November 9, 2001 5:03 PM GMT
I've come out on numerous occasions to most every woman I've ever dated (and 90% of them were accepting of my alternative persona, some to the extent of shopping with me for my feminine attire and others as far as giving me make-up tips) but now I've reached what I consider a real dilemna for myself with my present and hopefully last love of my life, the woman I now call my fiancee, my SO.....she's showing the classic symptoms of 'Oh God, my boyfriend is a crossdresser!' attitude.
But let's start at the beginning.....I confided in her my secret of dressing up like her at times right from day 1 but I hid from her the truth that it wasn't a thing of the past, but that I was still currently indulging in my femininity. She shook it off, thankful that she believed it really was a thing of the past, but for the past two years she constantly takes shots at me relating to my crossdressing tendancies. Things like 'Are you watching me (as she's getting dressed) or are you secretly desiring my clothes?' and 'Well, this wig (one that she used to wear during sexual role playing) seems to give me a rash. Do you want it?' and even, 'I bet you'd just love to be putting on this makeup yourself, huh?'.
I used to always tell her that while I'm at home, I'm going to do the Molly Maid thing and clean up the house and that's exactly what I did. I dolled myself up as I had the house to myself and did the housework. She knew what I was referring to and chuckled about it but the other day, while chatting on ICQ while she was at work, she wondered wether I really do that or not so I just said 'Ask me.' to which she did. Being totally honest to her as I have throughout our relationship (barring the untruth of my continuous dressing habits!), I told her outright that yes, I am at present, all dolled up. Well, that's when things came to a head. She understands that many of us 'girls' do this on a regular basis but she's unaccepting of having her man doing it. She just can't understand the need for it. Sure she said it's fun teasing me about it and having a laugh over insinuations regarding my womanly side but she seriously didn't believe I was still active in it. Now she's having second thoughts about me. I tried explaining the need for it to her but no amount of persuasion, pleading, outright untruths seems to get through to her. I've scoured the internet looking for sites that offer explanations as to our need to show her but she's so far refused to look at them, staying with her preconceived notions as to this being a perversion.
It's not that I want her to accept my lifestyle at face value and allow me to partake in my choice with her involvement (though don't we all wish our SO's would? *S*), I just want her to understand that it's not some twisted, sicko choice of life. I'm at a loss here. I really don't want to lose her as she's the most wonderful woman I've ever met but I know I'll never be able to give up the things that I do. God knows I've tried. I'm sure many of you have too. I've laid it aside for years and found my way back again. I've denied it vehemently. I've denounced it with all-out passion. Yet I always found myself drawn back to the thrill I feel when I explore my alter ego. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place here. I know so many of my 'sisters' know from first hand experience of what I speak. I'm here voicing my concerns in order to obtain some much needed advice. Please, can you help?
Not wanting to go back into the closet, Stacy
July 31, 2001 3:31 PM BST
[Coming out is easy , do it on prime time news in your local city. Let me explain at last years gay, lesbian transgendered parade (Yes Perth WA is a small cityand we all get together for numbers) the local TV news station was doing its bit to promote the event and i ended up explaining to a reporter who and for what the float i was working on was for. It being a nice day I had not expected my whole family together with friends to be round one television having just watched some local sports programme. I had some explaining todo the next day. A few coments at work and the whole affair seems to have been forgotten.
November 7, 2001 6:30 PM GMT
Hi Girls,
I never thought I would come out as a child I wanted my own desert island to hide away from the world.
While living in South Africa I got involved with the Phoenix Society, a local support group, they had been approached by a TV show to do a segment on cross dressing.
My friend Natasha volunteered to be interviewed on camera, my fiance and I let them use or house for the interview itself.
The Sunday night the show was on, we sat in natasha's lounge to watch and agreed that her segment presented us in a favourable light. Of course then the phone started ringing, Monday Natasha went to work in drab as usual and everybody in the large company she worked knew, I mean everybody!
The response was great, some of the GG's she worked with bought her flowers. They started asking about clothes and make-up. Large awkward girls wanted to know where to buy nice plus size clothes.
The flip side of this was from a lot of the men who shut Natasha out of conversations, he would walk in somewhere and the silence would descend. This lasted only a few weeks and some of them got over it, there are others who never will and frankly that's their problem.
To me this was amazing, I came straight out and told my sister, both brothers and all my female friends. I told my secretary at work who told her husband, they're still great friends and loved to accompany me to clubs and parties.
I told my best friend if 15 years and he hasn't spoken to me since. That was 4 years ago and still no word, oh well.
Telling folk is a big step, the majority of people realise what a big secret it is and feel priveliged that you deem them worthy to share it. Some people might be hurt that it's taken so many years for you to finally share, and didn't think they would understand even though they love you.
It's hard, but living in silence is harder.
Love
Irene
October 14, 2001 10:01 PM BST
last night my wife saw the PC screen with trannyweb on it
& asked what i was doing
i told her i was talking with friends in a chat room
she went besurk shouting screaming
said why talk to perverts because i am one i told her
all hell let loose and i sat here chating away waiting for
a time to talk i explained the i had been CD for years now
& that if it upset her too much i would leave the house seems things are starting to get back to normal
but alice must stay hidden as the wife does not want to
see me dressed up
October 5, 2001 3:09 PM BST
Dear Rona:
What a lovely first step! Didn't it feel wonderful!
Please tell us all what you plan next! Baby steps are big when moving in such a momentous direction and I am pulling for you!
Brittany
