April 14, 2005 5:32 PM BST
April 14, 2005 7:46 PM BST
Hi Andrea-
Please listen to Meredith, don't throw away your clothes and wigs and makeup the next time you decide to purge, pack them carefully and neatly in a large cardboard box and mail them to me. I'll be happy to send you my address offlist. What size do you wear, hon, just out of curiosity?
Oh, I'm only kidding. Seriously, Andrea, the advice that Shan, Linda, Karen and Meredith have given you is some of the best advice you're going to get because it's advice from people who lived it and who have gone through and are going through what you are going through. Personally I have purged so many times it's not even funny, when I think of all the cute outfits I've tossed into dumpsters in the middle of the night I could just cry. If I had kept them all I'd have a huge wardrobe, a little dated maybe, but still.
Hon, you can't change who you are deep inside. Yes, you can fight it off, you are the master (mistress?) of whether you express those feelings or not. You can choose never to dress again and you may be able to white knuckle it out for the rest of your life, but those feelings won't go away, no matter how hard you try. One of the hardest things we can do and one of the best is to accept ourselves for who we are. There is nothing in and of itself about being TG that is harmful to ourselves or others. It's only when we choose to deny and hide who we are that the harm is done.
Andrea, in my opinion TW is probably the best place on the web to get advice about TG issues from people who really know what they're talking about. I'm not saying we're always right and I'm not saying that someone couldn't take exception to the things I just said or that Shan, Linda, Karen and Meredith have said, they're only our opinions based on the experiences we have lived through. I hope you'll stick around, if nothing else you will find that you have moved to a higher and more informed level of confusion.<lol>
Hugs, Joni from Oregon
April 15, 2005 12:53 AM BST
some good advice there i think, andrea. not much i can add but i want you to know that you're not alone, there are lots of us out there.
as has been said, there is nothing wrong with crossdressing, it's just a form of self-expression, so enjoy it and don't feel ashamed or guilty about it. it is a natural part of you, be happy to be yourself.
xx
Andrea, give her more time. For a while there I went through something similar with my wife, although I never moved out. My forum posts and blogs have detailed all this so I won't be repeating it. Right now if not talking about it with your wife is the best way, then follow that path. She may bring it up on her own when she's more comfortable discussing the topic.
Not to promote deception, but if you really want to receive mail to "Andrea," can you take out a post office box? But, again, this could backfire if found out.
Stepping out of the closet is such a huge move. I'm still mostly inside it, and I doubt I'll ever be fully out because of my own personal situation. As Sandra always points out, once you're out you can't undo it.
Take care and let us know how else we can help. If anything, please stay here at TW and talk about it. We'll listen.
May 18, 2005 10:49 PM BST
andrea honey, i know we've had our differences in the past and i admit i have said some pretty harsh things...but i want you to know that despite what's happened, i want you to know that if you EVER need any advice then i will be more than willing to give it to you.that's a PROMISE!..love and xxxxxx anna-marie
May 18, 2005 10:49 PM BST
andrea honey, i know we've had our differences in the past and i admit i have said some pretty harsh things...but i want you to know that despite what's happened, i want you to know that if you EVER need any advice then i will be more than willing to give it to you.that's a PROMISE!..love and xxxxxx anna-marie
