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I have left this too long, but I only decorated my Xmas Tree a day or two ago. Things continue to progress wonderfully in my life, but it required a lot of work from me in December. My car died 1/4 mile after I drove it the first time, but it's only a shorted alternator. Will try to get it fixed tommorow. "God willin' and the River don't rise"...oh, thats right we have flash flood warnings in the County.
THANKSGIVING WEEKEND 2004 When last we left Wendy Larsen she was busy making a large hole in our paycheck at Lydia's TV Fashions boutique in Sherman Oaks, CA. I learned that day to never trust her with a paycheck (no I didn't but that is a topic for later in the blog). It was getting late on Thanksgiving Eve but Jeri and Kelly enthusiastically helped Wendy find a wig.....yes, I know she was only there to buy her Hussy's, but.....well they tried a couple wigs and then decided on the right one for Wendy, I loved it. It turned out later to be the one I had picked online in the exact length and color. A fun wig, not a "passer" but it was my first wig ever and I loved it. It was a Garland CW224 "Woman Warrior",how appropopriate, 24" in vanilla blonde. http://garlandbty.com/ww4.htm (you may notice a passing resemblance to my Trannyweb Icon's hairstyle) It was definitely not looking to be a dress-to-pass-look weekend at home. No problem, give "Him" a thrill and "we" can work out a mutually rewarding weekend for "the twins". A quick persual of my wallet revealed that I still had a few dollars... so a pair of rhinestone clip-on earrings went into the bag. The strange thing was that I was not the least bit upset at spending all that money, which I could ill afford. I was happy about it....there it is again! Their work well done, Jeri and Kelly headed home for a well deserved rest....but faced more work at home preparing for Turkey Day, I fear. Wendy headed home for a few days of en femme alone.....but first......a stop at Big Lots to buy bubble bath, scented scrub, makeup, candles. Then to the supermarket for some wine and pecan pie, egg nog and other tasties.
HOME ALONE....a nice hot shower and lavender scrub all over and shampoo and rinse followed by manicure/pedicure and bright red nails appropriate to my new CFM boots (I was out of my usual clothing code and might as well go with it) and then a touch of Opium perfume behind the ears, scented candles, scented bubble bath, ,, a slice of pecan pie with a glass of egg nog followed by raspberry zinfandel in a long-stemmed, crystal, wine glass, Carly Simon music, fired up the Jacuzzi, added a generous helping of scented bubble bath and climbed in with a copy of MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS (How totally Wendy a book that is!) A slow long soak, and read, at times my red toenails peeking from the foam and bubbles or my leg dangling on the side of the tub, scrumptious pie and a delicious, fruity wine, scent of Opium, vanilla and citrus in the air....peaceful, quiet, still except for Carly's voice floating down the hallway "That's the way I always heard it should be.....you want to marry me....." I was wrapped in a world of sensuality more intense than any I had ever experienced...or perhaps experiencing it more intensely than ever before. Just experiencing...completely passive....then...floating out of the book and into a dreamlike state into which a strange fantasy flowed....an alien fantasy from where? There was no sexual arousal, just hedonistic total absorption in the sensual world I had created for only myself. I had no conscious thought of having a fantasy...it just came to me like a spirit in the semi-darkness; perhaps it came down from the attic too...where Wendy had lingered all those years, Her secret fantasy while all alone, those lonely years, unnoticed by her Twin.
. I was a young married woman and off the Pill, my husband and I wanted a baby....suddenly he stood by the jacuzzi and when I looked at him I saw him with that woman's eyes, and heart and soul and I loved him and I wanted that baby. I sipped the wine, smiled and invited him in to "make us a baby". In he came and it was wonderful....but not the sexual experience of earlier, CD days. It was full of strange new and wonderful emotions of love and desire to be a mother. Slow and sensuous and not even orgasmic...not in the usual sense, but wild, new, intense, physical and emotional responses I did not know before. Any sound, scent, touch of warm porcelin or water jet, ripple in the bubbles, brush of my arm against my body, my nipple (Oh!) would send shivers through me, both mental and physical.....there was no sexual touching yet every inch of my skin was aroused at a level I had never experienced... I was certain I was completely, mentally en femme because I had become that wife and "He", my male Twin, was gone, not a trace, not a hesitation or hint of aversion to that man, my Love. Afterward I lay in the foaming bubbles, feeling like them, having repeated tremors of some alien orgasm that filled my whole body. I was so happy. I knew I was pregnant and I loved my husband who I could feel warm against me and in me. I don't know how long I lay in the Aftermath before he faded away and I came back into this world. That is when I cried. For the first time in my life I was totally aware of what I had missed and would never have. Of how much I wanted to be a genetic girl. Of how much of Wendy there was and how intense she was. I cried in pain for what I completely accepted about myself....and embraced Wendy, my femaleness, totally without Him-twin making a sound; He must have tiptoed away at some point. Yet it was still wonderful because I had journeyed to a place I did not know I could go or that was even there. Another eruption had occured at Mt. Wendy, my active TG, and more femme-magma had covered the landscape of my Self with a layer that would always remain.
After the bath, I enjoyed choosing an outfit, easy to do, a black velvet minidress and patent thigh high stretch top boots, black stockings, invisible above the boots. Omg, did the patent next to the velvet send mixed messages. Turned a Holiday party look minidress with black flowers on the round high collar into a HOT outfit for clubbing. Not slutty, but hot. Putting on makeup, a task I enjoy, but I had gotten too dark a foundation, beige not ivory, and it didn't work. Well, we learn by our mistakes and I will keep it for shading my face as I try more advanced makeup techniques to narrow my jaw and nose appearance. The lights will be low tonight anyway. Jewlery, a gold chain necklace against the black dress with dangling gold earrings and my new bracelets in natural, dark brown and black wooden beads.
Dinner was a special garlic and herb marinated chicken, the finest in Los Angeles, with sinful garlic spread, Not traditional but my favorite chicken and I didn't have to cook Thanksgiving dinner this way. Then soft candlelight backed by illumination through the window, from outside lights, and dance music with some more wine. Dancing more relaxed than I ever did as Him. Looser, flowing with the music. Continuing to enjoy the mindset I had reached in the Jacuzzi. Wishing briefly I had left the car in the back alley so that I could go for a drive in the late hours, but.....too much wine anyway....too much to risk so close to moving into my own place. A great evening and my new boots, a size smaller than I would have chosen, fit so well and were pleasant to wear. All I missed was my TW gf....or better still..my male friend, from the UK, to dance with. I know I would be waiting for the slow dances to start 
Well, a girl can dream.
If I only had this day, it would have been more than enough....except it may never again be enough.
* * *
26th Nov (Friday)
I had a wonderful two days of stress free shopping and Wendy-time. Redressed this morning in an ankle length stretch light jersey black skirt with abstract flower print in green, purple and gold. Top is black, round neckline, dagged sleeves and waistline and hangs outside the dress; under it a black bra, panties, lace garter belt and stockings and 4" black sandles. Brown, black and natural wood beaded bracelets and a green malechite necklace with very 60-70's multi strand earrings in amber, green, etc stones with metal bits mixed in. And, of course, my vanilla blonde wig .Earth color/metallics makeup but toned down and a dusting of gold powder n the eyelids. Highlight Bronze lipstick...actually a rich brown gold shiny. Dressy enough to go out partying but not as wicked as last nights black velvet minidress and patent thigh high stretch top boots.
I'm finishing off my garlic marinated chicken right now. Hanging out on TW. Unless I hear from roommates soon, will have to go en homme as they could be home in afternoon. But a day alone, doing normal daily things, except house cleaning was done before I started the weekend, so just dishes here and there. Not even cooking to do. Mostly "office work" at the computer and socializing with friends. A peaceful relaxing day that I dream of making typical before too long.
Called them. They are staying over until Saturday...will be home in the afternoon. Life is good.
* * *
27 November (Saturday)
My vanilla blonde wig again. (Have to look at getting one with reddish-brown hair. Right now it is in two pony tails, tied off by red elastics near my ears, showing my gold, hanging earrings and hanging down the front, loose, over my breasts. I'm enjoying my last day alone here. I'm in a hot, red-orange-denim minidress that comes about three inches above my knee, ((just covering the tops of my new boots that are black patent stretch top 2" platforms with 6" chunky heels.and my black garter belt straps and stockings)) , and it has black snaps up the front, got it unsnapped open showing just the top of my black, lacy bra and I have on a double strand necklace of black beads around my throat and have triple strand bracelets of wooden beads in natural, brown and black on both wrists; black and silver rings. . My nails are still bright red, close to the dress color. Wish I could go out clubbing in it....thinking of someone special. Enjoying my day, chatting with my friends. Being me.
Getting close to time to send Wendy back up to the attic. I don't want to! I don't want to go back to being Him. I'm happy, content, I'm Right. I have to change. I have to get back in male drag....they could come home soon. Not yet, not yet. It's getting later, I have to stop being Wendy. Just a little longer, please, a few minutes,.....now ,I'm near tears...stop your mascara will run....WHO CARES! It's coming off isn't it? Who cares if they find out? I won't change for them. I won't stop being me. Let them find out and let them deal with it. Now I am crying. He isn't fighting for existance, Wendy is. He isn't fighting. Just....you have to, you can't risk it until you move into your own place. IT'S NOT FAIR! No, Sis, it's not but.....We have to do what is necessary...it won't be long now...a couple months....just go back upstairs....we'll go shopping again...soon. I WONT GO, I WONT BE PUT AWAY. The makeup is a lost cause by now, a bandana soaked with tears. I DON'T CARE. i WONT STOP BEING ME. Of course you won't.....you're growing every week and I promise you will have more time....trust me. You do it, I can't....... He gently undresses his Twin, wipes her face and runs a hot shower, leaving the lavender scrub to clean away the last of Wendy's tracks from their face. Somber but with another experience that cannot be denied. The future is changing. The past is resurfacing. We are becoming who we were meant to be. Wendy will sleep and wake with a smile, remembering this weekend, and living on, in drab, but....Alive.
End of Thanksgiving Weekend. Next blog will cover to around New Years Day.
