ive been back and forth as far as the idea of transitioning thought i had finally made up my mind about a month or two ago that it wasnt for me but now im right back into it, im sort of looking to meet people who would be willing to "push" my current limits and let me explore this alittle more. anyone who might be willing pm me. thanks

i want to at least take steps towards tranistioning, but i know myself that i wont go to the level id like to on my own. basically someone who can help me take steps towards a transition. an accountablility partner if you will. hope that makes alittle more sense.

as far as how far along not very. i dress on occasion and im not sure that i want to transition fully yet or not. i would however deffinetly like to go out more as a first step see how that goes and just continue from there. i dont think im anywhere near taking hormones or anytime of surgury yet. is it possible i think so but at this point id just like to go out more dress more and just c how i like that and if i want to take it further from there. think i came off alittle too gunhoe then what i meant to. but dressing stuff makeup tips and just advise on going out, that type of thing is what id be looking for right now and if i really like that then consider progressing from there. but basically i want to dress more get out more and c whats there but i know that theres a mental thing with the whole going out in public that i just wont be able to get by on my own type of a deal.

Jessica,
I have just read your posts and the responses from Mere and Hanna in a way I strikes me quite strange as this is some thing I have been discussing with a close friend who thinks that transitioning would be some thing that he should do. But wants me to set out a plan …….. I refused to set him out a plan on taking short cuts and playing a dangerous game with hormones and his physiological stress levels.
I did however; offer this advice
1. Please consult a gender therapist, as they may be able to untangle your gender issues.
2. If you can possibly live as a male and be happy, please don’t get on this self destructive band wagon and assume you are TS as there are so many other possibilities that could be explored and make you totally happy before making up your mind.
3. “Accountability wow that was and is a big one for him” There is no accountability to any one but yourself.
4. Explore the possibilities, find what makes you happy
5. Explore the possibilities, find what makes you happy
6. Explore the possibilities, find what makes you happy
7. Explore the possibilities, find what makes you happy
8. Explore the possibilities, find what makes you happy
9. Explore the possibilities, find what makes you happy
10. Explore the possibilities, find what makes you happy

In my case if I could have found any other way of accepting my self in any other way than being a girl I promise you I would have taken that option. Because the personal sacrifice is huge and the pain you bring to your family is bigger still.

What exactly is it you want to explore? Whether or not you should transition? What do you mean by "push" your current limits?

If you're talking about having someone convince you to transition then that is the wrong way to go about it. If you have to be talked into it then you are not serious about the move, and a good gender therapist will see that as well (as well as any other decent therapist).

If you want to discuss the feelings that go along with wondering whether you should transition, then this is the right place. I will not tell anyone they should transition if they are uncertain about it. Or even if they are certain about it, for that matter. That's personal choice and not one for me to decide for others.

So, what is it you would like?

I agree with Meredith... transitioning is very stressful for anyone who attempts it and it is a an irreversible, once in a lifetime choice.
I wouldn't want to encourage anyone to transition, especially someone I don't know. That decision has to be made only by you and no one else.
Before deciding on what to do I'd think about the losses one might suffer when transitioning, like losing ones job, friends, family...

But I agree with Meredith, seek out a gender therapist. They aren't just there to help those who already decided to transition, they are also there to guide those who are in doubt.

Jessica, that does make sense now. I wasn't sure what it was you wanted.

As for an "accountability" partner, only you can be accountable for your actions.

What makes me still wonder about your intentions is when you say you won't go to the level you want to on your own. I can understand scared, and hesitant, feelings, but, again, are you looking for someone to talk you into it?

I strongly suggest taking this very slowly. What do you do now? Do you dress just on occasion? Do you venture outside as a woman? How many people know about you? How much are you out of the TG closet? In short, how far along are you at this time?

Some of this will help us understand you before we make any suggestions. And, again, what we will say here are suggestions. You know your life better than any of us.

As Sara said: "If you can possibly live as a male and be happy, please don’t get on this self destructive band wagon and assume you are TS as there are so many other possibilities that could be explored and make you totally happy before making up your mind."

Jessica, you are NOT a TS, as far as I can see. The fact that you do not think you want to transition tells me that you do NOT want to transition!

If you dress on occasion, and enjoy it, then leave it at that. You might go further, you might not. Don't feel obligated to have to join a very elite club (and I do not mean "elite" in not a snobbish way). As Hanna so succinctly put it, transitioning means there is no going back. I don't think you want to do it, if ever. And there's nothing wrong with that.

If you want dressing and makeup tips, then this is the place to ask! As for going out in public, all of us here know how nerve-racking that can be the first time we do it.

Just enjoy what you do and take everything else in stride. Take it as it comes. But do not start to put an image on yourself that you are not ready to accept.

It’s not for others to tell you whether you are TS or whether you should transition or not, it’s for you to work out over time. I’m sure some of us forget our own internal struggles once we have made that decision, it all seems so clear cut now. You are less than half my age, Jessica, there is no rush to “make a decision”. At your age I wouldn’t have dared to go out in public, and although I always wanted to be a girl I certainly wasn’t sure if I had the strength to transition, tell my family etc etc. None of this means that someone is not TS. I think you’re going the right way by tentatively taking the first steps. You do need to explore this side of yourself, work out what it all means to you. Once you start going out in public and interacting with other people you might be surprised by what is revealed. It’s quite possible you are TS, but points #4 thru 10 from Sarah Lynn are wisely repeated.
Personally speaking, or maybe it’s just because I’m English and we don’t have the same “therapist culture” here, I think going out and being yourself is the best therapy. It will tell you more about yourself than any therapist can. But I’ve never been to one so maybe he or she will be a great help…
In your profile you talk about being tv/ts; they are two different things, maybe two points in a gender spectrum, but whatever, you need to work out which best applies to you. If you just enjoy dressing and “being” female at times but are happy living as male in “real life” then you are probably TV, and maybe there is no need to come out to the world and upset your family’s apple-cart. If you are TS, you will probably reach a point in your life when you realise you can’t function properly as male, and transition becomes not so much a choice, but an inevitability.
Take your time, don’t feel pressured by anyone’s opinions, including mine, and above all, enjoy yourself wherever this journey may take you.
xx