|
|
|
Notifications
|
|
|
|
Where does one start wine one is looking at the dark depths of a wine glass and reflecting on the recent past, Well where else but with a blog post.
So here is the blog post in question, I do not expect it will bring any world shattering revelations but perhaps I can find some clarity in spilling all my thoughts out on the page. If nothing else it will kill the other half of the bottle of wine.
This year has been a horrid year the contracting market was up and down so fast it left me feeling sea sick, it also as a side effect meant that when i was in contract the money was good but the next day i could be out of that contract so the stability was shocking. The further effect of the unstable market place meant that this girl had to pack up her keyboard and go such places as Basingstoke and Reading for work. One hotel is really just as bad as another especially when you a overweight, transgendered women who doesn't pass at closer than 100 yards.
The situation became much worse when i went permanent then i was still rushing off all over the UK but for there clients. At about the same time i started to get bad infections which culminated in a stay in hospital, at least they put me on the women's ward. Having traced the infection problems eventually to a stricture in my very tiny sticky out boy bit – I'm not joking its about 3 inch's at most after years of hormones and T blockers, did i mention that i hate it , no i don't hate it , i despise it , it is like fungus growing on my body it should not be there.
The pain can be so bad when using the loo that even with codeine and several neurological pain blockers i can be found curled up on the bathroom floor in tears of pain screaming i wished i was dead, that’s on a better day.
Did i mention it has been a hard year? I'm sure i did.
Relationship wise I'm still with my partner, the only problem being I'm quite submissive in a C/DD type of way, which makes me hard work to be with even if i try my hardest to behave and not be demanding. I can be a bad girl.
My partners folks after having to visit me in hospital , now know I'm Katie were as before we had never told them and gone out of my way to not put them in a position were we had to discuss this. In truth they have been very supportive and i wish my own folks had handled it so well.
Work – well work what have i not said well i guess i have not said how bone wearying and tiring it is trying to juggle being in immense amounts of pain most of the time and being a world class consultant who brings value to her clients.
I am supposed to have a operation next year, i do not have a date yet but what they will do is move the urethra and make a new hole, the thought of anyone just touching that organ makes me cringe so hard. I will have to have a catheter for 10 days which will mean i will have to look after the very thing i hate t hat awful organ for 10 days.
Well the wine is drunk ; i think its time i post this.
good night all and happy new year.
Love
Katie
