August 10, 2004 3:07 PM BST
It's tough being called names. I'm sure most of us have been through it at one time or another. I've never been 'found out' as I've always been upfront with my 'womanhood' right from the beginning. Some women are accepting once they understand what it's all about, most are not. I've been called everything from sicko to pervert. A lot of relationships ended quicker then they began once I 'spilled the beans', so to speak. It hurts but I just carry on, knowing that there are people that accept our sometimes hidden desires. Though I can't relate to you being discovered by your wife after so many years of marriage, I can understand the hurt you are suffering by her name calling. My ex was totally into 'Stacy', letting 'Stacy' be 'Stacy' almost 95% of the time but after our breakup, she lambasted me with every name in the book making me feel like a real heel. She even 'outed' me to all my friends and needless to say, I soon found myself on the outside looking in, feeling totally isolated and completely alone.
My life carried on and my femininity stayed and soon I found new friends in the TG community and others like us that relate to our feelings inside. A full half of the women I know now know of 'Stacy' and go so far as shopping with me for my female wardrobe. It took time. Lot's of time. Lot's of hurdles to overcome. Not everyone is accepting. They never will be. They're entitled to their opinions and though it hurts we have to realize that that is their choice just as you have a choice and opinions of your own that others may not agree with. Women like us are left with some tough choices, that is, do we bury our desires to please others in our life or seek out those that understand who we are? Your wife may come around but then again, she may not. That is a fact you'll have to face and you'll have to deal with. It may not turn out the way you want, having a loving, accepting wife who understands your feminine side, but you'll have to either appease her by giving up your secret or move on like I have. It all depends on how deep your desire to be 'Meredith' is. I have tried on a number of occasions to supress 'Stacy' but to no avail. She's a part of me and she'll never, EVER go away and so I made my choice.....I moved on. It hurt but not as much as the names did. I now have a wonderful, loving group of friends and life now looks very good to me because Meredith, like you, we are NOT 'freaks'!!!
Stacy
August 11, 2004 8:39 PM BST
Mere I've probley been called every thin in the book. Being a freak can be a good thing the friend I menchoned in an ealer post introducted to people who are freaker than us so don't let it bother you, take it as a compliment TRUST ME on this I do know some real freaky people.
August 12, 2004 1:19 AM BST
OH, boy. I'm gonna stick my neck out here and probably get it chopped off.
Girls, WE are "freaks of nature". We are "freaks" without who's ancestors there would not be a single genetic male on the earth. The changes that made us what we are are resposible for the evolution of MEN from WOMEN. Without us, gg's would have nobody to get them pregnant (they would still be doing themselves solo), take them to dinner or a reason to put on a wedding dress. They should be damn grateful, for without us the world would be a very different and boring place.
But don't call me or my sisters a "freak" to be hurtful or you will get a rotter great tolchok to the ol' viddy. Meridith, you doll, no matter how you lose one who you love deeply, it is going to hurt like hell. Can't fix that. But you are so nice that I would be proud to be classed by anyone in the same group with you, and Jayne and my other sisters, no matter what they call us.
If she didn't care deeply about you, Meridith, she would not be so angry/hurt. It's the ones that walk away unphased that you had already lost. If you want her, fight to keep her. Jayne is right, do what you can and don't give up. At the very least you will always know you did everything and have no regrets about that. I now realize that the last thing I did before Wendy popped out was to write a deeply loving letter to my ex telling her how much I loved her and giving her another chance to open the door again. She didn't. I won't spend my live as Wendy going..."If only..." I will always love her.
Hugs X
August 12, 2004 10:25 AM BST
Wendo
i don't think you stuck your neck out at all, you're just telling it as it is. Sometimes thats easier than beating round the bush.
I agree with you on what jayne said too, keep working at it and don't give up.............Love JJ xx