So I've been quite deep in the closet about my gender concerns.  I've been confused about this for better than 50 years, but more recently hae been acting out - but still deep in the closet.  For many months I've been using phytoesgtrogens in capsule and liquid form and am noticing some real soreness at my areolas.  I'm not sure how much of my moobs are more than man boobs.  It's hard to tell when your 75 pounds overweight!

So, again, I'm totally covert; in hiding; under wraps; yada yada.  This is mainly due to my DW being totally non-supportive and extremely closed minded. Lo and behold, this morning a accidentally left my "Subliem Bust" out in the open and she found it.  Oh boy!  She went totally POSTAL!! "She can't live like this."  "Do I want to transition?"  "You've been lying to me." 

She wants to know if I crossdress.  I said I did many years ago.  Now I have to race home and get rid of all my lengerie, heels, etc. 

My therapist warned me that eventually we closet dwellers get found out.  I texted her about how right she was and I'd say we have an agenda for my next appointment.  

I don't want a divorce.  Please, ladies, advise me.

Thanx

Apologize for not telling her.  I think it is much better if you can tell your wife first.  Though I admit that is very hard to do.  Ideally I think it would be best to tell them before the marriage.  But if you are like me you probably thought the marriage would help you stop.

You do need to talk to her when she is calm.   I would be sure not to lie.  Chances are you are not going to quit.   You do not want to be caught again.   I would suggest not pressing her to accept this, just try for toleration.  Be honest but also understanding.  She married a man who now likes to present as a female.   I have crossdressed off and on (fighting with self acceptance for many years) but do not and will not transition.   Your wife needs to know you have no intentions either (assuming you don't)

For my wife it was a struggle with trust probably more so than the clothes.  Though she did not (and still does not) want to see me dressed.   I do not hid my clothes.  That way I am not going behind her back.  I now dress in 'lightly female clothes in front of her.  Not all the time.  Not even most of the time.  By light I mean capris, tees and leggings.  

Good luck to you and I do hope this works out for you.   It is not as big an issue as most people want to make it.  Yet the lost trust is a big issue.

Thanx for the infput.  It's going to be a process.  Stay tuned.