My boss noticed my painted fingernails today. He didn't confront me but he did ask my co-worker if I was going glamorous. What a prude to not confront me personally. We'll see how tomorrow goes. Just thought I would add this to this column so we can see what happens. I thought it belonged here.

The Center for Gender Sanity has a great links page where you can find a great deal of information on how to approach coming out at work. I highly recommend it.

http://www.gendersanity.c[...]s.shtml

Some advocacy organizations actually are conducting sensitivity training for human resource professionals who need to learn more about their transgender employees. The Center for Gender Sanity links page previously referenced contains a link where you can arrange to have this kind of training offered to your company.

Oh how I wish I could come out. I feel so alive dressed as a woman and so confined as a man. My sexuallity really comes to the forfront when i am a woman.

The Gender Sanity page referenced has a number of stale links but is otherwise a great reference page.

Speaking as a business owner and someone who had employees and later direct reports, I would strongly endorse the reference that Robyn added, particularly what the employer is facing. There is as tendency to look at coming out -- whether at work or generally -- solely from our own perspective and to be preoccupied with our feelings in the experience. I think it is much more productive to consider the other parties with whom you will be in contact and find ways to help them to adjust in a positive way. This has benefit for you personally and to the community in general as it modifies -- for good or ill -- the public's perceptions of us.

Notwithstanding what a lot of employees feel, the employers' principal interests are in keeping employees and in keeping them productive. Anything that is a distraction from that has to be addressed by the employer. Without getting into a debate of who's treatment of who is better or worse, the majority of employers recognize that the morale of individuals as individuals and as members of a collective group is paramount. A great deal of money, time and effort goes into that.

Dependent on the norms of the workplace, nail polish may be a distraction. As such it is unfair to the employer and other employees to be 'exploring one's self' in the workplace. Some workplaces may be open to this; apparently Charlene works in such an environment.

It shouldn't be forgotten that employers (and bosses) are regular people too, with all the foibles we all have. They have a job to do and it extends to exercising some control over their reports (the people they oversee). It is very difficult -- simply from a social interaction perspective-- to convert corporate policy into practical judgments on how one approaches an employee who, for example, wants to wear overpowering perfume, not wear deodorant, play music, eat strongly spiced foods at their desk or whatever. Just from this list I'm sure that someone has already taken offense at the suggestion of their liberties being abridged.

If you are planning a progressive 'coming out' at work, in fairness to you and every coworker, speak to your boss and get support. If this is simply 'a titillating exploration of gender' do it elsewhere, otherwise you might find the outcome unfair to everyone.

I think a lot of people, like your boss, want to ask you directly but are too afraid or embarassed to. I guess they don't know how to handle the response.