I am so happy for you. I may never know what you feel. I feel trapped at this time. Locked into this image that people want me to be. The other problem is that in this image, I am highly successful. I am well respected and people have high expectatins of the things I can do. Little do they know that behind the scenes, I am a woman. Of course that is the quandry isn't it? I cannot be me, ever, or I lose everything that I have now. So I live with chronic depression but put on that smiling face. No wonder Robin Williams was one of my idols. Of course, we see what happened to him and I have to wonder how long....
Glad to hear you are doing so well. names are funny things..Every Transwomen goes though this ..just a thought though ..if you dont like the tom boy of Andie [ even though there is Andie MacDowell..wonder if in time you will find people and yourself using another form from Andie-Priscilla [ as this might be a bit long , formal :-)].There are 38 English forms of Priscilla.Its part of the female perogative to be able to choose an alternative name.
Hi Emma,
You are right about the quandry. You only have to consider Caitlyn Jenner.and the quote she made when considering if she died without showing her true self and making that journey it would have been a life wasted.We all have our own lifes and different circumstances. For many like me and you , we have that mental dependence on things of people expecting so much of us.-My life only starting getting better when I started to questions those expectations if they where going to eventually make me an angry worse person that wanted to disengage with a false reality.This is the nasty side of Dysphoria which robs a human of the time and ability to communicate and help those we love close to us. The alternative is to go on that journey for a meaningful life .First step ,stop smiling and saying you are alright IF you DONT FEEL, -get rid of this first of many lies , and start to say how you feel. which is real.Long term this is going to be better for any relationship you have.. -Andie Priscilla is right to give a title keeping it real. Otherwise consider some quotes by Andy Warhol on Change. I am off now got some work to do Donna
When I first began my journey back in the late 90's, I chose Felicity Aine. Felicity was the image of me that loved rose gardens, tea parties and entertaining. Always light flowing dresses. As I grew stronger, Emma became the name. Emma was derived from Emma Peel (Diana Rigg) from the Avengers. I always loved her catsuits and wanted to be her when I was a kid. Of course, back then I didn't know about Gender Dysphoria, I thought I was just weird. Morgaine, was a nod to my learning about the Druids during that time. My psych told me we had to break me down and get rid of all the things that I was because of what others expected or wanted me to be, and find who I truly was. One of the first things that was jettisoned was the need to be Catholic. I was almost pushed into the priesthood. I am still a spiritual person, though these days find it hard to believe in a loving God.
it is best to be yourself
just like me every night I go to bed wearing a bra and breastforms and my nightie. I'm beginning to feel that my male persona is when I crossdress.