December 10, 2005 12:40 PM GMT
I agree, Laura. I find it a little surprising that anyone would talk with exactly the same voice after transition. Our voices are, fundamentally, instruments of expression. Why should it be an exception from the other ways of feigning an enforced male attitude ?
Still, I guess, in general, my voice isn't that different even though I am much more relaxed. But when I'm at home and alone there are some spontaeous expressions that simply makes me feel good - sighs, chuckles and laughter...
I really don't think I'm pretending. It simply feels too good.
Only an hour ago I met a guy outside the building where I have my studio. He has his guitar workshop just by the entrance. Now, I was wearing some tight jeans and a soft pink winter jacket, but had made no real attempt at passing. I must admit I was a bit startled when he suddenly came out as I approached the entrance door. I relaxed when I recognized him. We had a short chat. I was glad. In some sense I had outed myself without uttering a word. In summer he asked me why I wasn't taking part in the parade... So, he most probably is gay. He might still think I'm gay, but I'm sure I have pushed him into a deeper understanding... And we'll meet again.
When I came inside I laughed, and was really surprised at the high, but soft pitch of my...
hihis...
and my vocal cords soo relaxed. I let myself loose once more - and there it was again...
hihi...
Now, I don't think I would have been doing that if I had met him with a "take it or leave it" attitude. Instead, I wore that soft pink jacket.
Linda