So i was with my gg friend at a thrifshop a few towns over.. lookin through the ladies section... and who do I see but someone from work. A woman in her mid 50's I'd say.. who I always got along well with... We locked eyes for a breif moment and as we headed to the check out... she made several obviously passes past us glancing at me with a bit of a puzzled look on her face... but didn't say a word... now... She and I have always been friendly and chatty and such so I have no idea what was going through her mind... if maybe she wasn't 100% sure or not?

Today we exchanged a few words.. "hows your day" and such. Very friendly as usual... and nothing was said of yesterday... I have no idea if she's sure it was me or not. The whole thing was a bit unsettling... part of me wants to take her aside and explain the whole thing... and if she outright asked me....... "did i see you at the thrift shop the other day?... I don't know what I'd say....

Has anyone reading this had this happen?

Hi Juliana,

You know what it is ok, don't make it into some thing big or it could end up that way. It has happened to me several times when I was in the closet and the bigger deal I made it out to be; it really got blown out of all proportion.
If it was me in your place I would say nothing unless I was asked about it. Now days when people recognize me they just normally come up and start chatting; that is not to say some of them just plain don’t like me and give me the evil eye.

All the best
Sara

Juliana - no sweat!
If anything is said and you still want to remain in the closet here are some tips
1. you were with your gg. You were helping her.
2. don't you buy presents for you gg? You were on the cheap.
3. you're going to a costume party.
Nothing will probably be said. I've been shopping with my wife for years now. Luckily we're the same size. She even picks out things for me.....nice.
Does your gg know?
Gracie

Yes of course I was dressed. I figured my frantic response made it apparent I was.. hence her puzzled looks and being unsure if it was me... sorry i didn't clarify.

A few days later we were on the bench outside on break and she looked at me and said... "lemme see you with your hair down".. (i wear it in a ponytail at work) And I just paused.... held up my index finger.. and i was like.......... "yeah...... i know what you're gettin at...... it was me... " and she goes "I THOUGHT that girl looked familiar..... I wasn't sure though... I thought maybe you had a sister or something"

She saw me playing with the keyboard in the corner... her friend pointed her out to me as she was wondering where the music was coming from.. Apparently her friend said to her "it's some girl over there" Well that made me smile... long story short she doesn't care and her lips are sealed.

I wouldn't say I'm in the closet... hardly... all my friends know.. my parents know.. I go out in public dressed all the time..... but that doesn't mean it's not an awkward situation to see someone from work who wasn't previously aware of it.

I am glad things are working out for you
Love
Sara

Juliana,

Before I went full-time, before anyone I worked with, or even my own family knew that I was dressing, I would often ask myself how I might act if any of them recognized me. To the best of my knowledge no one ever did. But there was one incident that scared me.

I was out with a bunch of 'the girls' one Saturday night, and I managed to catch the eye of a fella. He bought me a couple of drinks, lowering my inhibitions, and we started getting 'friendly'. (Second base but he was heading for third.) It wasn't the first time I'd tested the waters. That was not the scary part; he looked very familiar, but it really didn't sink in at the time. Only later did it come to me! "OMG, I think that maybe that was Robert, from work!" (not his real name) I had been drinking, and to this day, I still wonder if it was him. Robert never said a word or acted differently around me, so it probably wasn't him, but it could have been.

I think by that time, I had decided that I was going to eventually take the leap to transition; so I took the attitude from there on out, that they're all going to find out one day, if it happens, it happens. I've never looked back since.

With any luck, you may have made an ally. I wish you the best, always.
Knikol

In the aftermath of all this I'm coming to find out anyone I confide in already knows. This woman told at least a few people to where it's not a secret. She swore up and down and on her childrens lives she wouldn't. Just goes to show you can't trust anybody no matter how sincere they are.

Not caring is one thing but I'd prefer to have not make it fantastically public until I was in a position to not depend on that job. I don't wanna get fired over it. Noone's given me crap about it but so far its all females who know and gossip to each other about it. I've yet to discuss it with any male workers there who I expect would be less accepting. I base this on the reactions of my friends.. several male friends who scarcely talk to me anymore or at the very least act wierd around me.

I think you just need to be yourself, don't try and be what you think others want you to be. Right now you are in a situation your coworkers are watching your behavior and you're likely whether consicously or subconsciously trying not to give them anything to talk about. By doing that you are not behaving normal which tends to standout. In essense, you're paranoid.

I think you are trying to hide the other person. The thing is you need to get rid of that other person and just be who you are. People like to know other people's secrets, thats part of life, and they can do mean things knowing those secrets. I'm not saying you need to comeout to everyone, but you don't need to give them ammunition by giving them the impression you are hiding something. Chances are if they just see you as a femme guy they will accept that and approach you once again. There is a "trust" factor even in everyday meetings with others. When you hide things you lose that trust and people avoid you like the plague.

You're not doing anything wrong, accept that and just be yourself.

Love,
Marsha

Personally this has not happened with people from work, but it has happened with other friends of mine who didn't know and I could see what they wanted to ask, (the squirming and funny looks kind of gave it away), so when I said' "Look, is there something you want to ask me?" They did, and I just told them straight and they were okay with it. I don't know if that was because they were friends, or they suspected or whatever, I didn't really care why they were ok with it, just happy that they were. If they weren't then they wouldn't have been a true friend anyway in my book so wouldn't have been much of a loss.

Work is different of course, you aren't necessarily friends and people do try to climb over each other using any 'tool' they can, including outing you to colleagues or managers. I hope this won't be the case with you.

Nikki

Sorry, my bad! I assumed you were dressed at the time.....doh!

If you weren't, you have nothing to worry about, you are allowed to buy girls clothing and accessories, many men (non transgendered) do.

Nikki