I won't usually share work correspondence, technically it's a breach of policy but I've felt so much support I thought I would share some of that experince. I'm 42, 6ft tall and with a weathered face and work directly.with the general public and in a playwork capacity with pre and primary school aged children.
This is a letter I emailed to my employer....
Sorry for the delay in replying. It has not been an easy week. I thought I would write this down, as I get so much more across that way. I would like to follow up this email with a meeting at the earliest convenience.
As you will recall from your visit on the 18th May, as a friend, I disclosed to you that I had sought a referral through my GP for assessment at a Gender Identity Clinic. You may also have noticed that I was wearing womens clothing. This is now everyday for me and I have a rising comitment to express and protect my perceived gender identity. As part of this I have decided and acted upon changing both my name and title to female representions. My legally recognised name is Miss Andie-Priscilla Swainson. I.have changed my name and title by deed poll and think it is the norm that you see sight of the Deed Poll. I am in the process of informing my health, social security, tax details and electoral register, as well as banking and all other contracts. My preference is to be called Andie. I am taking these steps as I have a lifelong conviction that, despite the obviousness of my body, I am female.
There are changes that in due course, I would like the staff to be aware of. I wish within the workplace, both in my presence and absence to be refered to, where pronouns are used, by female representations. Given some of the knowledge and conviction of my perceived identity, you may be able to see how being refered to in a male context causes me distress.
It is my immediate intention to fully transition to live openly as a woman in all aspects of life and will also be considering physically transitioning in full or part after appropriate assessment.
I have attached a copy of The Gender Identity Research and Education Society's guidelines for employers with regards to supporting transgendered individuals and also a copy of the Stonewall Scotland/Scotish transgender Alliance guidelines, as they were recommended to me as the best example. I have not fully digested the advice but have begun to do so.
As I am not currently able to physically transition, as I must first be appropriately diagnosed and refered for treatment, I do feel a strong need to move forward and continue becoming more open within the world. I recognise that this will bring some challenges but am already confidently confronting some of that in my day to day life out and about in my home village in a calm and positive manner.
If you feel it appropriate,I am open to not working before meeting to follow up this email but have had a friendly response from the general public over the two Saturdays that I part worked. I am enjoying being back at the Hub and confident in my role. I am finding it tiring but it has been a positive experience.
As mentioned at the beginning, I would like to follow this up with a meeting as soon as is practical to do so.
and this was her reply ♥
Hi Andie,
Thank you for your email and thank you for your openness and clarity about your gender identity.
As your employer and manager I will to support you in the workplace in any way I can and have already begun to ensure we have the right policies in place that supports transgender effectively. Thank you for the documents you sent over, these have been very helpful too.
A meeting is really essential so we can both ensure that our approach is the same and we both have the opportunity to ask questions.
I am available for a meeting either Monday 8th Tuesday 9th or Wednesday 10th June, say 11am? Do you have a preference of where to meet? Please let me know.
I am happy for your to work as agreed this Saturday without meeting you first, unless you have any specific issues you wish to discuss beforehand? If this is the case, please contact me before I leave today at 3pm. After 3pm you can contact me on my mobile which is
Please let me know about a meeting next week – preferred date, time and location.
I look forward to seeing you and hope you have a nice sunny weekend!
Feeling so blessed
♥ sometimes things can work out just fine ♥
Good luck Andie. I hope there are protections in place and things work out. A lot has changed since I first attempted back in the late 90's. There is a lot more awareness.
congratulations Andie, that gives me some courage to face the up coming challenges I have ahead in the future. :-)
Emma there has been a lot of significant changes in UK Equality law over the past couple of years and transitioning is a protected characteristic. I'm read read reading and Learning about my rights is really boosting my confidence. My employer has known me for ten years. We have a great professional relationship but I also consider her a personal friend. She has always lead the way to being a shining example of employment practices and a lady who is inspirational in her approach to people. I will have more updates on Monday after our meeting ♥
{{{{Andie}}}}} Darling, you are so lucky. I only issued caution due to my own experience. I came out to my employer back in 1999. They said that they would help me and support me. I was then let go. They tried to say that it was just a temporary position. Of course, the CFO slipped when I pointed out all that I had installed and how were they going to support all of it. He said, they would have to hire someone. Whoops. I had exhorbitant child support as well as rent and other expenses and I ended up out of work for over six months. I finally felt beaten and reverted to being Ed. Funny, the day I gave up, I was hired at a new place. I am still at that job. Fortunately, I work from home now, so I can dress as I choose.
Congratulations and many happy days ahead! : )
Your situation sounds blessed. Best of luck and congratulations!!
xoxo
Liv
Liv, I.feel.so good I'm crying. When this was all starting to come out a few months back, I handed my notice in, to spare them as such. I got a letter straight back telling me to take time to reconsider and how valued I am. This whole last year I have been underperforming due to stress and depression but still they stand by me. True love X
