Today, for the first time, I told someone who knows me that I like dressing up.

This was a colleague from work, a woman whom I've known for about 10 years. We used to work in the same area and spent a lot of time in each other's company. We quickly became close as we were both able to talk intelligently about feelings and emotions. The relationship didn't develop beyond that, not least because she's single but I'm married and didn't want an affair, and our work paths diverged, but we kept in touch and we still see each other for lunch quite often.

Anyway we arranged to have lunch today and fairly quickly got beyond the basics of "how's your job going?" She noticed that I was looking happier and more relaxed. From there it was quite a short step to explaining what's been happening in my life over the last 6 weeks. I also showed her my Trannypix (which I printed off this morning).

Initially she was stunned. She was completely taken by surprise to learn of this aspect to my life. None of her friends cross-dress, and she's never had to think about it as an issue. She couldn't understand why a man would want to dress in women's clothes.

I explained that the clothes were a part of it, but more importantly, wanting to appear as a girl through girly clothes was just the outward expression of something inward and more fundamental. I've always been aware of possessing feminine characteristics - intuition, empathy, receptiveness, gentleness. Now, after years of ignoring these, I'd accepted that my brain was just wired differently from most men and that it was somehow fulfilling for me to express that through dressing as a woman.

I also explained about the Trannyweb site (without naming it) and said that I'd found an online community of trannies that I'd been able to share this with.

At this point I was wondering if I'd made a mistake in telling her about this. However, she recovered well and asked lots of questions. Like, Does your wife know?, Are you going to tell anyone else?, How will you cope if the pressure to live as a female becomes unbearable?, As a tranny do you want men to find you attractive?, Do you want other trannies to find you attractive?, Do you find real girls more attractive than trannies? and so on.

She couldn't believe that the pix were me - she said it looked like someone completely different. So the make-up artist obviously did a good job. Interestingly, she found the girl in the pix quite intimidating (I wonder if any of you girls think I'm intimidating?). She also said she didn't know how she would react if she and I were in a relationship and I told her about this. Also she wasn't sure how comfortable she would feel meeting me for a social occasion if I was dressed.

She did say, however, that she accepted this as part of me, and if it made me happy or fulfilled that had to be a good thing. She was also pleased that I'd chosen to tell her about it.

Obviously it was something of a bombshell for her. She said she needed to let it sink in and work out what she felt about it, and what it meant for her friendship with me. She asked if she could talk about it to some friends of hers, who didn't know me, and I said she could. I hope when the shock has worn off, she'll be able to see this in a positive light.

We ended on a positive and mutually-affirming note and agreed we should meet again soon.

How do I feel about it? Well, this woman is an important person in my life - possibly the most important female friend outside my family circle. She was the only person that I thought I could trust to listen sympathetically and react appropriately. And she coped well, given that this was completely outside her experience.

Am I going to tell anyone else? I hope so, but probably not immediately. I need to let this one work its way through first.

By the way, her name is Catherine, and she was the inspiration for my choice of girly name.

Catherine

Well done Catherine - I'm not sure that I could do what you have done so I applaud you and your progress.

Oh wow, Catherine, good on you! I take it from your post that this was more or less spontaneous and not something you had planned. Was it scary? I think I would have gotten right to the brink and backed away like the big chicken that I am...pretended I had an appointment I forgot about or a roast in the oven or left the shower running or something...and run right back to my comfort zone.

If you don't mind, can you let us know how your friend handled and it and how it works out. All my fingers are crossed that this turns out good.

Hugs. Joni from Oregon

It was semi-planned in that I printed off the pix in advance in case there was a chance to show them. I decided before we met for lunch that if the opportunity arose I was going to reveal myself. I thought it probably would, and it did.

She wasn't as bowled over by the pix as some Trannyweb members have been. My style of dressing is not one she would emulate. And, before she knew it was me, she noticed that it wasn't a real woman in the pix, because some of the bodily structures weren't quite right - hands too large, neck too wide, jaw structure not quite feminine enough. (sigh). However, she conceded that it wasn't obvious, and from a distance rather close up I would easily pass as a woman.

Work commitments permitting, I'm hoping we will be able to meet for a drink on Friday evening. By then I hope she'll give me a considered view on all this. I will let you know.

Catherine

well done catherine , i now how you feel i to told a work collegue but myn was my boss , and now were best friends , we go girly clothes shopping togther , shes a brillant boss , but i dont go dressed

You can see mine anytime your want christina

"And, before she knew it was me, she noticed that it wasn't a real woman in the pix, because some of the bodily structures weren't quite right - hands too large, neck too wide, jaw structure not quite feminine enough. (sigh)"

Well, maybe. But you're still gorgeous, girl.

-Joni from Oregon

Thanks Joni (and all of you) - you're so kind. I do wonder if telling her was the right thing to do. Still, I've done it now. Having the support of the girls on this site is a great help.

lol
Catherine

Go girl. I'm so impressed!

I remember coming out to my wife when we first met. We'd only been going out together for about a week.

Although I was crazy about her, my feeling was that if she reacted badly to my pink side, she would not be the right person for me.

Luckily she took it well and today, after nearly two years of marriage, bought me some presents - a French nail kit and some lovely false eyelashes!

I'd hate to imagine what it would be like to bring up the subject now, for the first time!

Hugs,

Katie

Yes, I also had pictures ready to show when I planned to come out to someone. I think it actually helped me more than the other person.

It's getting easier...

Today I got a late train home from work. I was in a carriage on my own when this businesswoman walked in. Tall, middle-aged, blonde, suit with slit skirt, fancy legware, impressive heels that made my heart melt. And I thought, I want to be female so I can dress like that.

Anyway we both worked away on our laptops for a bit, then she put hers away. I called up some of my trannypix on mine and we got chatting. I asked her what she thought of them.

She gave me her honest opinion... she was very critical of the makeup, which she said was too obtrusive (especially the lippy and around the eyes) and emphasised the wrong features of the face. She didn't like the background to some of the photos, and she thought the model should have posed differently, eg to hide the broad shoulders the masculine hands. However, she didn't say the model was not female, so that's something.

She asked if I was the photographer, and I said no. Then she asked if I was the makeup artist, and again I said no. (I would have thrown myself off the train if I was the makeup artist.) Then she gave me some tips on makeup and deportment, and I thanked her, and told her I was the model, and then she said she thought I was.

At that point it was my stop so I had to get off, in Godalming. She was going all the way to Portsmouth. I've no idea who she was, and I'll never see her again, but in a way she's the second real person I've come out to.

Why is it that real girls don't like my pix?

lol
Catherine

Hi Catherine-

Good morning from Oregon. How are you? I'm not sure if I can answer your question about g-girls not liking your pix, that may not actually be what they're saying though. I mean they didn't recoil in horror or start laughing uproariously, did they?

What I've noticed about gg's is that they tend to be very critical (and I mean this in the way that a film critic is critical, not critical to be mean or hurtful) especially of things like fashion, style, makeup and so on. Have you ever noticed how a g-girl looks at herself in the mirror. She looks at her face as though it were something she might or might not buy. As though, "if only the finish work were a little better, I'd get this, it would look nice on the mantle." <lol>

Besides, this is all live and learn, right? I truly do think you look great in your pix. I'm so envious. So, I say emphasize your good points, use the the good bits of the criticism you get some from "real" girls and keep on keepin' on.

Hugs, Joni

Thanks Joni. I think you're right, she wasn't being nasty, just naturally critical about makeup in the way that real girls are. You're so right, this is live and learn, and I'll know better next time.

I didn't manage a drink with my friend on Friday evening as she was delayed at a work event, but we agreed to arrange one soon. So I'll let you know what happens.

Catherine

Thanks very much girls, the train experience was fun and I would definitely do it again.

The next milestone is a lunch date next Tuesday with my friend Catherine - the first person I came out to. I'd really like to know how she's reacted. I'll let you know.

Cat

Hi all,

Talking about comming out to a friend. I had a female friend that I worked with a 23 years ago. We worked together for about 7 years, then I moved on to a different company and she has stayed till this day. The first year I knew her, I asked her out on a date but she said she was involved with someone else. Then I asked another girl I knew at work a few months later and she said she was involved with someone else and didn't date. Later, I found out the two of them were living together . Anyways, since I kept in contact I figured she would be a good person to tell before my wife - practice. I told her, and it went as expected. She said whenever you want to go out ( as friends ) , let me know. A few weeks ago our schedules finally meshed and she met me at Donnie's. Since in some ways she is more mentally male then I am, she bought me the drinks. We chatted for a while and she had to head home. Looking forward to the next time we can get together. But it seems the more people I tell, the more I feel comfortable with myself.

Casandra

Catherine, that was an interesting experience on the train. Be careful, though; not everyone will be as calm as that woman.

Hmm... do you mind if I use that scenario as the opening for a tranny fiction story?

Thanks for the warning Stevie. I'll try to be careful! Yes, of course you can use the scenario as the opening for a tranny fiction story. I'd be interested to see it when it's finished.

thanks cindy. coming out to my family will probably never happen - but i might be able to tell some close friends. also the girls on the trannyweb site are friends of a rather special kind and i hope to meet some of them for real one day. you're right, the site is a wonderful place.
lol
catherine

I said I'd report back on my next meeting with my friend Catherine from work - she was the first person I came out to, a few weeks ago. Well, we had lunch today. And we had a long conversation about my tranny life. By the end I had distinctly mixed feelings. So here goes.

She had some positive things to say. She accepts that being tranny is part of me. She said she was fond of me and wanted the best for me as a person.

However, she admits that she's completely failed to understand the tranny consciousness. She can't relate to the pleasure of dressing up for its own sake. She doesn't understand why men want to be like women. Neither she nor her friends know any trannies and it's a completely alien subject to her. In contrast, she has lots of gay friends, and doesn't have any trouble relating to them as gay people.

She was also surprised that I'd chosen to tell her about it, since our period of short and intense friendship was some years ago - although we've kept in touch since then. She said that coming out was such a huge thing to do that - if it was her - she might only have told a few close friends, and she probably wouldn't have told me. She also felt a little threatened by the fact that I'd told her and no other friends as yet, since it implied that I might want to raise it every time I saw her. She would prefer to regard my coming out to her as just something I'd done to relieve the pressure, which wouldn't have any effect on my relationship with her. She also said she didn't feel close enough to me to justify the effort involved in trying to understand what it was like to be a tranny.

I was reduced to justifying what I'd done by saying that I'd really wanted to tell someone about this exciting development in my life, and that I'd chosen her because we'd always been able to talk openly about intimate subjects. Also she didn't know my family so wouldn't feel any conflict of loyalties. I said I'd thought she would be personally supportive, and she was at the time I told her. I also said I'd assumed (wrongly) that she might have some tranny acquaintance.

I swallowed hard and said she shouldn't worry about it, I was quite resilient really, and I wasn't expecting anything in particular from her in the future. She was reassured by that.

So there we left it. I'm now sorry that I told her about my tranny side. I feel I've squandered a rare and precious thing - the knowledge of my girliness - on someone who didn't really want to know.

And given that the only other real-life GG I've told (a complete stranger on the train - see earlier posts) was also unsupportive, I'm not doing at all well with this coming out business. I absolutely can't tell my family. I am longing to meet a real GG who will listen to me with sympathy. At the moment I can't see how that will happen or how I'm ever going to come out to anyone again.

So, my dear sisters, your gorgeous Cat is crushed in spirit, and struggling to hold back the tears.

Rachel and Cindy - many, many hugs and thanks. You are so kind and loving and the best sisters anyone could ever have.

You're right, some people will not understand, and there's nothing we can do about that. But others will - like those on this site - and that's much more important. Yesterday's experience was a temporary setback. I feel more than ever that my tranny side is my true self and will always be there. And the friendships I make on this site are going to be among the deepest I have.

So... onwards and upwards. I love you both.

Catherine