Yesterday was the first time I allowed myself to do something as feminine as putting on makeup. Because it made me feel so good I can now see in a clear light; how much I've suffered in silence; how much I've ignored my true feelings; the denial trough the years... (you can see where the train is going). I'm feelin so much sorrow inside. I want to know how you worked your way trough the sorrow that the years of denial has created. 

Hi Julie.

You are young and have a lot of years ahead of you. You want to know how we do it?. We just do and it is by no means easy. You become yourself slowly and at the same time put the past behind you slowly. With each day that goes past you gain a little more confidence and learn about your true self. You do as you have done here to learn from others too. You need to remember it is not all about clothes and make up it is about you and how you feel inside. You also need to be 100% sure you are doing the right thing.

If you start to take hormones then be very sure it is what you need and not just want. See a specialist about it first and do not just go taking anything unsupervised by a doctor. Never feel alone because you are not. For me to sit here and type how I got through it would take to long and I have work to finish before midnight.

I am sure others will offer you some advice but do not take it all as we are all different and there is no one size fits all.

I have to go , take care x

Hi Julie,

          As Julia says we are all different , and the road is long.Yes we carry the past , and for many of us that means other people and their fears and sorrows. But what helps is if you can see that by transitioning you are releasing and developing a better you  for the other people in your world as much as yourself  . This is hard though, small steps and smile ,take care  . 

Donna

Hi Julie.

Again I am short of time so I will have to keep this short. You need to look one way and one way only and that is forward. You mentioned the sorrow of the years of denial. You have to just think of that as history as that is just what it is. It is now and your future that is important.

You really do not want to dwell on sorrows of the past. If I done that I would never had made it through this. Yes my past was horrific but that is over now.

I am very happy being me and live a good life , or as good as I think it can be. I can remember all of the pain but that was when I was living life as a lie as a male. Now that has all gone and things are good. You can do this because if you want something bad enough you can make it happen. I made a choice to make it happen overnight and it worked for me. Never think that will work for you though.

You have to do this your way because it is your life. I hope you can feel able to talk to your doctor about it because he or she will help you.

For now take care x

i wish i could be allow to connect to my emotions. But in the state in the united states

it seems im not allowed to in a public place.

As i write this our state government is trying to push a bill throught . that will prohibit  transgender to use public bathrooms unless it to you assigned gender

They have even spoken of having a "bounty" reward for those whom turn in those whom do..

me being what is now being used as a term  (alternating Gender incongruancy) 

I ALSO WOULD BE TARGETED . here is the purposed state statues that they are try ing to make law

PLUS having "traits" of d.I.d  doesnt make thing any more better. I said traits be cause i have not been "PROPERLY" dio noused  by a  liscence shrink at the moment ...