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A roll of tragic events

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  • I just wish to share something and it is about myself so if you are not interested then you have been warned so just move on.

    About 9 years ago I was so close to ending my life , maybe even minutes away from it. It was after I had told my family about me being transexual and they at first seemed to accept that. It very soon became clear I was wrong. The doors were slammed in my face and however hard I tried I was fighting a losing battle trying to hold on to them. At the time I was living alone in the Norfolk countryside and I was then very isolated. I had planned ending my life down to every last detail. There was a razor blade at the side of my bed and it was there every night just waiting for the right time. That time had come and I was drained of all my emotions.

     

    I knew that my body losing its blood was going to make me feel cold and I hate being cold. I did not want to spend my last moments  feeling cold. I turned the electric blanket on to attempt to stop that and then swallowed 25 mg of Diazepam , that is not enough the kill yourself with but they do make you sleepy and 25 mgs makes you very sleepy. I lay there with that blade in one hand just thinking and waiting for the moment just before I fell asleep. I had no fear of death because life was or seemed worthless.

    Something went wong and it was not fear but I fell asleep without the chance to use the blade. I woke up very hot as the electric blanket was still on and I was still holding the razor blade.

     

    In some strange way I thought that was a sign and not one from any stupid god. I saw that as a sign that I should see my doctor and get my life sorted out and not be planning my death. I had no family who would talk to me but after seeing my doctor I started to see a future and not an end. I transitioned overnight and it was not easy but it did get easier. After about 6 weeks of determination people started to accept me and then I started to make new friends. As each day past the past was further in the past and my future was looking better.

     

    So as not to bore you I am just saying that there is always a better way however bad things get and things were really bad for me.

    I have knowingly saved 3 lives since then and have been told that to my face by the people who said that my life had given them hope and saved their lives. I have also saved a man on the street whos heart had stopped by giving him CPR. So that makes four lives in all. If I had taken my life that night I would not be typing this and four other people would be dead too. I think I made the right choice talking to my doctor .

     

    Take care x

      April 16, 2015 11:13 PM BST
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  • Although the story in the link below is very sad this person could have been helped more. After the event it is to late. Looking at the image it is easy to see why this ended the way it did. It was a tragedy waiting to happen but with some support and professional intervention could have been prevented. Living in Carlisle cannot be cited as a reason this happened. Anyone presenting themselves in that way it could have happened anywhere. Even a member here recently stated they were going to transition with a quarter of an inch of facial hair. If anyone thinks that will make your life easy then think again you are very wrong. All it takes is some common sense because if you intend to go out in public just take a look in the mirror first. What the public will see is exactly the same as the reflection.

     

    This is still another human life lost but with some good advice and support may have been prevented.

     

    http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/mikki-nicholson-transgender-scrabble-champion-5566289

    This post was edited by Former Member at April 25, 2015 1:05 PM BST
      April 25, 2015 1:02 PM BST
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