So, here I am sitting in a small office staring at Vicki, the interviewer and her husband Paul, my highlighted resume on the desk between us. The office isn't much larger than a closet, being a portion of a bay of an industrial strip mall, but the opportunity is huge. Its a job that I could do in my sleep. I mean, my career -- such as its been -- has been preparation for a job like this. And the money is ok, too! Ok? What am I saying? The money is great! Better than great. On the money alone my life would be transformed. I could actually afford to transform (err, transition). I could pay bills. I could pay back debts. I could be independent. I could buy clothes. And surgery. Whoa! I'm getting ahead of myself.

I have to fidget in my suit which, not having worn it for over a year, is quite tight across the chest. I either look very buff with pecs or they're wondering if I have a bust. I'd like to think that they're impressed with Michael's credentials. I might be talking too fast and too earnestly, though. Vicki is wearing a black cami with a little bit of lace across the top with sand-coloured capris and strappy sandals. Her hair is straight, short and black. She is in a word pleasingly dramatic. Paul is all self-confidence in Docker slacks and a polo-shirt. What on earth am I doing in a business suit? But, I digress.

Right now, I borrow coffee money daily from my mother to survive each day. I found some occasional work as a handyman. Clearly I can't tell them about that. Read my resume and you'd actually think i was successful. Do I tell them about being a handyman, living with my mother, being basically penniless? Do I tell them that I'm struggling with Bi-Polar? I wonder about that. Because I'm seeing a doctor does that constitute 'being under a doctor's care' and a psychiatrist to boot? What would they think about that? Am I being unfair to them, not revealing this?

Canadian Employment law means that only job-related matters can be broached by an employer. Age, sex, gender orientation, criminal record, medical record are all off-limit. But even granted that privilege of privacy, am I being fair to them or more importantly myself? With this job comes self-worth and of course, money. I can start electrolysis. I can afford my meds. I can plan surgeries, wardrobe and travel. I can give my wife something in compensation for the misery I visited on her. It isn't an easy choice for me.

I'm right back in the closet if I don't tell them I'm transsexual. In such small quarters, though, and such a small group, will they come to suspect? Is it better to get the job, perform and show my worth and then come out? Do I want to get to know this group as Michael and then suddenly overturn it and present as Ann or am I better to start as Ann? If I want to do the latter (start as Ann) do I still 'get the job' and then on my first day or at that moment that contracts are signed suddenly turn and say,
"Oh, by the way... there's something that I have to tell you."

Its a marketing position and I've taken in a small promotional item that I've cobbled together for the meeting. They're intrigued. They might even be impressed. I'm trying to hold back all my whimsical thoughts of "life as it could be if I get this job...". I'm not doing too well. I really can't bear to think of my life as it is.

So, is honesty and being forthright the best policy? Potentially, these people will become my friends, that happens in small business. Will I destroy any trust I create if I hold on to this secret until later? It might be that they understand and say,
"Why didn't you tell us? We would have been okay."
They might also toss me out on my ear.

Oh, the challenge reconciling the difference of what the law allows and personal morality compels. Or am I just contemplating sabotaging my future? I didn't sleep much last night. On the one hand my heart and hopes pushes visions of a brighter future into the crystal waters of dreams but then the hollowness of this existence I'm currently struggling through and its inevitability are dredged up like a muddy bottom by my fears.

I would wait until the entire new hire process is done, and all the paperwork signed, then tell them there's a medical condition you need to discuss with them.

At this point, as I understand Canadian law, they can't fire you. I know it seems deceptive, but we gotta do what we gotta do.

Hi Ann,

When I'm faced with a ethical dilema, I usually put myself in the other persons place, for a moment, to look at the issue. My opinion, as it is, would be to take the job and establish your worth to them, prior to any discussions of Ann. Even if you are legally supported in not being let go, if you show them the worth you bring to thier company it would go alot better. This would keep your options open, but unfortunately would mean a return to part time for a bit. I guess the real question is -

Can Ann (you) be happy with this temporarilly, or would it be better to continue looking for a position where Ann can be truly free from the start? Good luck in whatever you decide!!!

Hugz,
Michelle Lynn

Something that it might be important, though unpleasant to note:

DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!!!

If possible, record the conversation during which you come out to your employer. A pocket digital voice recorder can be found for $20 or less. This helps tremendously when people contradict themselves during later conversations. Having this audio evidence stashed away in your computer will aid tremendously should litigation become necessary.

Don't just document the bad things. Any client testimonials should be saved to a file, along with any favorable employer evaluations.

Whenever possible, correspond via email. This creates a document of correspondence automatically, that can be saved to a file devoted to correspondence.

It has been my experience that regardless of any initial positive interaction with employers or coworkers, things can get nasty overnight, and those people who had only glowing things to say about you can abruptly change 180 degrees when they find you are TS. Copious documentation of EVERYTHING helps to support any claim of harassment or discrimination that you think may be a result of your gender identity.

I'm fortunate to have had a few days to consider the issue of coming out during the hiring process or after (assuming that I'm offered a job). I've come to the conclusion that I will exercise the protection afforded be by Canadian Employment Legislation and not volunteer this information.

Michelle makes a very good point on the matter of ethics -- look at the issue from the other side. Having been an employer both in my own business and as an employee responsible for hiring, I have just this experience. I have also worked on behalf of the Government of Ontario, Canada as an job-search counsellor where a portion of my responsibility was to inform job seekers of their rights. Funny, that I should ignore the very information and direction that I gave so many others. I took great pains when I was hiring to ensure that over zealous candidates did not divulge information. I wanted to evaluate each candidate solely on the merits of their capability. The existence of personal issues was often self-evident and relevant even though the interview focussed solely on work issues.

The ethics of the situation are that I am only obliged to discuss those issues that pertain to my job performance. There is a personal ache in this, in that I want to be 'friends' with people and honest and upfront. The reality of the workplace seems to be that this stand is more often harmful than beneficial as such personal information disproportionately weighs in the hiring decision. I have finally found comfort in the idea that my job performance will be the sole determinant of my worth to the company and that is as it should be.

For myself and for all trans people (if that isn't being arrogant), I should not feel (which I don't) that being trans affects MY on the job performance. It might (with emphasis) affect how others perceive me and how they conduct themselves but I should not be judged on their behaviour. To raise this issue in the interview process is ashamed or doubtful of myself and my worth. I would be apologizing where no apology is necessary.

The penalty of being Michael for six months is outweighed by the benefits of a good job and the money it provides. That money will allow me to move forward in my transition and in the pursuit of my dreams.

Somehow this issue has energized me. I feel stronger to have found that this is my stand. I feel that I am claiming personal respect and claiming respect for all trans people.

Robyn's advice is wise. I guess that even the best performance might be at risk. I will certainly do as she advises. I choose to believe in the good will of the employers but will ensure my place with written correspondence. In the words of Oliver Cromwell during the invasion of Ireland, "Trust in God, men... but row away from the rocks."

Being a cynic, I wonder if my pay scale would have changed if I elected to inform them that I am female.

I'll keep you posted.

To my mind you are not obliged to bring out things about you which may work against you. Everybody tries to point positive things out. Depending on the employer I have always chosen my topics I will talk about.
I know only one woman with the trans past who was employed, the employer knowing her history. The boss of the company is the only one who knows and he keeps silent.
Transitioning at job is the best way to do it. Sometimes perhaps inconvinient but the right way.

Laura

Be VERY VERY careful of recording conversations without the knowledge/consent of all parties. Check your local and Federal/Dominion/etc laws first.

N. H. Rev. Stat. Ann. § 570-A:2: It is a felony to intercept, or disclose the contents of, any telecommunication or oral communication without the consent of all parties. However, it is a misdemeanor for a party to a communication, or anyone who has the consent of only one of the parties, to intercept a telecommunication or oral communication.

Civil damages are expressly authorized for unlawful interceptions for the greater of actual damages, $100 a day for each day of violation, or $1,000 in addition to punitive damages, attorney fees and litigation costs. N.H. Rev. Stat. Ann. § 570-A:11.

It would almost certainly be considered reasonable grounds for terminating you, so the suit you win with it, if admitted to evidence, could well give them a legal reason to fire you.

*****

Ann, you know I wish you the best of luck in this job situation.