Hello girls!! I need some advice in a baaad way!! I am a "closeted
CD".. Also married 14 years just last week and been with the same
woman for 23 years who I love to death and we have a 2 1/2 year old
gorgeous daughter. Of course like many of you I have been dressing on
and off most of my life. She has never known this aspect of me.. I
guess I've been too embarrased to tell her. She is an Italian woman
who I've always supposed had very definite definitions of "what a man
is". I am on the "road" working and will not be back home till
Friday.. While on the road I succumbed to the calling of buying some
gorgeous shoes on shoes.com.. They were delivered to my hotel and I
was extremely happy till I just got a call today from my wife asking
me who is the bitch I bought the womens shoes for!!! She got my amex
bill and got curious, called shoes.com and they gave her ALL the info
she wanted to know even though her name wasn't on the card, or the
bill!! She seriously thinks I'm screwing someone and threatened to
take my daughter and leave me!! I had no choice but to tell her over
the cell phone at an airport that I'm a CD and have been doing this
most of my life. She refused to believe me and I told her I could
prove it be showing her a picture. She then proceded to say "you mean
to tell me I've been married to a "crossdressing freak" for 14 years?
I told her how embarrasing it is to even be telling her this and to
not berate me but I though it is a better alternative to her thinking
I;m cheating. I seriously do not know what to do and can barely
breathe!! I Can not sleep and do not know what to expect. I' have told
her that I am not gay, I do not like men, and I don't want to have
SRS.. It's just something I do.. Not always, but time to time.. I't
seems to relieve me in times of stress, and I just like the way it
makes me feel. Please.. any advise or help will be appreciated!!
Thanks!
Staycee

My heart goes out to you Staycee! *hugs* I do hope things work out for you. I really can't understand how it must feel especially after 14 years of marriage. I've always been upfront with all the women in my life. Some have run away so fast it would make your head spin, others stuck around hoping I would change and when they saw I wouldn't, they walked away. I wish I could offer you some sage advice but I can't. I can only offer you support. Please let us know how things are going for you. We all care about you here!

Stacy

WOW! stacey you sure DO need some advice don't you. I Guess your wife's feeling shocked at finding all this out. All you can do at the moment is give her time to take all this in.Jus try explaining to her just how dressing makes you feel inside.....like you said its a kind of stress relief thing. Trust me hun, the one thing you most certainly are NOT is a freak & i guess i won't be the last girl to tell you that.

Just hang in there,ya hear!

Love & xxxxxxxxxx Anna-Marie

I have been in a similar situation. Right now all I can do is echo Anna-Marie here. Give her some time to sort this out, and talk about it when she is ready to. You do need to sit down with her and go over this.

Here I go again - please read the book "My Husband Betty" by Helen Boyd. You'll find it very useful.

As for not being gay, or having SRS, that's your choice. You don't need to justify anything to us.