Hi girls, I posted this on the "All About Us" board, but after a bit of reflection felt it was probably more appropriate here, so I just cut and pasted it. I didn't know how to make it go away on the other board, so it's still there, too. Please feel free to address concerns about the double post to the Department of Redundancy Department. Sorry, not trying to be a smartass, just trying to be funny, you know me.<lol>

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Hi Everyone-

At first I wasn't going to post anything about this because in the grand scheme of things it seems a bit inconsequential, especially given the steps that some girls have already taken and the hurdles that so many other girls face in their day to day lives. But then, I thought, why not? Even though it's a relatively small step perhaps it might give someone else who's wavering on the brink and trying to make up their mind the heart to do what they want to do.

I came out to my supervisor at work a couple of days ago, on Wednesday morning to be exact. I had made a date to have breakfast with her, since I get off at 7 in the morning but I had forgotten that I had to work until 11 that day. Anyway, I had already told her that I had something very personal and not really work related to discuss with her, so when she came in she asked me what was up. She was very concerned that it was something serious in my personal life like an illness or a serious family problem. Perhaps I should say right here that my supervisor and I have known each other nearly 20 years and she has been my boss for 14 years and she also knows my wife and son, so things are a little different for us than for some.

Anyway, I kept putting her off and telling her I wanted it to be away from work where we wouldn't be interrupted, but I could tell that she was genuinely concerned that something was wrong in my life. Fortunately, it was very quiet that morning, so I finally gave in, actually since I had already made up my mind to do it, I wanted to get it off my chest anyway. We went in her office and closed the door and after a lot of hemming and hawing, I asked her if she was familiar with the term "transgendered" and what it meant. She looked a bit puzzled but assured me that of course she knew what it meant. So I took a deep breath and told her that I'm a transgendered person.

She asked me if that meant that I was planning on having an operation, as in SRS, and I made the distinction between TG and TS and also told her that I didn't plan to come out at work but wanted her to know because I'm getting tired of always pretending to my friends and people I care about and feeling like I'm always flying false colors. I also told her how hard this was for me, to come out and tell someone, but that being open felt like the right thing to do at this point in my life. She gave me a big hug and said that she loved me as a friend as my male self, so why shouldn't she love me if I'm also a girl? It touched me so much I started to cry, which really startled her, since as my male self that would be very unusual.

We talked for nearly an hour, then went and had lunch and talked for almost two more hours. She was full of questions, but also seemed to know at least a few things about TG issues. She was very kind and supportive and told me that if I should ever decide to come out at work that I had her full backing and she would support me completely which made me feel wonderful and very happy. She also said that as a friend she still felt the same about me as ever. I had taken a couple of pix along so her imagination wouldn't run wild (you know, drag queen images, 3 foot platinum blonde hair, double E boobs) and she was amazed at the difference and actually said she thought I made a better looking woman than I do man, which is exactly what I think, too, so that was cool.<lol>

Anyway, for what it's worth, if this helps someone else make up their mind about coming out to a friend or at work, I wish you the best of luck in your decision. Of course, things are different for each of us and all our situations are unique, but you never know, things may turn out better than you expect.

Hugs, Joni

Very well done.
It seems funny now but life didn't change just because someone knows. All our little fears were for nothing.

Thanks, Tiina and Karen, I feel very lucky indeed to have such a good friend and also very lucky for all the friends and support here on TW. In all honesty, if it wasn't for what I've learned about myself and others here, I would never have had the courage to be more true to who I really am. I know it's not easy for any of us, but you never know what will happen or how you will accepted until you try.

Hugs, Joni

Just read what you wrote Joni sis, good for you hun and as Tiina said "i'm proud of you" well that goes for me too.......hugz Julie xx

Thank you, JJ. You're one of the people I meant when I said that I had taken courage from the examples of others here on TW. I'm very glad to know you.

Hugs, Joni

Hey Joni,

the courage you showed comes from in you babe, all of us here just helped in a lttle way..........hugz to you sis Julie xx

Hi Joni
Well done girl, your heart rate must have been up quite a bit and maybe skipping the occasional beat because of the enormous courage it took to tell your supervisor friend. She obviously values a true friend when she knows one and Im sure she will enjoy getting to know you even better now. I am very happy for you Joni.

Love Dorothy. xx

Hi Joni,

Your decision is one that is very encouraging to the rest of us.
Thank you for sharing not only this experience, but all the other
encouragements. You are truely special !!

Hugz,
Michelle Lynn

Well done Joni! You are an inspiration for a lot of us! I'm so glad that things are working out for you. You certainly deserve it I really do hope that things just continue to get better for you hon

Hugs,

Monika