Skirt Lover

Well that's a new one on me, but any way of coming out has to be better than hiding!!! LOL Way to go!

*hugs*

~Valerie

I had never seen my sister for ten years, and whern we were reunited, I told her I liked wearing women's clothes.

She had never suspected while we were children, and I used to wear her clothes.

Then one day she argued with me over something stupid, and she rang our mother and told her I was a tranny.

Quite frankly, I wasn't bothered. I love wearing "WOMEN'S" clothes, but so what?

It's my choice, and my fingers up to anyone who says it's wrong. I like to look nice, and I feel better in a skirt, than I do in trousers, so b****ks to them all.

Hey, girls!

Yes, and what about all these shameless GG Trouser Lovers !
They're all over the place ! We'd better call the Police !

Thanks for the response. And no, I am jot a murderer, a child killer, or anything else. I just like wearing what are termed "women's clothes". Now, I would argue with that term, because who says they are women's clothes?

A woman can get up in the morning and say, "hmmm, trousers, or skirt today, I decide"

I have no choice, it has to be trousers, because society says so. I told my sister I feel no shame in being outed or wearing a skirt and a blouse: at the end of the day, it's only cloth.

Love, xxx

Way to go skirt lover! I pleased and happy with how you feel about yourself. But it's nice for you to know and feel that you don't need one's approval. I wish we could all feel like that.

See, this is the central issue. A woman has many choices. SHE can "look" like a man, and no one says a thing, nor is her sexuality questioned. But WHY is it "odd" that U want to wear a sklirt and high heels during the day?

It is not odd, but for some strange reason society has imbedded into our brains that is is wrong. Who made this decision about clothing? How did it come about? It is total and utter madness.

There are loads of men on this site that enjoying the same thing as women and that's wearing a skirt, a dress, a blouse, lovely underwear.

Why does society says it's wrong.? I am totally confused by it, and as the months and years pass, I will continue to be what I am , A LOVER OF CLOTHING. I hate to say they are women's clothes, they're MY clothes. What I want to wear.

Love from Skirt Lover, xxx.

I agree with you, Sandra. Our public acts, they are in some sense statements - and the meaning of those statements are not entirely for us to decide. There's also the fact that "women's clothes" are designed for women, and meant to fit the female body - and that knowledge is part of the message sent. Still, there's always that ultimate solution: Simply don't care what people think. In some sense that could be a message in itself ?

So ok, you're talking about a "uniform" to identify us as sexual beings. Right, so a woman can wear a skirt, which identifies her as female. A man can ONLY wear trousers, which identifies him as a man.

But we have a contradiction here. A woman can wear jeans and T-shirt, and they are essentially men's clothes. Now why is it, a woman can be a cross dresser and a man cannot. Women have the best of both worlds.

So, at the end of the day, it is just about cloth, and how it's styled. I work from home, and all the time I am in the house I am dressed as a woman, but I dread going out, because I have to dress as a man.

Society will not accept me walking out the door in women's clothes, although I do it sometimes, but only at night.

Well, women had to fight for the right to wear trousers (too...).

It was against the backdrop of fashion which restricted movement, caused deformation, illness and sometimes death, that the dress reform movement began. In America, the dress reform movement was inextricably linked with suffragettes, and those fighting for equal rights for women. In 1851, Elizabeth Cady Stanton visited Amelia Bloomer, who was then the editor of a temperance magazine, The Lily. Stanton wore a costume of Turkish trousers over which a short skirt, or long tunic top, was worn. Not only was the outfit modest, it also allowed for greater freedom of movement. Amelia Bloomer was immediately taken with the costume, adopted it herself, and promoted it in her magazine. The New York Tribune noted the story, and labeled the costume "Bloomer." This outfit was not received very well by the general public. Women dressed in the Bloomer costume were often unceremoniously ejected from lecture halls or churches. Even walking down the street had its hazards, as they would be harassed by men and children alike.

To comprehend why this outfit could cause such a commotion, one has to understand that until recent times, a woman could be arrested and imprisoned for "impersonating a man"; that is, wearing men’s clothing. For example, it was a punishable offense in the Middle Ages; after the Civil War, one woman who had dressed as a man and served in the Union Army, was later given a special permit by the government allowing her to wear men’s clothes. In the 1930’s, in Paris, Marlene Dietrich was accosted by police for wearing men’s trousers while walking along the Seine. Many perceived that those wearing the Bloomer outfit bordered on "impersonating a man."

Rational Dress Movement

Yes, time certainly changes, and in some ways for the absolutely better.

In my family women don't wear dresses much. As Laura pointed out a couple of weeks ago, a somewhat neutral style is quite common among scandiavian women. But like you're saying, Sandra - trousers are mostly cut in gendered styles, and the same goes for sweaters, and for seemingly "practical" shoes too. And there's accessoires. So, the impression still becomes decidedly "feminine". I guess this could be where some of the challenge lies for men that really only wants to wear dresses: You could try some compromise - like with the "Bloomers"... Or you could do like Marlene Dietrich - simply wear what suits (...) you. After all, these days there shouldn't be too much chance of being accosted by the police.

Karen I totally agrre with your points. I want to look nice and feel nice, but I feel I cannot in men's clothing.

Women wear skirts for a reason, because they like the look and the feel of the suit, whatever; the same reason they wear heels.

I am entitled to do the same, but all I am saying is that society forbids it in the sense of mocking people like us.

I am straight, too.

It's a great image, Wendy. The door... out onto the street... into open air. Reminds me of some dreams I had more than fifteen years ago. For some months I dreamt, alternately, of flying and walking with giant steps. But in one of those dreams I was trying to control some kind of aircraft reminding me of a house of glass... I could not land it...
A few years later, when I was supposed to finish my architects thesis, I made a full crash landing. The examinator actually said: "Such great ideas, and then... this crash landing - like some alien aircraft..."
But when I finally finished my theory thesis three years ago, I made, somehow, a softer landing. Out in the streets here in Oslo I had this feeling of "walking on waves". I tried to rationalize it... thinking that, after all, everything is particlewaves... But the truth is, I was slowly coming out of the imprisoned state I had been in for something like twentyfive years. I remember thinking that "NOW, finally, I feel at home." And it was the longest I ever had stayed in the same city. That was seven years after my "crash landing".
And a year ago... in late january, a couple of weeks before signing in here at TW, a butterfly actually landed on my hand when I was reading a book about, not architecture, but archeology: The Mind in the Cave.

The window of my "glasshouse aircraft" looked pretty much like this mirror image:

10th September 2005, 10 Days HRT time.

To be, or not to be: That is the question:--
Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and, by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause.

Thanks, Karen. Those words have been on my mind a few times... And, as you're saying, in some sense they must be, for so many of us. Sadly true it is...

....

Sandra...
It's some evil irony, isn't it, these foggy notions they're having, and their talk of "changing minds", or "ideas" ? When, in fact, our problem is not the mind but the mind-body relation - a more or less instinctual affaire, that cannot be changed. I guess what some of them might really mean is that we should "try to live with it" - however much it hurts

With me it's not the feel though I do like that. I want to look my best. I think women & thier closthes are beautifull. So why wouldn't I want to look the same. If men were allowed to I would allways wear nice dresses & skirts. Like you Skirt Lover I'm about allways dressed when at home anymore.
Also like you I'm stright. I love everything about a woman.

In the 1960's The Dick VanDyke show Laura was only allowed to wear capri's in one shot per show. All other times she had to wear dresses or skirts. It was how they thought a mother should look.

Mere,
Isn't it a wonderful feeling of freedom from stress when you lose the fear of being outed, even if you haven't come out to everyone yourself?

I've also realized there is a big difference between people KNOWING you crossdress and people SEEING you crossdress. To a large extent, I expect that is partly the habits we carry of long term fear and embarassment. Similarly, I dont think most people care if we crossdress. I think they care how they feel when they see us crossdressed, much as they once did when women first wore trousers. It's a cultural "habit". Cultures differ widly on the trouser/skirt issue. Look at Arab and Japanese cultures, for example. Look at Western culture where, in the last century a woman wearing trousers has become unremarkable. Nobody cares. It's habit. It's programming. It's not the article of clothing. It's the individual's programmed reactions to it; to the sexual messages and reactions related to it. The 1960's, long hair on males...people got upset when they came up behind a slender "girl" with long blonde hair, only to discover it was a male "hippie". Simple, but powerful. Very powerful. Enough to make some kill over. Certainly enough to make many uncomfortable; some to the extent of trying to retaliate against you by trying to make you uncomfortable. All reason can disappear in that reaction. Misconceptions overwhelm normal caution. We are who we are, not what we wear. That isn't seen. Just as there is still an assumption that gays look and behave like Richard Simmons there is an assumption that any crossdresser is passive and incabable of violence (despite numerous movies about homocidal crossdressers, go figure). All of this contributes to the real danger of being crossdressed, or even a known crossdresser. Recent research confirmed a strong link between homophobes and a sexual response to "gay" sex films. How real is this threat? One woman in three will be raped during her lifetime. Your guess is as good as mine, but it would pay to be careful...like any gg should be. Does this mean you should hide away? That does it's own damage. It does come down to asking yourself what you are willing to risk or give up to be yourself and live the life you want. One might assume the hard part is living it, yet many of our sisters have done just that and reported it was not bad at all. As a macho male type I have been assaulted repeatedly and had people try to knife or shoot me. I've had to carry a gun everywhere I went and constantly watch my back. At work I've been called every name one can imagine. There isn't much new that can be done to me as a crossdresser. So why is the prospect different? I suspect it's all in my head...a life time of fear and hiding away...habit. Not reality. To decide on how to deal with your own TG life, you have to figure out where the fear is coming from. To get beyond it you have to take those first steps. Telling someone. Going out dressed. Taking risks. Most of all, accepting and liking yourself more than you do the person you have been pretending to be...to others, to yourself. I think it must be a lot like your first parachute jump. Exciting to consider....but when you get up in the air, the door opens and you hear the wind roaring and you look down at that first step into space.....being told that your parachute will open 99.99% of the time and that you have a backup if it fails that .01% of the time.....doesn't help much with the fear. If you overcome that fear...if you jump into the air and plummet earthward, if you pop your chute and fly like a bird, the exhilaration must be like going out en femme for the first time. Liberating, freedom, joy....a rush so strong you must do it again. Transition from fear to addiction. I'm sure it's not easy, just as, intellectually I'm sure it's not nearly as bad as fear tells us it will be.

To be or not to be"

My God does that ever fit so many of us here. I have purged Karen so many times in the past it's not a joke. But finely knew that that's who I am & want to be.

You also just let me in to the mind of TS & to not be on the outside who you are on the inside. What must go into your choise to transition is much the same as what is said in those 6 little words.