January 17, 2010 5:58 PM GMT
January 16, 2010 3:15 AM GMT
Jeri, thank you so much for posting your work. I enjoyed it and the concept behind it. Connections are everywhere and often either taken for granted or overlooked.
You may write rarely but you don't write 'badly'. The most important thing is that you 'write what you feel at the time' I can equate to that so well!
In my sticky to this forum I suggested various codes to let us know what you wanted. Nothing gives you a full critique.
I won't do that to you hunni.
There are flaws in your work - but thats not a bad thing. They are easily remedied.
I am happy to give you advice in open forum - your choice, it allows others to learn at the same time, or through email. Or not at all, of course.
To me, this is an excellent first draft that can be tidied up in an instant - accepting we both speak a different variation of the same language!
What you want is up to you, but I wouldn't say you have a rare talent, you have a raw one.
Keep it up.
Rae. x
January 17, 2010 1:11 AM GMT
Hi Jeri,
Always enjoy a love poem. Obviously a personal statement but it did evoke memories of loves lost in my own life.
Best,
Melody