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Addiction to porn.

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  • One of the ways I got trough the puberty was by distancing myself to my emotions trough watching hours of porn. I've tried so many times to get over that addiction - but failed. I've been given some testetorone blockers from a friend. I'm still considering whether or not to use the blockers.

     

    Having ADHD has not exactly helped me control my sexual urges. But I can imagine that for a lot of transwomen out there you must also have had a hard time dealing with the torture that our manly sexual drive has given us?

      March 23, 2015 11:54 PM GMT
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  • I cannot speak for others here but I have never had an addiction to porn. I never and have never bothered with porn full stop.

    From as old as I could think of sex or should have I never did. What was going on in my mind most of the time was why was I stuck in this body?.

    As a very young teen I spent my time with the other girls because in my mind I was one of them. The boys were jealous of me but they had no reason to be because I was not interested in the girls sexually.  As I grew older I did try to form a few relationships with other females but they never lasted more than a week so I gave up.

     

    I met a woman in my mid twentys and something clicked between us. She was a Tomboy and I told her about me being transexual within a week. I was not willing to lie to her so I took that chance. She accepted me for who I was and we spent 23 years together before she passed away suddenly just over 10 years ago. There has been no one in my life since then that I feel attracted to enough to even bother about , and yes I do get many offers.

     

    My sex life with my partner was only for her and the only pleasure I had from it was making her happy. I gave her what she needed and that was for her and her only . I am not bothered about sex I am more bothered about the person and I doubt there will ever be anyone else .

    I have everything I need and my mind is more concerned with making the most of the rest of my life. My friends come first and my business is a very close second.

      March 24, 2015 6:12 PM GMT
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  • Hormones ought to quell your urge...and if you're truly transexual vs. CD/TV, that "urge" was most likely never there to begin with.  Testosterone is nasty stuff!

    <p>Traci</p>
      March 24, 2015 8:17 PM GMT
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  • There are several things you can do to combat this - the most important of which is be determined to change, and stick with it.  Without that determination, nothing is going to work.  No one can do this for you.

    Firstly, get someone, a friend perhaps  to put some site blocking software on every computer in the house. Just Google porn blocker to get the names of some programs.  The reason I say to get someone else to install it is so that you do not know the password, and therefore cannot circumvent it.

    Secondly, you need to rationalise your thinking around pornography, and to this end, I’m going to suggest that you would benefit greatly from a course of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.  It is a form of therapy that addresses problems in a direct and targeted way and is brief compared with most other therapies.  

    CBT is based on the fact that what we think in any given situation generates beliefs about, and reactions to that situation, and also cause the behaviour and feelings which flow from those beliefs and reactions.  

    These ‘automatic thoughts’ are so fast that generally, we are unaware that we have even had them.  We call them ANTS (automatic negative thoughts) for short.  

    If the pattern of thinking we use, or our beliefs about our situation are even slightly distorted,

    the resulting emotions and actions that flow from them can be extremely negative and unhelpful.  The object of CBT is to identify these ‘automatic thoughts’ then to re-adjust our thoughts and beliefs so that they are entirely realistic and correspond to the realities of our lives, and that therefore, the resulting emotions, feelings and actions we have will be more useful and helpful.  

    Cognitive therapists do not usually interpret or seek for unconscious motivations but bring cognitions and beliefs into the current focus of attention and through guided discovery encourage clients to gently re-evaluate their thinking.   

    Therapy is not seen as something “done to” the client. CBT is not about trying to prove a client wrong and the therapist right, or getting into unhelpful debates.  Through collaboration, questioning and re-evaluating their views, clients come to see for themselves that there are alternatives and that they can change.   

    Clients try things out in between therapy sessions, putting what has been learned into practice, learning how therapy translates into real life improvement.  

    Please visit this website for much more detailed information on CBT:

    http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfoforall/treatments/cbt.aspx

    If you cannot afford to see a therapist, there are good free CBT based self-help resources here:

    http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/cbtstep1.htm

    In addition there is some excellent support available on the Internet, here

    http://pornaddictioninfo.com/

    Best wishes, Amanda.

     

    This post was edited by Amanda Bruce at March 25, 2015 9:54 PM GMT
      March 25, 2015 9:53 PM GMT
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  • For you, Julia, my greatest wish is that you could forgive internally and externally, all of those who have hurt you or abused you.  Looking back,you know that they failed.  They play no part in your life now Julia.  You are moving on, and giving hope to many who have lost it.  Please, though, do it kindly. Be kind to those you wish to help, and over anything else, be kind to yourself.

     

    Big Hug, Amanda.

      March 25, 2015 10:10 PM GMT
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  • Hi Amanda.

    My past is in the past where it belongs. There will always be a trigger to send me back there even if only for just a few seconds. It could be a man who looks like the man who raped me as just a child at 12 years old. It could be someone who looks or sounds like my partner .

    I gave a man on the street CPR and saved his life. He was a total stranger yet I could not save my partnerCry. Both of their hearts had stopped beating yet I saved the stranger! That hurts but I cope with it.

     

    If you could have seen me today giving a presentation to business women and business men you would see the effect I have on people.

    I recieved a round of applause yet I could not understand why. I never  rehearsed what I was going to say I just spoke just as I always do. People stayed behind just to tell me how well I done and told me it took courage to stand there and speak as I did "From my heart not a script". I cannot see where courage came into it as it comes natural to me yet they say they could not do it.

    For those of you who have yet to meet me or never will my life revolves around being kind and helpfull to others.  I find it hard to communicate with certian people on the internet though. Those people are mainly the ones that seem to have a problem with my honesty and openess about my life. If I stopped talking about my life though then others will never learn from my mistakes and how I corrected them and now have a good life and many friends who respect me for who I am and not what I was.

     

    Love to both you and Cat xxxx

     

    Edit: I was going to delete this post as it is not really in the appropriate topic. I may still do later.

    This post was edited by Former Member at March 26, 2015 6:56 AM GMT
      March 25, 2015 11:15 PM GMT
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