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What age can gender identity be diagnosed?.

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  • We hear so many storys of children as young as 2 or 3 with their parents being convinced their child has gender dysphoria. Some of those parents do change the childs gender role but how can they be sure they are doing the right thing?. The only way it can be done is by the childs behaviour being watched 24 hours a day by a gender expert. I was born into a male body and I can say that I knew from about maybe the age of 6 that I was different. Being different is not being diagnosed though I was not truly diagnosed untill my late 40s by the gender clinic in London.

    My Mother wanted a girl but never treated me as one , she had in reality had one "Me". So me at the age of 6 maybe 5  I can just about remember the small clues such as wanting to play with girls things or just being with other girls. It was not a phase I was going through but it could have been because children do go through phases.

    Watching a video yesterday that was posted on GS I noticed an 8 year old slip up on her gender role. She was being questioned so I watched it again and then again , and just to be sure again. The childs face is not shown and the more I watched the more I thought this could be a child actors voice dubbed in. @ 1 Minute 8 Seconds in that video the child makes the mistake of misgendering herself. Children do make mistakes just as us adults do but to misgender yourself?. Was that a cock up by a child actresses voice?.

    Some parents hope for a boy yet have a girl and some hope for girl and have a boy. Some parents want the opposite gender so much they treat the child they have as the gender they wished for but did not have.

    It is totally wrong and immoral to treat a child as the opposite gender at an age when even a professional gender specialist could not make that decision. In todays world of modern medicine and professionals it is important to diagnose gender at the earliest possible time. If possible before puberty but not at 2 or 3 or even 7 or 8. This is just my own opinion but I think the age of 10 is an ideal time to intervene  before puberty sets in. So what do any of you think?.

      April 13, 2015 5:53 PM BST
  • Second video down. Listen to Jessica age 8 @ 1 Minute 8 Seconds.

      April 13, 2015 5:56 PM BST
  • I've misgendered myself, and I'm nearly 52. Was a couple of years ago though...

    I don't think it's wrong or immoral to allow a child to express themselves the way they feel, obviously it's something that must be dealt with very carefully. But to see parents these days allowing it shows to me a general acceptance of the true nature of gender dysphoria, namely that you are born with it.

    Is it not therefore wrong and immoral to force a child to live in discomfort, even extreme anxiety? They will never feel right, they will never be happy, I know how that felt.

    Journalists arguing against this are inclined to say, "What if it's just a phase, what if the child changes their mind..?"

    I believe a scenario where a child insists they want to live in the opposite gender, and then continues to do so permanently if allowed, and then later changes their mind, would be very, very rare indeed. The phases that kids go through are much more fickle than that, so to compare such an ongoing and serious insistance accompanied by obvious distress, with say - a short term love of a particular superhero or doll or whatever, is a feeble, strawman argument.

    I always knew. Most of us did. I wish I'd been allowed to live as a girl when I was young.

    For a parent to understand that about their child yet ignore the problem and allow their child to go on in misery, can't be considered great parenting.

    It's a difficult subject, no doubt fraught with difficulties. But young people kill themselves because they feel they can't go on being forced to live in a gender which they are not. All parents faced with this situation should consider the possibility of allowing their children to be themselves, in my opinion.


      April 13, 2015 8:15 PM BST
  • I agree Lucy that it is best to let a child be who they are then if it is a phase they will just grow out of it. It becomes immoral when it is the parents decision to push the child into thinking they are the opposite gender. If a child is told something enough they start to believe it.

    I can recall the discomfort I felt but for myself it was about the age of 10 that it started to affect me in such a way as to feel like a punishment. That punishment was me having to live as a boy and I was old enough then to know better because it had affected me for so long.


    Watching those videos close enough they are a set up. The 2 girls do not live together but are sharing the same house and the same toys in the film. It would have been far more natural to film it in their own rooms in their own homes. This is not just about those 2 though is it?. Some parents do choose their childs gender because of their own desires to have a child of the opposite gender.

    Girls toys are attractive to both child genders because they are bright in colours and so are clothes. Boys toys are weapons or video games full of weapons. Action Man would not be the same with a handbag and a magic wand instead of a gun and a back pack full of grenades . Whoops! Forgot the killer heelsSmile.


    It is best to watch children grow up and grow into things or out of things. No peer pressure just let them be and and if alarm bells are still ringing at the age of 9  to 10 then seek professional help. Some parents are coercing their children into what gender they want them to be at such a young age they grow up knowing nothing different. It maybe a minority but it is still wrong.


    Thank you for response and take care xx


    Its 9pm and I have 6 hours work to finish before midnight. I am so pleased I am a woman a man could never do thatSmile


      April 13, 2015 9:00 PM BST
  • 10 Minute break so let us think about this. A big room and in each corner there is a pile of toys and clothes. One corner is a pile of girls toys and clothes. Bright colours , pink red yellow purple and so on with some gender neutral lego added in for good measure.

    In the other corner is a pile of boys toys and clothes. Dull green action men and tanks and a few grey ships black jumpers T shirts grey trousers and so on with some gender neutral lego added too.


    Allow 100 boys in there aged between 2 and 5 years old one at a time . Which pile would they head for?. Because of the bright colours they would head for the girls corner. They would play with those girls toys and clothes but it would not make them transgender because if you let 100 girls in there just the same 1 at a time they would head for the girls pile too. What do you have?. 100 Boys and 100 Girls all attracted to the same items.


    Untill tomorrow good night xx


      April 13, 2015 10:52 PM BST
  • Good question, Julia. Big Hug, by the way.


    It sems fairly clear that children as young as two to three may suffer symptoms of gender dysphoria.  Now I should not have said 'suffer'.  I should have said 'experience' or 'display'  Howver, I believe that this may not be a true dysphoria that should be acted upon at this stage, whatever the intervention.  Better, maybe to take it slowly over time, observing how it develops.  Sometimes, it IS a phase which regresses.  Can you imagine how disastrous it might be for the child to rush in with psychological or endocrinologcal interventions until everything has become clear.


    Please understand that I am NOT dismissing the "I knew when I was born I was in the wrong body" experience.


    I am just very slow to accept 'attractive ' conclusions.


    Opinions, please!

      April 14, 2015 7:55 PM BST
  • I agree Amanda,   I was never attracted to girls toys bright, shiny or anything else.    Its the same with ambiguous, genitalia at birth, surgeons used to rush in to make it one or the other, now they tend to delay things until the subject displays some form of gender identy issues.

    Cristine Jennifer Shye.  B/L.  B/Acc
      April 14, 2015 8:34 PM BST
  • Hi Amanda.

    It is my opinion that a child has no symptoms of gender dysphoria untill they reach an age to understand the difference between a boy and a girl. Visually they can see a difference but it is not on their minds that much. All children are naturally curious. Being curious is not a symptom though is it?. Curiousity is a childs way of learning what is good or bad or nice or nasty and so on.

    Unless any child is in distress or showing real signs of being so uncofortable as the gender they are then they should be left alone to grow up and allowed to naturally go one direction or the other. If by the age of about 9 which is before puberty no one should encourage a childs gender to be the opposite . At that age if the child is naturally and alone is showing signs of being the opposite gender then a professional should diagnose not the parents. Any doctor or even parents can diagnose an illness such as flu but at the age as low as 2 or 3 or even 6 or 7 not diagnose gender dysphoria. It is far to early to make such a life changing decision based on what that child is attracted to. That is what these people are doing just observing attraction and then some are encouraging that attraction.


    I stated above that if a child is told something enough they do end up believing it to be true. I am 58 this year and as a child I was constantly being told I was thick by my teachers. I still to this day sometimes in conversation say I am thick. I know I am not the most intelligent person in the room but I am not thick. I was told just a few days ago I am the most intelligent thick person they had ever metSmile.


    Big hug back xx

    This post was edited by Former Member at April 14, 2015 8:55 PM BST
      April 14, 2015 8:50 PM BST
  • I should just add that from some of the things I have seen and read about mainly from the USA above are just my opinions.

    Myself having a troubled childhood caused mainly by my gender identity I personally would not want others to make a life changing decision for me if I was back at that age. I knew for sure at the age of about 10 and would have wanted to , given the chance been diagnosed at that age and been given some support . I also would have wanted on diagnosis been given testosterone blockers pre puberty given the chance.

    Me being the thick one in thisSmile you have to understand me to understand me and if you do not understand me then please do not give yourselves a headache over it.


    Take care x

      April 14, 2015 11:06 PM BST