Well, coming out to your kids...mine are grown up..might be the hardest point. And I´m facing that soon enough. My wife knows about me, and I try to convince her that I love her no matter what happens. And she even says that I´m getting to be a better lover. She doesn´t use the word husband.
Fortunately you are not any more automatically divorced after an official sex change. We have a new law about that..:)

Laura

Hi Phyllis

I'm not TS, so I'm not sure if what I can add will help or not. My children were told by their mother years ago - but we never discussed it, till this year when I decided that I had to have that conversation at least once.  

I recognised that they might find this embarrassing, but as it turned out my then 18 year old daughter was completely cool,  and we've had some long conversations to help us both be more comfortable.  She has not actually seen me fully cross dressed, but wants to; my 23 year old son has been out clubbing with me. He was a little uncomfortable at first but soon found it quite natural.

I have a younger daughter from another relatonship - We have discussed it - I have turned up rather androgenously dressed and there is a declared embarrassment factor here - she does not want her friends at school to find out though she appears comfortable with me.

My sister is very accepting and I went to her house dressed.  No problem... until the next time I said I was coming - "Oh  Could I please not come dressed"  Her husband was a bit concerned about what the neighbours might say.   It's not a problem - but its a flag - They don't really want to have to deal with explaining this to other people.  This I have discovered is quite a common reaction.  "It's OK... as long as I don't have to get involved."

The problems were actually mostly in my head - however whilst they can all accept it - they don't want to have to face it particularly - however as even as a guy, my image is changing and more feminine - they will have to get used to it - and I have decided that I will have to live with the consequences of that decision.  

Your challenge is a little more difficult if you are on the road to full SRS - which I am not.  Because if you are - there will come a time when everyone will know and they will have to accept you as a female - some may not be able to and that could include your daughter - you will never know until she has to face it.

I have a friend in the States who had to tell his wife that he was transgendered and that he has been going to bed with men as well.  He brought in a Shrink - His wife was invited to a meeting with the shrink and my friend then left while she was councelled - It has not been easy - but they are coping and still together after 3 months. Thois might be an option for you.  Use some 3rd party help.  

I use a really good pic of me taken after a professional makeover to come out - I show the pic - wait for the "who is she?" queston and then say - It's me - they are so stunned by the image - that they then tend to lead the conversation with questions and so far it is been a 100% successful way of coming out - well to my face at least.

You have made a choice about where you are going and it will affect others - They have the right to make their own choices about how they handle that and you have to accept the consequences, whatever they are, of your decision - so do what you can to make the disclosure as safe as possible and once you have passed that point - you will know what you have to do - I doubt it will ever be as bad as you fear - and if it is - well it is - you just have to get on and deal with it.

Right now - it is fear itself that is the problem - So feel the fear - and do it anyway.  

I have come out to many friends and clients with wonderful results but I am really having a hard time finding the words that I need to tell an adult daughter that is very close to me that I am a TS.  I need advice on what to say or at least how to start the conversation to come out to her.  She is 35, I 57 and she is the vice-pres of my corp.  I need a close one to understand what her mother and I are going through.  Any suggestions brilliant or not.

12-1 update:

I had lunch with her on the 29th.  We discussed corp business then I told her I needed to discuss a problem that has been in the background for 55 years.  At that point I pulled out a small but very nice photo and gave it to her.  She did not put the two of us together but kept asking who was that lady.  When I responded with the admission that it was me she was a bit shocked and without words for a second and had a very pink face.  After that we discussed it for a while but she did not want to know details except to be assured that her mother knew before we were married in 1963.  

All went very well.  I got the biggest hug in the restarurant parking lot and she told me she loved me.  I have since called her on the phone and have gotten an enthustic reaction.  I will be at her home all night tonight with my wife. We'll see how it goes.  I will not bring up the subject to her for quite a while letting her get used to the idea that Dad is a TS that goes out as much as possible and a pretty as she can.

I encourage anyone to think very carefully about doing this with their children.  I was willing to take the risk because I was convinced that my relationship with her was on firm ground.  I was right but you may not.  BE CAREFUL!!!