Although my wife knew all about me (and cited in the divorce) I am not sure how to tell my son who is 23..

Hi Nigella
This can be a difficult one. When I told my wife about my cross dressing she said that she had known for years. She then told me to tell my son and daughter. They both live at home and at that time were 29 and 24 respectively. I had no time to prepare anything to say to them so I came straight out with the fact that I had since I was 14 been a crossdresser. My daughter thanked me for telling them but the son flipped his lid and said that I had lied to him all of his life. True - I suppose by not telling them I had lived a lie all of his life. However in time he came around.

As for me becoming a transsexual I toild all of the family in the same way - a letter posted in block to all near family members so that they should all find out at about the same time allowing for a good poastal delivery. Excellent responses from father, sister and brother but nothing back from wife, son or daughter. I live in hope but as I left their mother over 9 months ago I'm not surprised that they have sided with her.

Hope my experience helps you.

Alina xx

I also have not told my son. Although it does not trouble me much, he does have comments in the summer when I wear shorts and my hairless tanned legs are exposed. Gotta use the old favorites, swimming, biking, lol.

Well,done at last. I don't know where it will lead but at least I am honest.

Hi NIgella-

I agree with Sandra, certainly at least about asking yourself why you feel you want to tell him. I'm guessing that he must already know, perhaps from what happened during your divorce or for other reasons and you want to tell him your side of it and explain how you feel. If you believe he already knows and you feel a tension between you, then I believe that honesty is the best policy.

You're the only one that can decide how to broach the matter and what to tell him. A lot depends on what kind of relationship you have with your son, how close you are, how open and receptive he is to other lifestyles and so on. And of course, how confidential do you want him to be about it? Is he married, will he tell his wife, will she tell others, like family members and friends? There are lots of ramifications and only you can decide whether to do it or not. Everytime you tell someone, no matter how much you trust them, there is the chance that they will tell someone else, in total confidence, of course, and soon others whom you had no intention at all of letting in on your secret will know.

Just so you know, I am in kind of the same situation. I have a son who just turned 18 and still lives at home (working on that one, though)<g> and I am fairly sure he knows but has not asked outright. So until he does, I choose not to put it in his face but to let him pick the time, if he ever does. If the question does come up, I will be as honest with him as I can but only give him the information he seems to want. There is such a thing as telling too much. And, if I think he can handle, it I would show him a picture or two, nice tasteful ones, of me so he doesn't have any Jerry Springer type ideas in his head.

Sorry to ramble on so, it's a complicated question in a way and one I have thought about dealing with also. I'm sure lots of the other girls, ones who have been throught it, will have some helpful advice to add. Good luck, Nigella.

Hugs...Joni