The terrible problem we all face is that people just do not understand transgenderism.  I have seen another comment today suggesting the view that "Why would you want to dress as a woman if not to attract a man".

But suggest to any woman that the only reason for dressing up and looking attractive is to attract another man - and see what reaction you get.  The problem is that everyone assumes that we think like men - That we use dressing as some kind of male fetish or sexual deviance.  And of course some Trannies do.

But there are a great many of us who simply have a female orientated brain. We think like women - and probably far more than even we realise, because we have for years been subjected to male social conditioning and forced to reject any feminine thinking or manersims as being pansy or poofy.

Odd isn't it how we praise women who display masculine qualities yet deride men who display feminine qualities.

So how can this forum help - I have spent 43 years in the closet - but have come out - Unfortunately my relationships have failed - but they failed before I came out - though the reasons underlying the failure were all related to the way I am.

The hardest challenge is to retain a relationship while coming out. I have found that I now have a much better relatioship with the women of my past now that I have been able to explain. There is a lot of support around and Dr Veron Colemans Book, Crossdressing is one of the best I have read.  He is a GP who is also a crossdresser and maintains that coming out will enable to you to live longer and be much happier.

I think one of the best things to do is get involved in a local group and meet with other trannies - start to buid your coonfidence - talk to other giros in sijmilar situations to yourself and stgart to gain a better understanding of who you are - then find a way to explain this to your spouse.

At the end of the day I had to make a very hard decision - If the woman in my life could not accept me for who I am - then the relationship was not on firm enough ground to survive anyway and I was not prepated to live my life with the growing sense of dispair over not being able to fully express myself.  What if you wife had a similar secret - would you want her to live with the secret or would you want her to be open with you.

If you come out and she cannot accept it - then you will be able to come out - and the relief will be overwhelming. I cannot believe how my life is changing and the level of acceptance I have from my children - who tell me I am now a much better father and happier person since coming out - And despite the fact that she first raids my wardrobe when we clubbing together, my daughter proudly introduces me as her dad when we are out - which causes much confusion and a few good laughs.

Hi Girls

I'm Rikki and I've just been elevated to the dizzy heights of Moderator on this forum.  I've been out now for about 18 months, after 47 years of fear in the closet. Girls I can tell you now the fear was unfounded - I feel happier now that at any time in my life

However whats good for me is not necessarrily good for everyone - we all have differend situations to contend with.  It took a lot of courage and changes to my life circumstances to get me to where I am today.

But here in this forum, you are going to find lots of TGirls who have been there and lots of girls in the closet who feel the fear you feel.  Yes - lots of people feel just like you do.  

So ask for help!!!  Lets make the forum the place that helps girls like you to enjoy the richness of this gift - and it is a gift.  We are very special people.  Being in the middle we have an understanding of both genders and once people get ot know us they are fascinated and enthrawled.

More importantly once you come out it will be like losing a great burden and allowing that beautiful woman to live and experience the joy that she truely derserves.

So come on girls - Ask for help, post your tips or simply tell us your story.  Lets see if we can really make it happen for us all and change the image of Transgendered people for ever.