September 8, 2006 10:48 PM BST
Holding up two thoughts.... sure is a good way of putting it. And reminds me of a small episode at the bank today... about cognitive assonance...
My visa had been demagnetised by accident, and so i had to withdraw some money over the counter. I went over and explained my problem to this young guy. Gave him my card, with my old name on it... And so, he looked at the screen, and saw my name, my name... already registered with the bank. And he looked sort of confused...
and leant over to this other guy and asked: Can he withdraw money, it seems on the screen here that she - and he pointed at the screen - that she's the only one that can actually use this account ?
Well, i was not exactly passing.... I smiled, and said: As it happens, she, that is me, so there's no problem. And i laughed, while adding: Some sense of humour can be a good thing these days...
Not too sure if i was acting very ladylike, except.... i made him relax, the way we're supposed to...
He laughed... slightly embarrased. Eh, oh, i see, theres actually the same birth dates and security numbers... i understand... Sabina... he said, and looked at me, pricelessly... He gave me my money. And before leaving i smiled again, and said i had no problem with understanding his confusion. He smiled and laughed back, embarassed, again.
Well, we laughed. I did, and he did, so we had that link, i guess it would make sense to say. The comic element... it was about the extreme contradiction too, of course. Clearly exhibiting the two thoughts: Acting like a woman, but clearly displaying the, well, problem.
I don't make much of an attempt to "pass", well, as anything but myself. My hair in a knot, a loose neck jumper, and womens jeans, which he couldn't see. No make up. And a shoulder bag, the short kind, under the arm. I guess my face may be perceived as sort of androgynous, my figure slightly feminine in tight fitting clothes, but that's about it. And then of course the fact that i'm slim and tall - 6'2'' - about 4-5'' taller than that guy at the bank. And i look fit enough too... well... give him a hug. No doubt, the fears some of these men have may be well founded.