Just thought ide let people know that I have just come out to my wife.
It realy was not wat I intended to do untill Jan after the shrinks diagnosis. But hey she found a pair of my undies in the wash and so the deadline was brought forward.

I have posted a blogg on it, in two parts the initial conversation, my wife had with me.
http://gendersociety.com/perl/community/blogging.cgi?userid=9970232965515&targetdate=2006_11_4&monthyear=Nov_2006

And the second install ment wher I told the wife everything.
http://gendersociety.com/perl/community/blogging.cgi?userid=9970232965515&targetdate=2006_11_6&monthyear=Nov_2006

Well ahve to say , now im oput in the open it is the best thing that has happend to me, no secrets, no hideing.
And no more using the SOS button on the computer when Im chatting to me friends on TrannyWeb and the Mrs come up.
Few What a relief !!!!!!

Well anyways, i still have a lot of talkin gto do with the Mrs, shes not see me dressed yet, and she still does not know my name as Lucy, she did not want to know.

Anyways, I hope the experiance here is going to help people out for the future.

And ill kepp this post updated as I post in my blogg, my relationship with my family and telling them.

Huggs
Lucy

Thanks girls for your kind words.

Things are going as well as can be expected, we are still together, sleeping and cuddeling in the same bed.
She does not want to see me as Lucy, but saying that she is letting me go shopping with her 1/2 lucied and with light makeup on. Thats a start.
I am peretty much in famale attire all the time now, except it is mor unisex. My cloths as I call them are very feminine indeed.

We have chatted loads and loads about, us, where we are going to go, what to do, what about the kids.
But we have finally come to the conclusion that leave it untill after Christmas, and after I have seen the phycotherepist.

So thing are going OK, more in my blogg.

Lucy

Lucy,
Congratulations are in order, that this secret between you and your wife is gone. That you are sleeping and cuddling together speaks to the strength of love your wife has for you and to her acceptance.
For me it hasn't been a single event or turning point, more a change of course that requires many adjustments - good and bad - as my wife came to terms and to the specifics of what my being trans meant to her world.
In two years my wife has never directly referred to me as Ann nor wished to see me dressed. However, the practicalities of life and - I suppose - a growing acceptance through understanding or plain accomodation, means that she put away my things without comment and has come to accept and willingly discuss the Tranny Web world I'm a part of, accepts comfortably my discussions about 'the girls' and is even comfortable with 'Ann's' email acount which she tries to avoid using.
We still have some desperate fights - usually from my being overwrought. Our issues were never so much rooted in my gender issues but our relationship as two individuals. I'm of a mind that with acceptance, being trans is not the deal-breaking issue that some might see it as.
Good luck for you, your wife and your family, Lucy.
Love Ann

Hey girls, sorry about the long wait to reply to this thread.
I dont visit the threads much and this is the reason why, so many people have replied and I have missed them all.
It is rude of me and am sorry.
Hey Christy good for you hunni, I am really sorry that I have not back to you sooner, you poured out your heart and I did not see it, forgive me please. I hope things are gong well for you and that your and your partner can, or have worked things out between you.


I have been living full time now for 5 months, it feels just like a few weeks.
I think the hardest thing is to stop 1 day roling into another, I am still unemployed it would seem to me trans people are unemployable, even when they are as pasable as I am.
I have been to charing cross and was advised not to tell anyone in the interview that i am trans as it is not a legal requirement to do so.
So that is wot I am going to do, and hopefully Ill get work soon.

I was thinking of going self employed as a portrait photographer, (yes i do have experiance) but I dont actually want to work for myself, ide rather have a 9 - 5 job, go to work go home and forget work and carry on living.

Life is pretty good now, other than work and my fanances are well and truley up the spout.
I have never been more contented in my life, no longer struggling with my identity, am finall confidant in who i am, and have more friends now than I have ever had in my entire life.
Sure I wish things were different between my wife and I, I would still go back if she asked me tomorrow.
But there is no going back for me as a person now, I am and have always been female and will contune live my life as I should have always lived it.
Happy, contented and loving Life

Huggs Lucy

Way to go lucy!!......that is such great news, i promise you you'll not regret it.

LOL xxxxxxx
Anna-Marie

Hi Lucy-

Best of luck, girl. Here's wishing you both a happy outcome.

Hugs...Joni

Best of luck to you both Lucy. It sounds like it went as well as these things can. My wife is in a similar position to yours and is happy with that.

Good luck.

I strongly encourage continuing honesty with a SO as well as making sure she gets MORE of the things she wants from your relationship. This makes your TG nature a positive thing for her to experience.

My SO called today to tell me she was coming to town Tuesday. I called her back three times and caught her at home at last. Her joy and excitement over anticipating seeing me tomorrow, and taking me shopping with her, was a wonderful experience. Four months is a long time and one begins to have doubts. No fear. Clearly she was just as eager to be together again. I'm very happy. We talked about dolls, Vin Diesel, Chinese-style fighting in movies and her job as well as my imminent one and Xmas present ideas. Burned up 50 minutes of phone card.

Tomorrow I will have a box of clothes for her and she will have one for me.....girl-clothes. In fact I must do laundry tonight cause I "borrowed" some of hers last time I dressed. SHe made one thing clear. She likes Wendy far better than Him. She gets much more of what she wants from our relationship from Wendy and Wendy is who she saw and fell in love with years ago (though neither of us realized it until this year). I took this lesson to heart. I can't guarantee it will work for everyone, but I'm sure that it is unlikely to hurt and may help a lot. Find out what she really wants and see if your true self can give her that. My SO wants me to NEVER go back to being who I was and is actively encouraging Wendy to remain my active self. I started getting ready for our day, yesterday. Showering, shampooing and washing my skin with a moisturizing soap. Doing my cuticles, filing my nails, doing skin care. Tonight I have to pick out an outfit for tomorrow. I want to make sure my mind is firmly in femme mode by tomorrow. I've been thinking about what will make her happy and what old habits I should avoid. It's pretty easy these days. Wendy comes naturally to the fore. Zen meditation uses a similar approach. Training the mind in a path with repetative patterns that evoke a mental state. You have to accept yourself, first, or how can she ever accept you?

That's all you can do. Provide what motivation for acceptance that you can. That and educational material. The rest is up to your SO. They have to be motivated to get past their hangups. You can only be responsible for so much. After all, if they don't love YOU .... they don't really love you and never did. They loved someone you pretended to be (intentionally or not)

I wish all of you luck and success such as I, Jon, Lucy D, M/A and others have had with our SOs. We were lucky to have the right material to work with when we came out.

Good luck Chrissy, although I would suggest that you move along at your wife's pace, it can be pretty hard to deal with even for someone who's willing to accept it.