

It was raining yesterday in the West Midlands in Britain like it is today.  

Yesterday was sunny and  24c here in Suffolk . Today it is grey humid with storms. Its the UK , I still cannot get over seeing and touching frost on the grass in August this year , never in my life have I seen that , its just mad weather here. I rekon the bright Orange thing Bobbie saw in the sky in Florida was the "Sun" Or it may have been a helium ballon advert for Orange juice? . If not it was aliens from the planet Orange which is to the left of the red planet. And Bobbie! Never be jealous of our weather , I am sure yours is much better for a sun tan and I love the sun.

 

Julia x

This post was edited by Former Member at September 20, 2014 12:57 PM BST

After Thursday 9th October I will not log in here unless I need to answer any contacts. I am not deleting my account and my membership will remain full and paid for even though I will not be using the site. This website needs money but I now know that it does not need me after reading the deleted post that I will place at to end of this. The post was made twice and deleted twice , I know that because it was in my personal inbox twice. I read the post whilst I was away on a break , if it was meant to hurt it did not , all it done was made me realise who my true friends are. The person who wrote it was a friend or so I thought .

 

Next week I pick up the keys to my new business. To my knowledge it will be the only high street business run and owned by a transexual woman in this town and county. It would have been nice to come home and just keep up with things going on here but I am removing it from my favourites bar. If any of my other friends feel the same way about me as the person who posted this below please feel free to remove me from your friends list.

 

Chrissy TGIF (Assistant Forums Manager) has posted a reply 24/09/2014 - 00:49.

Honey you have'nt helped anyone or anything. Your best has always torn someones life apart. Good job , you should get some kind of prize for that eh? Julia you haven't done anything for anyone and while you think you have your're sadly mistaken. I've put with your arogance for far to long now and wish you nothing as I leave GS . You like being a problem because that's the only way you can get attention.

Well what can I say Chrissy? You do not know me one bit. If you could spend just one day with me you would see what I do. As for needing attention you are so so wrong. Not so long ago I told you you would always be welcome here in my home if you ever came to the UK! That was a genuine offer but is withdrawn. Make a list of what you have done to help your local community as a woman and the people you have helped and I will put my list next to yours. For all of what you posted about me above then deleted I still wish you all the best .

Take care , Julia.

It's sad that people can't be civil to each other if they can't be friends for whatever reason.  I just hope your business does well Julia and the future will always be bright for you even in the coming dark winter months.

Hi Suzy.

I have alway's had the greatest respect for you and many others here and I thank you. I actually like what Chrissy posted "Not the venom spat at me" I like honesty. Here she has displayed her honesty and I admire that , it is a shame I had to put her honesty back though.

People can hate me I can handle that! On this website I have said things I regret but , I have "Always" Admited my mistakes and apologised. I have never once said anything with such venom in it against another member , it is pure hatred.

Me not logging in here may be a good thing or at least to some.

 

As for my new business! Thank you for the good wishes. I had to think of a name for that business and was doing so whilst chatting to Crissie (Cristine Shye). As Crissie is such an inspiration to everyone here I chose the word "Inspiring" Crissie has inspired me so much and the name of my business is "Inspiring #####" (Edited). Everyday when I unlock that door with that name over my head I will think of Crissie , I will do the same as I lock it up.

 

Take care Suzy and thank you , Julia xxx

 

And Crissie! If you read this Thank you for the inspiration and for being true friend xxxXxxx Julia xxxXxxx

This post was edited by Former Member at October 9, 2014 11:53 PM BST

Julia.  So many, many times you have posted on this,your forum, as iot is as much as anyone elses.  So many, many times, your posts have helped folks who have been struggling.  Never forget that.

 

So often, you have threatened to leave, and so often, some of us have tried to persuade you to change your mind. Succesfully, I'm glad to say.  You have so much to give to this Internet space to people who are experiencing a lot of what you have gone through.

 

Sadly, though - and I'm sure you can relate to this, some days, we wake up with a shorter fuse than usual, and I suspect that Chrissie was having a short fuse day.  Have you been there, Julia?

 

Sometimes. I have read your posts, felt the anguish behind them, and then thought, Julia, what do you expect to gain by threatening to quit.  You are a mature woman.  You care for those in the same situation as you.  You want to help them.  So do so.  Forgive Chrissy - I think that your often repeated threats to leave eventually broke the camel's back.

 

You - and Chrissy are great assets to this site.  You are BOTH needed.  I shall be sad if you leave.  However, if you keep up this " I'm going to quit" schema, trust me lady, it corrodes your credibility.  Please stay - I hope that you and Chrissy can make peace to the benefit of every single member here.  If you cannot, it will be a great loss to us all.  Besides, on a very personal level, you have agreed to be my friend, and if you leave, I will lose the opportunity of your friendship, wnich would sadden me.  If I can help, PM me.

 

That said, if you persist with this "Will I leave, will I stay" behaviour, it will - no matter how much I admire your spirit - wear thin rapidly.  What ever you choose, I wish you a great future, and success in your business.

 

Love and hugs, Catriona.

Hi Catriona.

I am not leaving GS . I am atempting to find a way to stay but without the frustration. If I stop posting here then to me it solves the problem. People just do not get me here. I do forgive Chrissy she is honest and I like that in any person . I have one grudge on this website and that is the member that caused this , all I have ever asked from the member is an apology . I allowed that member to force me from this site in the past but not again "It will not happen". I am not a vindictive person and if I were I have the power to lose that member their job. I know who they are , I know where they live , and I know who they work for. One email from me to the right place would end their career. Would I do that? No I would not because everyone who knows me knows that I am as soft as melting ice cream on a hot summers day.

 

Chrissy posted that I have torn someones life apart! Who's life have I torn apart? The only one that is torn apart here is me.

Yes I have stong opinions , yes at times I mis-phrase things, yes at times I get frustrated on the internet but that is only because I cannot be there where the person is that either needs help or , the opposite having a go at me for caring. I make judgements about what is in front of me , at times some need harsh words to get their act together. Being soft is my nature , I am soft but being soft in certain situations can cause more problems , if to much sympathy is given then they learn to feed off it , it is not healthy. Empathy is a good healer in most situations.

 

Just a few days before Crissy posted what she did I presented an award , I paid for that award with my own money just like last year. That award put a lot of smiles on a lot of faces (I will add an image after posting this). The most stupid and ironic thing that happened that same day is , when I returned home I had a call telling me I had been short listed for an award. I do not want awards the smiles and happiness is enough for me , I asked them to remove my name from the short list but whether they do or not is not up to me , I was nominated by a lot of people. That is the difference between here and my life. If I can some how find happiness here like I do in my life then things would be fine.

Again yes I do forgive Chrissy she had her reasons for saying what she did , I am a bit confused about not helping anyone or someones life I have torn apart though.

If me staying out of the forums make others happy then that is the way it should be because I like happiness. Now comes the problem! If I stay out of topics then how can I help? It is a puzzle I cannot figure out. If everyone here were in the same room as me then that would make it easier but they are not. I have to figure them out and they have to figure me out for it to work , sometimes it does not work though.

I am 57 this month and all I want is for others to be happy and to find what I have before they hit my age , happiness and contentment , that is it! I found it I just want others to , it is as simple as that.

 

Love and hugs back to you and thank you .

 

Take care , Julia xx

 

I will post this then go back to edit to add an image. This made 11 girls very happy plus their manager and is covered in their finger prints.

This post was edited by Former Member at October 5, 2014 8:17 PM BST