Let’s see, how to get this in to something shorter than a book . . .

I have from time to time enjoyed cross-dressing for many years but in the past usually as a kink. I am not transsexual or a candidate for any sort of permanent body modification.

I knew my inner girl as my anima long before she came out in this way. She has been suppressed (but not repressed or denied) for a number of years for practical reasons. Just recently she came roaring back in to my consciousness like a lioness and is here to stay. I am still reeling from the shock but very happy about it.

I am a man attracted only to women (well, nobody is 100% anything but I am over 95%). I do not hate my male self and am comfortable with him, too. Rick is often a protective big brother to Rachel. I didn’t realize until recently that some people would count me as transgender, but I’m ok with that. I suppose you could say that I am bigender but not bisexual.

I have never gone out, but I have never really applied myself to being able to either. Whether I might pass is not the most important thing. I do want to have a life en femme though; I yearn to have sisters and express myself as a woman. But, it can’t be exclusively. Parts of my life must stay en drab or I would lose too much. At this point in my life (age 59). compromises make more sense than they used to.

Dressing femme excites me - but usually not in a sexual way. I am still a sexual being but that is not at the forefront of my aims. The most important thing is how my girl lives in my heart, mind and soul. (I am sometimes able to be her even when dressed as a man.) She is not a plaything but an crucial part of me who will not be denied.

What do I get out of it? I get to give my masculine side a rest for a while. I LOVE the freedom to be submissive, pliant, and anxious-to-please. When I am alone, I love fantasies of being beautiful and desirable.

Well, I guess that’s enough for now, I’m looking forward to getting to know everybody. I’m starting almost from scratch so I will need all the big sisters I can find!

Love

Welcome to the club Rachel.

I might be an exception. I have compromized all my life and now it is over. I´m in the middle of my transition at the age of 58.
We all have our paths to go.

Laura

Rachel - welcome - you're among friends - your story rings true to many of us.
Jillian

Welcome Rachel. There are lots of like minded folk here. Just join in and add your ideas to the melting pot.