Hi,

Yesterday I took a huge step on my journey. I told my wife of almost ten years that I'm transgendered.

This has to be the most difficult part of the journey. It is the moment where everything changes. In my case she told me that she wasn't surprised, but also that she can't go on this journey with me. We are now separated. It hurts like hell at this point, but not telling her would have been living a lie and I probably would have had to keep things suppressed even longer.

My next steps are seeing the doctor, getting a psychiatrist and figuring out a place to live. So far I have been quite fortunate to have a great friend who is letting me crash at her place. The TW Chat room has also been a fantastic help.

Now to look forward and know that life will get better. I know the journey won't be easy, important things never are.

Thanks again for all the support.

CJ

Calida,
My biggest hugs go out to you. We have chatted some about this and I just want you to know my heart felt feelings are with you. They say time has a way of healing and I hope you can stay positive through this because things will heal in do time.
Hugs,
Marsha

Hi Calida-Jasmine,
It is very rare for a marriage to hold together in your circumstances.
I gather from your posting that you are about to embark on a full transition to the female sex....... including hormones and surgery? The notation on your avatar said "transvestite" which is a little confusing.
Whichever it is, I wish you well in your new life, and a smooth passage into your new state of being.
There are a lot of places from which you can get good data about transition, if it is that upon which you are about to embark.
If I can be of any help, please feel free to contact me. I have been through it, and my experience is at your disposal.
Be strong sister.....it will get better as time goes on.

Hugz,
Kathryn

Fortunately there are no children involved.

As to the CD/Transvestite that was set before I got hit by the freight train and I can't find where to change it.

I know it's best to be out about it, but it hurts like hell because we both still love each other.

Wow.......... my wife and I are divorcing too. I told her BEFORE we were married who I was . She thought she could "Fix" me . Yeah right , I own an ocean within the downtown business district of Phoenix Arizona. I also have a nine year old son who is now getting resentful of "Daddy's " strange way of dress and overall appearance . I can work through the separation with the wife . I don't really know how to work through things with my son. I don't want to lose them but I think in the end it s a probability. Ellen S.

Calida, I am sorry that this has led to you being separated, but it was probably going to come out sooner or later, and sooner is usually less painful and easier for you both in the long run, although that's not to say it isn't difficult for you now of course. You don't mention whether or not there are children involved, as this can certainly be a very difficult, upsetting and confusing time for them too.

I wish you the best of luck in your transition, now you have the opportunity to progress.

Nikki

It's the worst situation when it involves children as well I think. But maybe that's because of my own situation. I believe that ultimately, if left alone and not 'brainwashed' a child will deal through the issues facing them but will still love their parent, you just have to show them that nothing regarding your relationship to them has altered. I have older children who know about me and are fine with it, my younger ones, well, they'll ask questions when they get older and I'll be honest with them.

I hope that everything works out for you both in the end, although it's difficult and painful times ahead.

Calida - if you want to change your persuasion, email Katie and she will do that for you, it can't be done by yourself.

Nikki