October 21, 2009 3:51 AM BST
Hey! I have had the same crisis as you are facing, as I want to come out but I also want women to be attracted to me. I understand why women would be turned off to me dressed up, as I am typically turned off to women who are dressed in pants, etc. However, openness is critical in a healthy relationship, and if a woman is not willing to accept the way you are, then she is not worth being with. I have never come out openly, but have always told my girlfriends after a few months of dating. Both of them took it well, and were extremely helpful. I am now safely with my girlfriend to where I am considering going public, safe in the knowledge that I no longer have to attract women, but I don't expect to dress up every day, just as I don't expect her to dress up every day. Basically, if you really want women to come after you, it seems like you need to suck it up and wear the pants, but you definitely cannot hide it in a relationship for long. If she is not comfortable with you as you are, maybe you should reconsider the relationship. This should be a minor thing, just like politics, and if it becomes divisive than it wasn't meant to happen.
On a side note, don't go out and get a girlfriend just because you want the safety to dress up. That's a very bad idea.
Stan
June 18, 2008 3:02 PM BST
I can't say how you go about attracting girls since I am married and very out, but I have found women in general to be very supportive of Tgirls, often because we understand them better. That's only my experience of course.
Nikki
Victoria, you just need to get out there and circulate, that's the only way for people (GG's or otherwise) to get to know you. Just be yourself.
Nikki
Hi Victoria, I have a suggestion. Try going to some tranny nite clubs. You're from Oxford, UK so are not so far away from Pink Punters near Milton Keynes and The mummy of them all, The Wayout Club in London.
If you look around the room, you will usually see quite a few RG's (or GG's) and they will often be the only ones who are wearing trousers.
And if they have bothered to pay the entrance fee to get into a club like that, you can bet it's not a mistake - they are there to pick up a t-girl.
If you start a relationship with someone you've met in a tranny club, then you will never have to face the agony of coming out, years down the line, as many do.
Go for it!
Hugs,
Katie x
PS That's a tip from my forthcoming book - available soon!
July 13, 2008 8:37 PM BST
Hi Victoria,
It might be worthwhile checking the 'trannychat abbreviations' to help bring you up to speed with some of our language here. You can find them using the pink drop down menus, go to Trannychat then select the abbreviations. They aren't all in regular use but you may find them useful.
Nikki