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  • Topic: Forced Out

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    • July 15, 2016 8:18 AM BST
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      Hiya, y'all!!! I recently came out as transgender to some of my friends although it was never my intent to do so yet. Sure I was thinking about coming out to one friend just so I could have someone to talk to face to face, but each time I would set a date to do it, I kept missing the opportunity for reason or another. It got me thinking that maybe I wasn't meant to come out yet. In the meantime I had created Twitter and Instagram accounts to talk to other people in the trans community with the hope that it would someday give me the courage to come out to my friends and family. Well, last week I got a scare on my Instagram account when someone who I went to college with started following me. I panicked a little, but I came to the conclusion that I barely knew her, and so she might not recognize me. A couple of days pass, and I get another follower from my college. I didn't panic this time since again I didn't know her that well although I knew her better than the last follower from college. However, the next day, my Instagram followers increased by six, and this time they were all people I knew very very well. I was so scared that my hands were shaking. I was out, and I didn't even plan it this way.

       

      I would later receive a Facebook message (under my birth name) from a friend to warn me that she had received an Instagram notification of my new account. I have three Instagram accounts, two for my art and the other to be my true self, and only the account for my art is linked to a Facebook account. This new Instagram account was linked up to my Facebook without my knowledge. I did find the link and shut it down, but I have no idea how many of my friends found out that I was transgender through Instagram.

       

      Two of my friends left supportive comments on my Instagram including one who not only referred to me as "girl" for the first time, but she offered to help me get in touch with other transgenders in my area. Although this was not how I had planned to come out there was a sense of relief as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I am looking at this whole ordeal as a blessing in disguise. It's unfortunate that my friends had to find out that way especially when I wanted to do it face to face, but they have been so supportive and understanding. It brought tears to my eyes.  

       

      I haven't heard from anymore of my friends, and so I think that I may have succeeded in cutting the link.

      This post was edited by Jennifer Wright at July 15, 2016 2:30 PM BST
    • July 15, 2016 2:32 PM BST
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      Soemtimes things happen for good reasons - all the best in this - and many good and true friends in time. 
    • July 17, 2016 2:08 PM BST
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      Welcome to the Society! That is an intriguing story and precisely why I do not use social media on the internet. My first girlfriend used the internet to stalk me in the past under a psydonym. She befriended me under a false identity, charmed and flirted with me, and manipulated a wealth of information out of me when I wasn't supposed to be talking to her anymore, and it left an impression on me as to the lack of privacy availed to anyone who posts anything on social media. It's just so easy to create alter egos and lie as there are no laws regulating how people use the internet, but thank goodness cyberbullying laws now exist. If anyone ever gets too out of hand or abusive, there might be some options in regard to having them charged with assualt or have their accounts restricted. Nevertheless, coming out on social media is always tough as people tend to share, gossip, and spread everything like wildfire. It seems that your friends were proud of your transition and wanted to be supportive of your new lifestyle. I'm in the same boat, but I'm just at the beginning of this excursion in that I've haven't started HRT or dress differently in public or anything. I just started taking an inventory of some habits, thoughts, and desires which I tried to ignore for the longest time, and the culmination all seemed to point to one ultimate conclusion. I even used to think to myself very often, "If I were a woman, this wouldn't have happened, that wouldn't have happened, I would've been treated better, etc." I was always ashamed of being this sort of noticably intersexed individual, and it's always been an isolating existence especially in terms of a love life. I've been open about this with two people in my life, and they really don't see me any differently. My one friend kind of suggested that I might've been trans as we used to talk about this compulsions together, but I had given it a great deal of thought way before that anyway. If all else fails with social media, you could always suspend those accounts and limit your trans interactions with us if you wanted. You know that you won't be judged here unfairly as we're all relatively in the same, highly exclusive populous with similar dispositions and obstacles. Until then, I say just keep moving along! I've learned a lot just by speaking with the members here over the last month, and chances are you'll be able to find someone who can identify with any number of experiences that you've had too! *hugs*

       

      Dana!!

      This post was edited by Dana L. at July 17, 2016 2:09 PM BST

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