Am I really a girl doctor or just nucking futs?

• Posted by Marissa Mallo, News Hound November 6, 2014 1,489 views
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  Well, here's that update I warned you about. Had my first meeting with my gender specialist. I like her a lot and she's one of the few gender specialist in Indiana. We actually had a video conference instead of my driving all the way to the other end of the state to meet her face to face. Her end of the video feed was great. My end, she said, not so much. I guess it was tough for her to see me at all (maybe a blessing in disquise). She asked me why I thought might be transgendered rather than just a garden variety crossdresser. When I told her that I first knew there was something "wrong" with me at age 4 and that I had broken mother's heart by asking for an "Easy Bake" oven rather that a Red Ryder BB gun when I was six, she just nodded her head and said "yeah, that's pretty early for anyone to know that they're different that other kids". She was very thorough and I have a ton of homework to do before our next appointment. My homework is in the form of writing my life's story up until now. She asked me what my intentions were and I told her that I would like to transition as far physically and mentally as is prudent for a girl my age. She asked if I had considered surgery. I said I had but I didn't know that since I was as old as methuzala's sister that might keep me from having it. She said that an orchiectomy would not be an problem for me. She also asked me about if I thought I wanted to be on hormone's in the future because she would have to refer me to an endocrinologist to get me started. After spending the hour talking, she said that she had a clear direction on where we should go from here and would like me to write about my life from beginning to now. I said that I would do that and I have been working on it but I have a long way to go before our next meeting at the end of November. I feeling pretty positive about this and can't wait to see what she has to say about my life thus far. It could be a mini-series on Oprah. I'm opening doors that have been locked tight for decades not just years and that is scaring the hell out of me. What if, after all this soul searching and self scrutiny, she says that I'm not transgendered, I'm just batshit crazy? Then what? I'm still looking for the right time to talk to my boss about my transition and all that that implies. My goal is to still have a job and a roof over my head when that talk is over. I keep coming back to Amy Hepker and how she suddenly ended up living in her car. I am NOT ready for that. I feel terrible she is in that situation.  That thought keeps me up at night sometimes. Wish me luck and tune in often because this soap opera gets better as it goes along. I'll keep you posted. I wonder when I have the orchiectomy if that will make me less "nuts" mentally.