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Coming Out to Long-time Friends
This has been something I have been dreading for a long time. I found that it has been much easier to come out to friends that I've only recently met, than to come out to long-time friends. I have waited to tell my long-time friends and family until I am absolutely sure of going forward with my transition. This weekend, the stars aligned perfectly. I would be with some of my closest friends on Friday and Saturday, and later with my brother, so I figured it's now or never.
As you probably know by now, I've worked a good part of my adult life as a professional musician, some full-time but mostly part-time. Friday night, I was working with my very close friends, Rusty, Molly, and Fred. Rusty and I have been playing together, off and on, since 1977, and we have been very close friends ever since. I've known his wife, Molly since before they were married, and I've worked with Fred since the early nineties. I waited until after the gig, when we were finished packing and loading the equipment, to have my "little talk" with them. To say I was nervous is an understatement. I guess it came as quite a shock to them, but the first thing Rusty said was to the effect that we'd been friends for so long, and he's not gonna let a "little thing like gender" come between us, and that he's there for me if ever I need him. Molly's reaction was priceless: "we need to go shopping!" Fred's reaction was pretty much the same as Rusty's. That was really a load off my mind.
Saturday afternoon I had my usual first Saturday afternoon of the month, playing with my good friends Angie and her sister, Terrie. Again the support was instant and gratifying. Andie's response was "I knew something was up when you got here wearing nail polish!" Fact is that I've been wearing nail polish every day for the last few weeks, that I'd forgotten that I was wearing it. (lol)
As is usual after the first Saturday, I went to see my brother after the gig. He lives fairly close to the venue, so I do that whenever I don't have a night gig afterwards. I didn't wait to bring up the subject. I told him about it as soon as I got there. I started by saying "Ric, I have something very important to talk to you about, and it doesn't involve money." Then I told him about my plans to transition. His reaction was "Oh, OK." Then within a few minutes, he said, "What do think about the Mets getting Cespedis?" That's the way Ric & I communicate, we get past the important stuff a quickly as possible and then get into the small talk. It's worked for the last 66 years, why should it change? The most important part was that he has no problem with me using the family name. In the near future, I'll be changing my name on GS and FB to reflect my birth last name. As an added bonus, I get to keep my initials, DAF. Just changing first and middle names from "David Arthur" to "Daphne Anne."
So as you can see, it's been a very important weekend. I am very glad I got all of this taken care of and I can move on with the business of my transition. I still have a few important people to tell, such as my children, but if they don't like it, I can handle it. I know I have some of the best friends, especially my brother, in the whole world. I am truely blessed.
